6 am

6:00am.

That’s what it reads on his alarm clock. Last time he had checked it had read 5:55am. No matter how hard he tries his body just can’t seem to fall asleep. Every bone in his body aches, and every muscle is sore, but still no matter what, here he is- still awake at 6 in the morning.

He can’t remember getting home, or changing his clothes, or even taking a shower. But somehow he’s lying on his bed, in his room, in his apartment. Everything looks the same, everything he owns is there in its rightful place, but yet nothing seems to feel the same. Nothing has felt the same to him since that night. That night that everything he had ever truly cared for vanished.

“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry, but I can’t do this anymore.”  Those words are now forever stuck on repeat in his head.  Over and over and over again he hears it. That’s why he can’t go to sleep- because if he sleeps, if he allows himself to shut his eyes even for a second the images of her will once again pop into his head and he doesn’t know if he can handle it.

So he lies here, on his side of the bed. Her side of the bed left untouched because he doesn’t have the heart to touch it. Part of him still wants to believe that she’ll come back and everything will be fine again, that maybe he’ll be happy again. Happy. He doesn’t even remember what that means, or even feels like anymore.

It’s raining out and he hates it because the rain reminds him of her. She always used to say that the rain was freeing and refreshing and she could stand out in it all day. And sometimes she would, until he told her she would catch pneumonia and she would look at him and tell him he needed to let go a little.

“You should try it.”

“Try what?”

“Standing in the rain.”

“And why would I want to do that?”

“I don’t know. It’s fun. And maybe it’ll relieve all that stress you keep locked inside. You could even cry and no one would notice, they’d think it’s just the rain.”

And he would. He would stand out there with her until their hands started turning into prunes and she started to shiver, and he’d remind her once again about catching pneumonia and she’d finally give in and go inside. That’s when he loved the rain. Now hearing the heavy rain drops fall against his window only reminds him of what he used to have and it just leaves him feeling empty. And it makes him sick, like he’s about to throw up so he runs to the bathroom. But nothing comes out. He turns on the faucet and splashes cold water onto his face, trying to wake up from this nightmare he’s in. But, when he looks in the mirror, he’s still there in his apartment, in the dark and alone.

In the far distance he hears his alarm clock go off. Time for work- what he’s been burying himself in for the last 2 weeks in an effort to forget everything. To forget her. It doesn’t work, but being busy numbs the pain a little.

When he goes back into his room he looks at his alarm clock and it reads 6:30am.

6:30 am. He didn’t sleep that day, like he didn’t sleep the day before, or the day before that. He can’t make himself shut his eyes and relive that day again.

Reviews

[SR Urie]

Hiya Cibs,
Nice story, a good read. The guy awaits the alarm to finally sound off at six in the morning, not having slept all night, missing his lady that once slept right next to him, and he cannot even touch the bed where she no longer lies. The pneumonia and the rain are dragged into is mind by the sound of the morning rain to his ears, making him want to be sick but leaving him the water of the sink instead of the rain outside, the rain that took his beloved away.
Very good prose and a smooth text. If I may, you might want to describe the characters a little more in the next story, giving me, the reader, a little bit more to hold onto besides the guy’s sadness. Great start; keep it up! BZ

[Cibs]

This is the first story I have ever written and it was done in 10 minutes, so I know it may have some kinks to it. It was just something that was stuck in my head and I just had to put it to paper.

Constructive criticism is always welcomed as I'm trying to get better at writing, so I really appreciate any advice anyone has to give.

[WriterMe]

Wow this was really something. Who knew you could revolve such an intense story from an alarm clock. Very good descriptions, emotions were perfectly portrayed. Over all great job.