At 7 Years Old

At 7 Years Old

A Poem by Crazy Cat Man

 

 

At 7 Years Old

I was beaten till I shed blood

At 7 Years Old

I was beaten till I shed no tears

At 7 Years Old

I was told to pray to God

At 7 Years Old

I was beaten while praying to God

At 7 Years Old

I learned not to cry

At 7 Years Old

I learned to not give a s**t why

At 7 Years Old

I was beaten cold

At 7 Years Old

I learned to keep it all in

At 7 Years Old

I learned to cry from within

At 7 Years Old

I hated myself

At 7 Years Old

I wanted to kill myself

At 7 Years Old

I became numb

At 7 Years Old

I thought I was dumb

At 7 Years Old

I thought everything I did was wrong

 

Just trying to read I got beat

Just trying to pray I got beat

 

At 17 Years Old

I was wild

At 17 Years Old

I did not give a f**k

At 17 Years Old

All I did was f**k

At 17 Years Old

I didn't know right from wrong

At 17 Years Old

I didnt care right from wrong

At 17 Years Old

I became numb to pain

At 17 Years Old

I started to inflict pain

At 17 Years Old

I started it all again

At 17 Years Old

I needed to restrain

At 17 Years Old

I didn't know who to blame

At 17 Years Old

I was ashamed

At 17 Years Old

I thought I was a shame

At 17 Years Old

I tried to change

At 17 Years Old

I hated even my own name

 

But why is the pain still there?

Why isn't my life fair?

 

At 27 Years Old

I still feel the same

At 27 Years Old

I still carry the pain

At 27 Years Old

I'm trying to understand why

At 27 Years Old

I still wanted to die

At 27 Years Old

I'm wondering am I sane?

At 27 Years Old

Am I going insane?

At 27 Years Old

I found out that I did nothing wrong

At 27 Years Old

I didn't speak for so long

At 27 Years Old

I found out that it wasn't my fault

At 27 Years Old

I found out that it was "HE" who was insane

At 27 Years Old

I am making a stand

At 27 Years Old

I know I would be a better man

 

Than "HE" who laid a hand

on a poor 7 year old boy

© 2010 Crazy Cat Man


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Featured Review

So true, and glad there's a follow-up with a realization in this. Adults can influence the young in many ways, and not all of them are good. Luckily some of us realize who the ones are who were really wrong. I like the repetition in this which helps get the point across (from child to adult). The sad thing is that this is probably true for thousands...

At 27 Years Old
I found out that it wasn't my fault
At 27 Years Old
I found out that it was "HE" who was insane
At 27 Years Old
I am making a stand
At 27 Years Old
I know I would be a better man

Cheers for this,
Stacy

Posted 16 Years Ago


4 of 4 people found this review constructive.




Reviews

This is too deep and intense for any words to due it justice. You poured your' heart out as you penned this. I could feel your' pain, and I am so sorry. You express your' thoughts and feelings as only a masterful Poet can. Thank you for sharing this with us all...Hugz...Jillian

Posted 16 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

I love this and hate this all at the same time. I was a victim of child abuse myself and went through all the same things as I grew up. I too have learned that it wasnt me but it was my abusers fault that things happened the way that they did. It rings bells of truth for many of us. Thats why I say I hate it as it does remind me of all the children (and the ones that have grown to adulthood facing these memories.) out there that suffer every day. Its a mess out there in this world and all we can do is what we can to help and try to make the world a better place. Excellent work!

Posted 16 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

This is so strong.
I just love it.

Posted 16 Years Ago


Wow, this is truly amazing. It really is sad how some children think it's their fault. People like that should go to jail forever. You really put some heart into it.
Good write.
CC

Posted 16 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

...my gosh...i heart this ...my fav now...

Posted 16 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

You broke my heart with this. My children were abused by their father and I can't really fatham the way they are both hard, cold and strong while being broken, shame-filled, and filled with self-doubt. The hardest part from an outsider viewpoint is not knowing what to do or say that can help - Maybe excepting the fact that there isn't anything to do or say that CAN help. Getting my kids away from their father once I understood what was happening was all I could do. It really wasn't enough. Complex, sad topic. My heart goes out to you. You did a great job of getting the feelings - hurt, damage, numbness - across realistically. "At 27 Years Old, I found out that it was "HE" who was insane. At 27 Years Old, I am making a stand. At 27 Years Old, I know I would be a better man Than "HE" who laid a hand on a poor 7 year old boy." Starkly shocking, touching your heart in the most tender places, well-written, and shows a hell of a lot of inner-strength and intelligence on your part. I'll check out the YouTube link above.



Posted 16 Years Ago


In the work I do, especially in the hospital, I sometimes see young children who have been so damaged by abuse that I fear their lives can never be repaired. You speak with the voice of those children, though some may never even get to the point of angry rebellion, may stay forever confused, violent and afraid. Well done.

David

Posted 16 Years Ago


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O!
Childhood is such an important part of anybody's life........ppl say forget about the past and stop blaming ur parents etc.........but that is where the 'basis' is to the becoming of the real u today........

You were just so good in this poem coz you've written it how the mind works, the thought process...what is said.......

am sure this will impact all readers...

Thank you 'sweet person'..xxx

O! :-)

Posted 16 Years Ago


Wow, this is one hell of a write. There is so much pain in this, i like how it realized that it's not all the fault of the child. I like the repeation of the phrases, it makes the piece flow and really hammers in the point.
Very powerful!
kates

Posted 16 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.


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Added on February 7, 2008
Last Updated on March 2, 2010

Author

Crazy Cat Man
Crazy Cat Man

New York, NY



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