The Color of Innocence

For with eveything you are, you're just a little girl.

“It is a gift.”

Adara looked at the jeweled necklace with hesitation. It was a deep green, mimicking her eyes. It made her all the more suspicious.

“What is it for?” she asked incredulously.

Her Aunt Keren gingerly handled the necklace, lifting it from the obsidian case. She didn’t answer. Instead, she strode over to the girl with a frightful grace and turned her around, unclasping the necklace. “Your hair,” she commanded.

As she brushed her lengthy blonde tresses from her neck she felt the jewels cruelly caress her skin, making her shiver.

“It’s from your uncle,” the woman finally responded.

Her face was disturbing in its ambiguity. Her eyes never seemed to stay one color; they ranged from blue, gray, to green, determined by some unknown force. She wore a heavy amount of make-up, but it was not unattractive. The hue of the copious amounts of kohl around her eyes differed every day and only enhanced the mysteries of her indeterminate features. The rogue on her already burgundy cheeks seemed to darken with each passing day and caused her face to glow in spite of its natural dark quality.

“Why would he give me such a handsome gift?” Adara queried. “I have done nothing special.”

These gifts were common enough, but Uncle Avi never gave anything away without reason. The last time she obtained something of such quality it was for her distant cousin’s wedding the year before. Come to think of it, the gift had been a dress, as green as the jewels around her neck. Her uncle seemed to believe the color to suite her best.

“You will be meeting his associates tonight,” Keren responded coolly. Every utterance from her mouth was either a statement or a command, never a question. She was the complete opposite of Adara.

These ‘associates’ her aunt spoke of were the politicians that decided how the country’s funds would be split and other financial and communal assessments. Their conversations were achingly dull to listen to, despite their relevance. Half of it she didn’t understand, and the other half she didn’t care to comprehend.

“Will Gabriel be there?” Adara asked optimistically.

The boy, only one month younger than she, was her light in darkness, the darkness being pompous men with similar but equally distasteful suits. She’s not really allowed outside her uncle’s house, so she hasn’t had any contact with him for years.

“Most likely,” Aunt Keren answered curtly, leaving the ostentatious room. “I expect you to be ready by noon.”

Adara nodded her response, and the mysterious woman closed the door behind her. Taking off the striking band, she gracelessly dropped down on her elegant bed, trying to remember the last time she had seen her friend. Unfortunately, her recollection was blurry and all she could remember was the fact that he was a good head shorter than she was and that she had put him through Hell because of it.

She began to wonder why he hadn’t been there all the times the politicians had met. He was never with his father, and whenever she asked the haughty man where Gabriel was, he barely even looked down at her.

“It sure has been a while.” A voice sounded in the hallway outside Adara’s door. “I wonder what the occasion is for.”

Another slightly higher voice scoffed. “Father probably wants to convey the message that he has the largest ego of them all.”

The voices belonged to her cousins, Brina and Talia. Adara stood, discarding the necklace on her dresser, and walked over to her door. Opening it, the two girls turned.

“I was about to knock,” Brina said with a nervous smile.

She was the younger of the two, paradoxically being taller and thinner than her sister was. Despite being quite awkward during her growth spurt, she had recently acquired a kind of grace that put her mother to shame, thus beginning their dissimilarities. With Brina, what you saw was the truth. There were no mysterious, only kind chocolate eyes and a tender smile. She was a girl you could trust.

Talia, on the other hand, was different. She always seemed to be off in another place. Her voice was small and quaint, and didn’t hold the command her mother’s did. Even though she was introverted, she wasn’t kind like her sister. She was distant and often times cold. Her similar brown eyes were darker than her sister’s and her smiles were rare.

Brina sat on her bed, behaving as if it were her own room. Talia, however, sat in a chair in the corner. Spotting the necklace, she sighed. “So I suppose Father informed you of the gathering.”

The girl didn’t really like her father. It was strange, too, because most of the people in his house absolutely adored him.

“Actually, your mother did,” Adara corrected, sitting next to Brina,” and I wish she hadn’t.”

“I guess you’re not looking forward to it either,” Brina said. “I don’t even know why we have to go; those people are of no concern to us.” Brina was always the rebel, outspoken and frank.

“We have to keep up formalities,” Talia said, even though she didn’t like it either.

“It’s all too pedantic,” Adara huffed. “I’m just hoping Gabriel will be there.”

“Haven’t you heard?” she asked. “He’s one of them now.”

