Him

This was written on the fly. I had to pull over while I was driving to get it down before I forgot. It might be kind of garbled logically. I apologize. Thanks for reading!

He pours another practiced smile 

In an artificial mold
Like a picket fence in a straight, white aisle
'Round a house left dead and cold

Take the highway, speed on through
No back roads will a stranger wander
He won’t regard the claims of you
Don’t make him feel or make him fonder

Don’t pump the brakes, don’t turn around
Drive past this quiet, unknown town
All the exits have been closed
Roadblocks counter each danger posed

Never will a tourist travel
To this place that no one knows
His secrets might become unraveled
Friends have no chance to be his foes

The road signs, they warn, “Don’t come close!”
“Go back from where you came!”
No one dares awaken sleeping ghosts
That haunt this town of little fame

I wish somehow I could get by
If not by land, perhaps by sky
What beauty may be hidden there
Things clandestine, unique, and rare

In esoteric anecdote
I’ve heard within there lies
A song that reaches from his heart
A melancholy cry

It’s coming from an ornate garden
Green with nature, lush and alive
Its center tender, but walls are hardened
Trees sway gently on the inside

A wondrous willow stands soft and steady
With longing branches at the ready
To take in thoroughgoing love
As like an honest, patient nesting dove

Author's Note

Constructive criticism welcome.

Reviews

[pinhead07]

Vivid piece, it struck a nerve, nothing I would correct, wish I'd written it. Keep writing because this flow of yours is contagious, the simplicity and elegance of the words used make it seem like visions. Good job.

[Emma Grace Tennyson]

Thank you very much!

[Sam]

As excellent as this work is, this one I feel, I actually can give constructive criticism to. In the first stanza, you should nix the word plastic and maybe instead of around, the line should use 'Round. (One less syllable with the apostrophe.) The other thing I saw in the fifth stanza, the second line should be changed to: Go back from where you came.

[Emma Grace Tennyson]

Thank you. I really like those revisions!