Rapture

What happens after the rapture?

The world moves beneath my feet,

As I walk up this lonely street,

The sky cracks open and rains fire,

Thunder roars like an unholy choir,

The rest of humanity has gone to the sky,

Alone on earth I wait to die,

I stand high on a hill and look around,

Fiery brimstone engulfs the ground,

Winged beasts risen from the depths of hell,

Fly and play and swoop and yell,

The world is here, ripe for the taking,

A curtain close 4000 years in the making,

The world burns and is crushed by the hoard,

The only one missing is the dark lord,

Hell’s army turns towards my hill,

I stand, waiting for my blood to spill,

I look up and see the legion kneeling,

I am overcome by a dark feeling,

The leader stands and walks towards me,

He is holding something that I cannot see,

As he nears I make out what’s between his palms,

A horned helmet, Satan’s coat of arms,

It is placed on my head and the crowd goes wild,

I stand before them, a frightened child,

“How can we serve you, oh great dark one?”

I want to turn on my heel and run,

But I stay, far too curious to go,

What’s going on? I don’t really know,

I suddenly remember the things I have seen,

The lives I’ve lived and the places I’ve been,

I once led an army against the almighty lord,

I tried to take God’s power with a sword,

“Show me Heaven, where the rest of man went,

From which I was barred because I wouldn’t repent”,

“Very well, lord” he grants me a vision,

Of a once perfect world scarred by derision,

It looks quite like another, newer earth,

Humanity’s ‘perfection’ is the world of their birth,

I see them creating dogma anew,

So the beliefs of the many can be forced on the few,

Their faith creates a perfect world above,

A house for God and his infinite love,

“The cycle repeats and will break never,

Man won’t truly reach heaven, ever,

The kingdom of God will always be higher,

And man’s world will be destroyed by fire,

The here, the there, the in between,

So shall it be, so has it been”,

I look at the hell beast, thoroughly shocked,

I pity the pious, who I once mocked,

For they will never reach their promised land,

I look at my armies, sigh, and stand,

“Take us to Heaven, to God’s domain,

And we will try to end this cycle of pain”,

The commander smiles and weaves a spell,

To take us from this newly made hell,

We arrive in a world of utter perfection,

A place not in need of a single correction,

“Lucifer, you have returned home at last,

Can you stay with me and forget the past?

The kingdom needs your holy light,

To banish ignorance from our sight,

We need your torch, burning brilliant and bold,

To teach humans to keep the perfection they hold,

To stop them from destroying yet another place,

In an eternally looped heaven-chase,

I smile, having found my lost love,

I remember that God is not above,

God is in everything, one and all,

From the unthinkably great to impossibly small,

With my faith returned, light starts to flow,

It spews into this world and all below,

It banishes hate, ignorance and fear,

It reminds everyone that love is always near.

Reviews

[Anatar]

On mechanics and length alone: kudos. Rhyme is a bit tired after the bulk goes by, and seems very...elementary. Also, religion and the thought of being left for the rapture has been beaten like a redheaded step-child; though not always presented as this is, it remains a bad taste if only in name. In all, it shows promise and is entertaining to say the least, but not for the connoisseur. By all means, it is a good place to start and not a bad read for aesthetics alone.

[justmercedes]

There are some good ideas here, but the rhyme is pedestrian and the rhythm falters. Keep trying!

[Omri F.K]

As I have said before, you have some kind of power in your writing.
I really enjyoed the song, and easpecilly the verse
"I smile, having found my lost love,
I remember that God is not above,
God is in everything, one and all,
From the unthinkably great to impossibly small,"
I think that catches the glimpse of hope for the future all of us have.

[Chaoscaine]

I have to admit that this is rather my sort of literature. I like the twist and the thought, and the fact your main character speaks as a person rather than a stick-figure like most writers build in prose-style poems... I must tip my hat to you, it's brilliant.