Bipolar 2

Perspective from one with bipolar who is unable to be medicated due to poor health

I love bipolar; I hate bipolar!
Love, hate relationship with my brain, it's unexplainable, and unimaginable to most.
Obessed with my favorite hobbies for weeks to months at a time, then no interest at all.
My pillow conversates with me (one-sided of course)
I'm not talking to myself.
I interpret what I think my pillow would say if it were real, as if it knew what I was saying to begin with.
Most interesting and intelligent conversation I've had all week though.
Then I burst into tears and cry and cry;
The worst thing about being sad is that it is unexplainable. (Because I can that's why!)
Shy, quite, insecure, unloveable, scared, fearful and unconfident but quite happy with myself.
My spirit was crushed recently my small tiny dog of 8 years vanished into thin air.
I couldn't stop crying I spoke not a word.
Then my mentor said, 'it's just a fucken dog get over it!'
I wanted to cry, yell, and scream but I was as silent as a lamb.
Ashamed of my feeling I remained silent, the hurt pierced my heart.
A kitten then fell into my lap the following week (my mentor gave him to me) I'm happy, I'm all smiles, content, overjoyed, compassionate, kind and as peachy as can be.
He's as bipolarish as I am, we're a perfect match. He's the kitten version of me
I'm happy finally😊

Author's Note

What do you think of the poem bipolar 2?

Reviews

[...]

That's quiet avallanche here. I like your positive approach of this sensitive theme. Also how you describe every aspect of to be bipolar. It's must be very crucial to experience it when you are completly down and you don't want to do anything. Your experience are quiet hard and rough. This is very excelent poem and very strong personal message.

[Leo]

I enjoyed reading your poem Crystal, very smooth and touching. I'm a bipolar man for 12 years now and had my fair share of self-battle. My two cents: lithium is probably the gr8test meds invention of all time but kidney are at stake. Lamictal is considered to be safe provided you watch out for rash..if you pass the rash stage you are good..im no Dr. just sharing my experience.. I've come to realize that BP is just like cancer, you gotta befriend it - otherwise, it eats you alive and possibly swallow those around you..glad you are happy with the kitty :)

[John the Baptist]

I used to work with many people who had the various types of bipolar disorder. Most of the time, if they complied with their medication regime, they were better off than those with schizophrenia, but it was never easy for them. I wish you continued success in dealing with the illness. Keep writing.

PS: What kind of mentor would say "It's just a fucken dog"?

[Crystal18]

What kind of mentor she is a recovery support specialist (RSS) and probably not a animal person.

[Leo]

yeah I was thinking the same haha