"The Lost Empire III: The Road To Avon"

James continues his journey to the Lost Empire. But first must get through the road to Avon.

“The Road To Avon: A Lost Empire Story”

By Cody Williams

 

            James stood up and looked around confused as the man in black watched from afar in the bushes behind him. James noticed that there was nothing around. It was as if he was in the middle of nowhere. He looked over to the bushes that were to the left of him. There was a wooden arrow that pointed straight ahead. The arrow read AVON AHEAD.

            “What the hell is Avon?” James asked himself. He looked around for a moment more and turned his attention to the sign again. James let out a deep sigh and continued to walk the path to Avon.

            ‘I’ll go to Avon and find out where I need to go to get back home.’ James thought quietly to himself. After James left the man in black walked out from behind the bushes. With looked after James with an evil smirk.

            “Who is this man that falls from the sky? Is he too looking for the Holy Grail? Is he a threat for my rightful thrown?” The man in black questioned himself. James continued to the path of Avon and the man in black followed hiding behind the bushes.

            James continued walking for several minutes. After about a fifteen-minute walk he began to feel a terrifying feeling. It was the feeling that he was being watched. He paused for a moment when he began hearing rustling in the bushes behind him. James turned around to face to shrub. Ha placed his hand the quiver that was holding his sword on the right side of his hip.

            “Halt! Who goes there?” James blurted out while pulling his sword out of the quiver. There was no answer. The rustling stopped for a moment and then began again. “Who goes there? Show yourself!” James shouted again. Still no answer. The thing behind the bushes paused again and then stepped out from behind the shrubs.

            “Holy s**t!” James said with his mouth dropped open. It was much more than a man as he though. It stood at nearly eight feet tall on it’s hind legs and was covered with black fur. The beast had long jagged teeth and a long snout for a nose. It was a black bear. The beast let out a loud growl and took charge for James.

            “S**t!” James shouted as he dodged the path of the beast. The beast once again stood up on its hind legs again let out another loud growl that sent chills up James’ spine. He shook it off and held up his sword. James motioned for the bear to come towards him in a challenging fashion. The beast jumped back down to all four legs. The beast once again charged towards James. James swung the sword at the beast. The steel joshed scrapped skin of the beast as he dogged its path again.

            A river of blood began to pour down the body of the beast. The beast turned around once more and growled.

            “Come foul beast! Do your worst!” James shouted challenging the beast. The beast ran towards him and James swung the sword again this time decapitating the beast. James whipped the blood of the beast from the sword and slid it back into the quiver. He took off his metal helmet and whipped the sweat from his fore head and then placed the helmet back on. He turned around and once again started to walk the path to Avon.

            The man in black once again appeared from the behind the bushes and walked over to the headless beast. He reached into his pocket and pulled out a cigarette. The man in black placed it into his mouth and then reached back into his pocket and pulled out a lighter. He lights the cigarette and then pulled it out exhaling smoke.

            “The son of a b***h is stronger than I thought. He must be going for my thrown! He must be going for the Holy Grail.” The man in black said. He paused and thought for a moment. “What is he? Who is he? He can’t be human. He’s too strong. Why did he fall from the sky?” The man in black puzzled himself. He knelt down and stuck his index finger in the blood of the beast and licked it. He put a sick grin off his faced and put the cigarette out on the head of the beast. The man in black went back behind the bushes and continued to follow James to Avon.

            Meanwhile James continued to walk the road and finally reached a white wooden sign with green letters on it that read WELCOME TO AVON.

            “Finally here.” James said satisfied and excited to finally get some answers. He took his helmet off again and began walking through the town. The journey to The Lost Empire continues.

Copyright 2013 by Cody Williams

Courtesy of The Enchanted Press

A division of TTP Entertainment

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Author's Note

This is the third installment of my ongoing 'Lost Empire' series. The first two installments "The Twister" and "The Man In Black" could serve as stand alines as all they do is introduce two of the main characters. However, I feel that "The Road To Avon" is not so much a stand alone story. You will probably have to read all three to fully understand who these two men are.

I've been wanting to return to the series for a few weeks now and I finally got to it. I hope you guys enjoy it. I realize it's not my usual horror story in fact it's nothing less than a high fantasy. But i still encourage you to read it. Please leave comments and tell me what you think. The journey has just begun! Stay tuned!

