Fragility

For Katie McKenzie and Jessica Thrasher, may you rest in peace.

Like a drop of rain in the wind,
Like a fish in the ocean,
Like a spark in the darkness,
A clock ticks without motion.

Like a diamond in mountains,
Like a tree in the forest,
Like a cloud in the sky,
The choir sings without chorus.

Like a shard of glass from a window,
Like a torn page from a book,
Like a burnt home in a field,
A life; one more look.

Like red candlewax melted,
Like flame turned to ice,
Like pond ripples at midnight,
The devil grins twice.

Like a gemstone buried,
Like an hourglass shifted,
Like a mirrors reflection,
A perspective twisted.

Like a star in the universe,
Like a planet in space,
Like a crater on the moon,
Life is a race,
is a race,
is a race.
And some leave too soon.

-klbeaudry

Reviews

[Doreen]

A bit redundant, but touching. I was reminded of John Denver when I read this.

[Lorame]

Hmm...this was interesting. I can relate to what it says.
It kind of seemed that the rhythm became slightly redundant as the reader got towards the end. But, I do think that each stanza you have is saying something important; that each adds to the piece and..kind of builds up to the last one. So, it works. I like this.

[Miss Coral]

I would think about changing the second "diamond", as it was somewhat distracting, having already been used. Otherwise, I thought this was beautifully written, and was a wonderful tribute. Brilliant piece.

-Coral-

[Ruth]

Beautifully voiced love, as always :)
A glow in the darkness, a remarkable dance with sombre shadows :)
Stunning!
xx

[qaralynn]

beautiful poem..love it!

[PadfootBlack]

This is beautiful, sir.
Simply wonderful, touching. Great job. This would make a good song.

[BreedsWithDragons]

nice flow. booyah achieved.

[LeeLee Ryder]

Fragility has loads of wonderful imagery throughout ... Life is fragile and whether we run the gambit of a spark or a blaze throughout our lives, we all make our mark on others and your tribute to these two ladies prove that ... Bravo, KL ...100%
LLR

[loowzerX]

beautiful.

[vincentbals]

Beautiful poem.

"Like a diamond buried,
Like an hourglass shifted,
Like a mirrors reflection,
A perspective twisted."

Is my favourite stanza.It's so deep, yet so true. I simply love those words.

Damn, this is great. Going in to favourites.

Thanks for sharing this.

Vincent.