Pain and a Pen

Pain and a Pen

A Poem by William Liston
"

rhyming piece; similar to a kyrielle and ballade with internal rhyme

"
A poet heeds his aching needs;
if not, his heart would grow a hole.
His sorrow bleeds ... his spirit leads.
A poet's pen must bear his soul.

When pains emerge and lightnings surge
in violent storms he can't control,
there comes an urge to delve and purge.
A poet's pen must bear his soul.

He spills each word so cries unheard
can leak their blood upon a page.
His soul is stirred  a fiery bird
ascends its wings beyond pain's cage.
It's not mere ash from flaming rage,
but diamonds squeezed from blackest coal
that gleam their brilliance on a stage.
A poet's pen must bear his soul.

© 2017 William Liston


Author's Note

William Liston
Please leave an honest review. Constructive criticism is welcomed and encouraged. I would like to know if the repetition of masculine pronouns (although this piece is meant for both male and female poets) was distracting. I would also like to know if the lack of internal rhyme in the last four lines off-set the flow and/or readability in any way.

Special thanks to mattavelli for helping me edit this piece.

My Review

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Featured Review

Hello, William! :)
Eight syllable lines and a fun rhyme, I love it!
It looks like it was fun to write.
Your refrain hits like a hammer.
Suggestions:
In line two, replace "have" with something more pointed, like "grow".
While your thoughts are clear, your phrasing could use some tweaking where sections two and three meet.


Posted 3 Years Ago


3 of 3 people found this review constructive.

William Liston

3 Years Ago

Hello Matt :)

I'd like to thank you for your constructive review. I really enjoyed re.. read more



Reviews

It's funny that I should read this being I just reviewed a poem whose author released her feelings on the page in such a way.

Writing poetry--as I've said in the past in the lines of a poem--can be a bloodletting. A way of burning and writing while doing it.

Many lines here sing for ex: His soul is stirred ~ a fiery bird ascends its wings beyond pain's cage.

You have a gift for writing. I'm glad I can read some of it and enjoy it.

Relic

Posted 3 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

William Liston

3 Years Ago

Thank you for your kind words. I agree, writing and artistic expression in general can be a bloodlet.. read more
Beautiful writing! Amazing piece. This has that literary beauty as well as poetic depth in it. Well placed rhyming and rhythm. Flow is smooth through out this piece.
Pain and pen - I feel they have a relation like soul and mind. Especially for poets/ writers, pen acts as a releasing and coping mechanism when in pain. Pen is a writers weapon that can do wonders. A poet's pen must bear his soul otherwise words will cease to have that impact.Very deep and heart touching poem. I loved every single line of this write. Incredible writing, William. Keep up the good work.

Posted 3 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

William Liston

3 Years Ago

Gosh ... thank you so much for that lovely review. I'm glad you could feel the emotion in this piece.. read more
I love the rhyme and flow of your words. I don't think the change of internal rhyme in the last verse was distracting. Your words stand well on their own. It's a pleasure to read such amazing poetry. :) Julie

Posted 3 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

William Liston

3 Years Ago

Thank you for your kind review. I'm glad you enjoyed.
I liked the repetition of the line A poet's pen must bear his soul. Very beautifully written. Very true.

Posted 3 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

William Liston

3 Years Ago

Thank you. I'm glad you enjoyed.
Najam Us Saher

3 Years Ago

You're welcome
The rhythm of this, and the words!---drew me into this poem:

"His sorrow bleeds ... his spirit leads.
A poet's pen must bear his soul."

This is so very true, especially since each writer has a unique voice.

Posted 3 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

William Liston

3 Years Ago

Thank you for your kind words. I'm glad you enjoyed.
I don't think the masculine pronouns detract. It's a rather artful piece. With a clear powerful message. A few places tripped me up.

his heart would grow a hole
(sounds like forced rhyme)
splurge (my brain asks for purge here)

Two minor things thst stand out for me in such am ornate piece. Well penned.

Posted 3 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Shannon

3 Years Ago

I think it's the words leading up to it, growing a hole sounds way to simplistic or awkward, compare.. read more
William Liston

3 Years Ago

Understood. I'll see if I can come up with something better. Thank you for elaborating.
Shannon

3 Years Ago

No problem. I know you are always looking for constructive feedback. But actually, I couldn't articu.. read more
William, I really liked your poem very much. I liked the play of words you have used. And I really appreciate the lines, 'It's not mere ash from flaming rage,
but diamonds squeezed from blackest coal
that gleam their brilliance on a stage
A poet's pen must bear his soul.'
It has been beautifully carved. :)


Posted 3 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

William Liston

3 Years Ago

Thank you so much, Rimmee.
By the middle of the poem, I hear Hallelujah Chorus start to play, slowly elevating, then the triumphal end. I want to shout 'yeah!' for something so true to my heart being recorded in such a way. I can't Thank you enough for the read :) I.I.

Posted 3 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

William Liston

3 Years Ago

Thank you.
Isabella Ivy

3 Years Ago

You are most welcome :)
William, this is truly a poet's poem. You did a great job young man!

Posted 3 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

William Liston

3 Years Ago

Thank you.
I love this poem! Well written! So, so good :)

Posted 3 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

William Liston

3 Years Ago

Thank you. I'm glad you enjoyed.

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Shelved in 8 Libraries
Added on December 12, 2016
Last Updated on June 10, 2017
Tags: poetry, writing, pain, soul

Author

William Liston
William Liston

About
Get your own valid XHTML YouTube embed code I'm an amateur poet who's been writing for about three and a half years. Some of my influences include Edgar Alla.. more..

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