Chants

I really like your story, and the plot is super interesting. I'd definitely like to read on from where you've got to so far. My only critique is that, in my opinion, you're taking the story a little bit too fast. I think that I'd like to see a little bit more description - say about the actions throughout dialogue, the surroundings, etc. And that Cami finding this new world and it developing is happening a little bit too quickly. But I think that all depends on what sort of a writer you are, and you may be one of those people who like to keep the reader extremely hooked by chucking everything at them, so keep dong what you're doing :)

Posted 6 Years Ago

I really like your story, and the plot is super interesting. I'd definitely like to read on from where you've got to so far. My only critique is that, in my opinion, you're taking the story a little bit too fast. I think that I'd like to see a little bit more description - say about the actions throughout dialogue, the surroundings, etc. And that Cami finding this new world and it developing is happening a little bit too quickly. But I think that all depends on what sort of a writer you are, and you may be one of those people who like to keep the reader extremely hooked by chucking everything at them, so keep dong what you're doing :)

Posted 6 Years Ago

I love this story! It's a great story and leaves you wanting to read more and more. Furthermore, the setting descriptions evoke a vivid image of the protagonist's surroundings. Try to focus on describing other aspects of the story eg. the speech

Posted 7 Years Ago