Chapter -01-

            I awoke to the sun floating in through the windowsill, shining down upon my face. As I glanced at my watch, I saw that it was eleven in the morning. Rolling over in bed, I smiled as I saw his bright brown eyes staring back into mine as he grinned back at me.

            “Good morning,” he whispered in a coarse voice before placing a kiss on my lips.

            Immediately my body reacted to that simple touch sending jolts through my body as memories of what happened the previous night made their way into my mind. I frowned when he removed his lips from mine.

            “So, what are the plans for today?” he asked while stretching out his arms above his head, making his muscles ripple in the process.

            “Well, since it’s a Saturday, we could just lie in bed all day,” I said as I began to press kisses along his collar bone, “or we can get up and face the day.”

            “As much as I would love to just lie here in bed with you all day,” he said while eyeing the blanket that covered up my bare body, “regretfully there are a couple things that I need to get done today.”

            “I can think of a couple things that should be done,” I teased playfully while nibbling on his neck as my hands started to roam over his body.

            Letting out a groan, his hand grabbed mine, stopping it from moving. His face took on a serious look as he softly stroked my cheek with his free hand.

            “I don’t get it. You’re so beautiful, so why are you wasting your time on me?”

            A stab of pain stung my heart as a frown found their way onto my lips. Was this his way of telling me that he didn’t want to hang out anymore? We weren’t an official couple, I guess you could say that we were more like friends with benefits. But still, the pain stung all the same.

            “Well fine, if you don’t want me ‘wasting my time’ on you, I guess I could just go out and find someone else to waste it on,” I ranted as I sat up and turned to get off the bed.

            “Hon, that’s not what I meant,” he groaned while reaching out his arm to softly grab a hold of my arm to prevent me from leaving the bed. He sat up, propping himself up on an elbow as he looked at me. “It’s just that I don’t get it. You, being here with me when you could be off with someone else who would make you so much more happier than I could.”

            “But why? Why do you think that I would be happier with someone else?” I asked as I turned back to face him.

            “Because I’m not good enough for you,” he said as he looked me in the eyes. I just sat there, not knowing what to say next as he ran a hand through his hair, trying to put the words he wanted to say together. “Nors, I told you when we first met that I was an absolute a*****e, and I mean that. I’m no good for you. You’re better off finding someone else.”

            “I don’t get it,” I whispered while shaking my head in disbelief.

            “Hon, please just hear me out. You’re an amazing woman who doesn’t deserve an a*****e like me. I’m bad in every sense of the word. I only want the best for you, and I know damn well that it’s not me,” he stated.

            “Don’t I get a say in this? What if being with you makes me happy? And how exactly are you bad? You’ve never even been an a*****e to me,” I argued.

            “Give me time. Everyone that I’ve known comes to think it eventually.”

            “Drew, it’s been what, about a lil over 6 months since we’ve met? Don’t you think that you would’ve shown your ugly side to me by now?” I reasoned.

            “Like I said, give me time. I know you don’t want to hear this, but I worry about you,” he said while stroking my hair.

            “Worry about me how?” I asked confused.

            “Because I want you to be happy. I don’t want you getting all hung up on me when you could find someone else. Hon, I know myself and I know that I’m not good enough for you. Please just trust me on this. I just want you to be happy,” he pleaded.

            “I promise that if I find a guy that makes me happy that I’ll pursue it. But can we please not talk about this anymore?” I asked on the verge of tears. I don’t know why I was about to cry since technically it wasn’t a fight, but it sure as hell felt like one. I didn’t like having this kind of feeling towards him, it just wasn’t right.

            I felt the bed shift under his weight and heard the rustle of the covers as he sat up more fully and moved over towards me, wrapping an arm around my shoulders as he pulled me up against his chest in a hug as he placed his head on top of mine.

            “I know it was hard for you to hear this, but it had to be said. Just remember, I’ll always be here if you need me. I’ll be whatever you need to me to be,” he whispered.

            I just nodded my head, afraid to speak because I knew that my voice would betray me as I tried to keep my tears at bay. It figures that it was all too good to be true, having this wonderful guy in my life and I can’t even really claim him because he thinks that he’s not good enough for me.

            How the hell are you supposed to prove something like that wrong? Usually it’s the other way around, hearing the guy tell you that he doesn’t want to be with you because he doesn’t think that you’re good enough for him. I had absolutely no clue how to deal with that sort of thing, being too good for someone that you care about.

            The warmth disappeared as he released me, the bed shifting under his weight once more as he moved to get off the bed. His feet shuffled around the carpet as he made his way to the dresser to get some clean clothes out. Not saying a word, his closed the drawers and then opened the bedroom door and made his way to the bathroom. A few seconds later the sound of water running let me know that he started the shower.

            I sat on the edge of the bed, my feet dangling off the side not quite touching the carpet as I thought over what I should do. Even though we didn’t technically have a fight, there was no way that I could be around him at this point in time.

            Gathering my clothes up, I got dressed and then looked for a piece of paper so that I could leave him a note to let him know what I was doing. After grabbing my keys, with one last look around his apartment I walked out, unsure of the next time I would be back there. In the back of my mind there was a voice telling me that I was definitely overreacting to the situation at hand, but I knew that space was a good thing right now.

            Later on as I was driving down the road in my car, I had a hard time trying to keep my focus as the tears slowly crept their way down my face. It was a good thing that I never wore make-up because then I wouldn’t have to worry about it running and then dolling myself up all over again. That’s just not my style.

            Once I reached my apartment complex, I just sat there in my car blankly staring at the building while getting lost in my thoughts. I needed to find something to do today, anything really, that would keep my mind off of the morning’s events.

            With a burst of clarity, a brilliant idea popped into my head. Just like he said earlier, I need to find someone else since he only wants what’s “best” for me. If he wanted me to find someone new, that’s exactly what I was going to do, consequences be damned.

            Getting out of my car, I took my phone out as I strode to the building, eager to put my newly thought out plan into motion. I couldn’t exactly pull this off by myself, so I was going to enlist in the help of a few close friends.

            “Hey Dee, that you?” I asked into the phone as I heard a very sleepy “hello” from the other end of the phone.

            “Yes it is,” she said with a yawn. “What can I do ya for?”

            “Are you busy tonight?” I asked while unlocking the door that lead into my apartment.

            “I don’t think so. Why, what’s up?” she asked, curiosity getting the better of her.

            “Because tonight, we’re going to have a girl’s night.”