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"What's more romantic than dying in the moonlight?"

Beneath the moonlit sky

I lie underneath the stars

I hear nothing but

the sound of the wind

As it whispers

Telling me everything will be

alright

But it's not

All my memories

Good and Bad

Begin swirling in the sky

Amongst the stars

I silently start to cry

This is it.

The end.

My heartrate starts to fade

So I take my last few breaths

Scarlett taints my tears

I see a falling star

It's the last thing I see

I close my eyes

And hope for something better.

 

Author's Note

"What's more romantic than dying in the moonlight" is from my favourite song by Tom Waits, which popped into my head after I wrote it. That's why I put that there.

Reviews

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[OceanTropic]

"The sound of the wind as it whispers."

I loved this line, I could hear it myself.

I especially loved the last 2 lines. They really pull the whole thing together. The poem itself seemed a bit choppy because the lines were so short, just a few words, so as a red it I skipped from line to line and it felt like I read it too fast. It's easy to lose the meaning this way.

Altogether thought it was very sweet, even though it was about death. That last line really got me.

[Marshall Hanson]

Sad..Moving...I really like this poem.

[...]

. immensely moving and poignant words ... beautifully written ... though i'm tempted to say ... " why not enjoy the moonlight some more? " ...

[SilentDreamer]

Sad, tragic really. Flows very well, has good rythym, rhymes. And paints a picture in your head. You can visualise what's happening really well. Awesome job, very good poem!! :)

[Josh]

Sad, but beautiful. Nicely done.

[Jonathan De Elvira]

Urm...that was actually more sad than romantic....God, dying alone was bad enough, not to mention die right front of beautiful scenery...

[NoneOfYourBusiness akaK..]

the last song under nature's canvas~ melancholy yet beautiful~

[nono]

You could call it "midnight sky of life" I don't know that's what I got from it when I read it. But everyone will get something different not always what you intend. Nicely done you did a fantastic job on this!

[Trevor]

it's perfect, it's something I can never write.