Talia rolled her eyes slightly, propping her head on her chin.

“What do you mean by ‘one of them’?” Adara asked.

Brina paused for a while to dramatize her statement. “A politician.”

She spoke the word as if it was poison in her mouth.

“C’mon, I know Gabriel may be a bit…stuck-up, but a politician?” Adara refused to believe it. “Where did you even hear this?”

“Father informed us,” Talia answered for her sister. “He isn’t going to just accompany his father anymore; he is his father.”

I looked away, not willing to acknowledge her rather cruel statement. In our younger days, Gabriel was determined to be just the opposite of his father. He loved the man, that was a given, but he knew exactly what he wanted in life. “I want to be an explorer,” he always said enthusiastically. “That way, I can see the world!” Of course, it was only a childhood dream, one that you brag about and hope for, but , never reach for.

Brina looked at Adara sympathetically. “I’m sure he’s the same,” she lied.

Uttering a small ‘thanks’ she shooed them out the door, telling them that she had to get ready for the meeting. However, it took her a while to actually put on her dress and become presentable, and she finally did, she looked into the mirror.

Even though she was a teenager, she still held an incandescent purity. She was innocent, all blonde hair and green eyes. However, she couldn’t help but wonder if she had changed, too. Maybe her eyes held a certain intelligence fitting for an adult. Maybe her smile held a sort of slyness that seemed to come with ease on the face of the young men and women she had seen. But alas, her face still had that cherubic quality.

She was still a child.

Author's Note

This is really just half the chapter, but I really need help! Desperately!

Reviews

[Daniel Thomas Andrew Da..]

I get the strong impression it is a period piece - late nineteenth or early twentieth century, but correct me if I am wrong. If it is, the type of dialogue of the characters is quite and most suitable to the era of which it is set it. One thing I have noticed, though, is that in recent years a lot of period or historical pieces tend to often use modernistic type of dialogue or cultural understanding, transposed to yesteryear. But, in reality, people were not like that. In those days many people were quite godfearing and religious, conservative in outlook, and strong female characters as you get today were not often in the limelight. The kind of female character you had was the bennett sisters from Pride and Prejudice, being the strongest example of the strong woman type. But, as an example of what I was talking about, Joan of Arc with Mila Jovovich had an, while definitely enjoyable story and character, a character which simply would not have been so outgoing as she was portrayed. If you watch the sound of music and look at other early 1940s movies, you will see just how sensitive, soft, gentle and conservative people really were in yesteryear. 'Passion' as it were, was shunned as unchristian. Gone with the wind was an exception to the rule - but it was intended to be like that by the writer. But society, and women in society back then, were rarely as outspoken as they are often portrayed as today. So, reinterpreting history for the sake of a good story is interesting, but does not change the realities of the historical past. My hope is that your work, if it is a period piece, is true to the culture and time period in which it was written, which would probably take some research, as in reading a few books from the era you are writing about.

On the other hand, if it is a more modern tale, set in a more recent era (which seems doubtful if gabriel wanted to be an explorer), then the female characters would be too conservative.

The story itself flowed smoothly, carefully, and was written well. There were minor grammatical problems here and there, but you write a lot better than some of the others on this website, and many other writers. Your grammar, to me, is generally fine needing only basic editing.

I feel, your choice of vocabulary and the very fact that the characters themselves are from an older period, leads me to conclude you are a conservative, perhaps religious, type of person yourself. Your language betrays a formalistic personality, perhaps even quite professional. As such, and with the obvious education you have received and the knowledge you would possess, I anticipate that you will (hopefully) create some endearing and memorable, yet distinctive, characters - ones which are true to life, and gifted with each of their own unique personality mannerisms and traits. There are a number of keys to a successful book, probably the most important of course being a great idea or theme/plot which is handled well and comes out in a way people relate to and enjoy reading. But along the way, witty dialogue, careful and original observations of the subtleties of life, and interesting characters, are also key factors which often determine the success of a work. If you can make your book interesting, and enrich it with a smattering of good ideas in whatever way you want, something which I feel you are likely capable of, you have the potential of being published. Overall, though, this book is not appealing to me on a personal basis, not being the type of reading material I would usually go for, but I am very sure there are a number of potential fans for this work, especially amongst older readers, and moralistic youth.

A good piece of writing, worth continuing with, and potentially publishable if ultimately coming out the right way (which is the mystery every author is working on, in case you wanted to know). A good effort. Daniel, Canberra