A Note in a Bottle Part II/The Man at the Bottom of The Sea

A Note in a Bottle Part II 

A Poem by Colton Warr

What's done is done

What's in the past is in the past

But thinking and missing you

Is something that I cannot get passed 

I shouldn't have said that 

It would haunt you to know 

I've been where you are 

When the sun sets you feel so alone 

I can see us losing blood 

Do you think that we are dead? 

Your answer means the world to me

Since that day, I have bled 

The waves crashed down upon me

Their whispers washing me away from you 

The weight of the sea was crushing

The darkness of the bottom, if only you knew

They say the sea vexes all men

Well perhaps that is the case

Would you like to know my vexing?  

Just a glimpse of your darling face 

 

The water was rushing in 

I had to abandon ship 

You may never forgive me 

That doesn't mean we still can't save it 

*****

The Man at the Bottom of The Sea 

A Poem by Colton Warr 

As my soul sinks to the darkest of depths 

My heart reaches out for you

Into my mind you have crept 

Entangling everything I once knew

As I look to the surface in hope 

My eyes see a shimmering sight

Into my abyss I go, how does one cope? 

You used to be my sizzling light 

There are sharks and all sorts of leviathans 

They encircle me as if welcoming me in 

The weight of my guilt matched along with the ocean 

It is at this moment that I wish to repent my sins 

Is this how it was always supposed to be? 

With all of these rocks and creatures, still I am lonely 

I am not dead but I cannot breathe 

I am The Man at the Bottom of The Sea 

 

Reviews

[dan]

Colton, The depth and scope of your imagery really brings this piece to life...then the emotional kick is delivered and we all realize how precious lives (and love) really is. Survivors' guilt is arguably one of the most potent types of grieving, the guilt weighing down rational thought and pushing the emotional aspect to the fore. This is such a great write, Colton, but I've come to expect nothing BUT the best from your pen. Thank you for sharing this with all of us! take care...dan

[Colton Warr]

Dan, I know I've told you this before, but your reviews are so inspirational and encouraging! Nothing but positive vibes! Thank you so much for your continuing support and encouragement! Again, its reviews like these that give me juice to keep going! I am so happy you liked this one! I was playing this one close to the chest, I've been feeling something like this lately below the surface of what I put out to people. This poem was a great release for me. Thank you so much for giving this one a read! It is always a pleasure and privilege to hear your feedback! Take care, Dan!

[Sesame]

Hello Colton,

Good job, especially the lines starting from 'the waves...' to '...you knew.' So many qualities can be attributed to the sea.

Regards, Sesame

[Colton Warr]

Thank you very much, my friend! I'm glad you liked this one! The sea is one of my favorite things to write about/relate to. Thank you for stopping by and giving this a read!

[O V Montoya]

Hmm... It sounds like you write from personal experience. I've been there. Its truly a forbidding place that seems to exist in a dimension all its own. Deeply moving.

[Colton Warr]

This is indeed from personal experience, my friend. Something I have been going through recently. You're beyond right, it is a place that seems to exist in a dimension all on its own. I'm glad you were able to relate and I'm happy that this moved you! Thanks for giving it a read!

[yvo miki]

Eck..I have a lot of read requests but cute poem

[Colton Warr]

Thank you so much, I appreciate you giving this a read!

[yvo miki]

Well ur Welcome u deserve it

[Michael G. Smith]

Not that's poetry my friend! I longed for every lost love reading it! I've written something in a similar vein. I'd appreciate if you reviewed it. The title is "Sea Hoary Mist".

[Colton Warr]

Thank you very much for the kind words, Michael! I appreciate you stopping by and giving this a read! I'm happy you enjoyed it! I will take a look a your piece right now!

[Lea Walker]

I love the way you write your poems, it was beautifully done once again.

[Colton Warr]

Thank you so much, Lea! I appreciate you saying that! I'm glad you liked it! Thanks for giving this one a read!

[TheWanderingPoet]

Very well versed! I like the emotion. You can feel it in your toes while you read this.

A little constructive criticism:

Watch your meter, the flow gets off a bit in places. When using rhyme, you have to be a bit more careful.
Also, keep an eye on spelling, a wrong word can pull focus away from the emotion.

Great job! I like the switch in rhyme pattern between poems!

[Colton Warr]

Thank you so much, my friend! I'm glad you liked this piece! I appreciate the constructive criticism, i'll look into improving those items in the near future! Thank you for reading!

[Lyndy]

Oh wow, beautiful poem and well written! :)

[Colton Warr]

Thank you very much, Lyndy! I'm glad you enjoyed it! Thanks for giving it a read!

[Vanesa Markovic]

I loved The Man at the Bottom of the Sea.
My whole heart can relate to his story, the loneliness, the guilt.
Beautiful.
-VM

[Colton Warr]

Thank you! That one was pretty close to my chest, I mean, they both are but that one in particular is a depiction of what I keep bottled up. I'm glad you liked this one, thanks for giving it a read!

[micky]

wow I really love this piece what a beautiful poem so heart rendering... :)

[Colton Warr]

Thank you very much, Micky! I'm glad you liked this one! Thank you for stopping by and giving it a read!

[R Smith]

the length and bredth of your work is the brilliance of a truly poetic mind, the story is one of fascination this man at the bottom of the sea with sharks and all sort of rocks and creatures, the lover who has lost the one and now disappears beneath the waves of despair and depression, a remarkable work Colton :)

[Colton Warr]

Thank you so much, Richard! Your words are always so kind and encouraging! I'm glad you enjoyed this piece! This one was pretty close to the chest for me. I appreciate your continuing support! Thanks for reading this one!