-CW

Reviews

[Angel]

Sounds like you're working it into a crackin' good tale, Cody...as per your usual.
Again, as usual, you need to work a bit on the mechanics. You have some errors that can slow the reader down.
I'm gonna take the time and do a little bit of "editing" for you...just the first few errors I see...to give you an idea what I'm talking about.

1. With looked after James with an evil smirk.
That isn't a sentence. I think you meant
1. He looked after James with an evil smirk.

2.Is he too looking for the Holy Grail?
This is actually correct with or without a comma...but in my humble opinion, it makes it easier for the reader to follow if you put a comma or two here.
2. Is he, too, looking for the Holy Grail?
Either way is right, but it just reads better with the commas.

3. The beast
You seem to repeat this phrase a lot. It does seem a bit redundant. You might try using just "It"...
3.The beast had long jagged teeth and a long snout for a nose. It was a black bear. The beast let out a loud growl and took charge for James.

“S**t!” James shouted as he dodged the path of the beast. It once again stood up on its hind legs again let out another loud growl that sent chills up James’ spine. He shook it off and held up his sword. James motioned for the bear to come towards him in a challenging fashion. It jumped back down to all four legs. The beast once again charged towards James. James swung the sword at the beast. The steel joshed scrapped skin of the beast as he dogged its path again.

A river of blood began to pour down the body of the beast. It turned around once more and growled.

See what I mean? It isn't as distracting to the reader, who is forming a mind picture of what is happening in the story.
OH, and while we're here "dogged" should be "dodged". He isn't dogging the beast, which would imply following him like a puppy dog, he is dodging it, as in ducking out of the way.

And speaking of spelling, this particular error slows me down every time:
4.James whipped the blood of the beast from the sword
You mean
4.James wiped the blood of the beast from the sword
"whipped" is what cruel masters once did to their poor slaves.
"wiped" is what your Mom did to your face after you made a mess with your food...

These are just a few of the errors I found, and I'm not really looking for them. There are more, but, much as I love your writing, Hun...you are not paying me to proof read for you.

Anyway, the story itself is tremendous...and you are a very talented author, my friend. You just have lousy spelling and grammar skills. The problem is that you make the reader work, correcting these simple errors in their heads...
I know, I know...it's a pain in the patella, especially when your brain is racing faster than your fingers, and the story is flowing. But it truly would be worth it, Hun, to hone those mechanical skills, to polish your writing and make it shine like a beacon, and get you the attention you deserve as a writer.

[Cody Williams]

Thanks for the help Angel!

-CW

[Angel]

It's no problem, Hun. I would love to see you get the recognition your writing truly deserves...and I know that people are going to be put off by such things as these. You are too good to be judged on your spelling...

[Douglas White]

Not too bad, but the characters still feel two-dimensional. Consider writing a back story for each character - not to publish, but for yourself - so you understand your characters' motivations. If you change your perspective a little and look at your characters as *people* instead of pawns to push through a story, you should see what I'm getting at. Your dialog, too, seems forced. Spend a little time just listening to how you, your family, friends, and acquaintances talk during ordinary conversations, and you will quickly see what I mean by forced. You have no trouble, obviously, with creating situations and places, now just work on your characterizations.

[Nia Hope]

OMG sooooooooo loving it already (even though I accidentally read the sixth one before reading this one) but I still love where this is going!

[Cody Williams]

Thanks for reading Ankara! I have more coming soon! Stay tuned!

-CW

[Rosaria_V]

you have such a great way with stories my gosh!!

[Cody Williams]

Thanks Rosaria!

-CW

[Rosaria_V]

most welcome

[Leslie Philibert]

You do well to move away from the horror corner and widen your range...

[Cody Williams]

Thanks for reading! This series really began to take off after I wrote the fourth installment. I got more coming soon! I also have a Science Fiction story coming soon! I've been tapped as a horror writer, but I don't see myself like that at all...it's just my favorite genre. I can write in other genres such as fantasy like The Lost Empire! Thanks again for reading and please check out the 4th installment "The Flea Market!" And stay tuned for future installments! The quest for the Lost Empire is just beginning!

-CW