Chapter 1

Fifteen year old Skylar is living on a spaceship after a genetic experiment gone wrong ended human deterioration and consequently most deaths by natural causes.

    I woke to the sun bright and burning my eyes. Squinting at first, I tried to force myself from the sleep induced haze by wrenching my eyes open against my every instinct. I took me a few minutes to realize that it was not the sun that had blinded me but the lights that cover the ship's ceiling supposed to imitate the natural lighting on earth at any given time of day. I understand the appeal but even on earth one could control the light within one's living quarters. 
    I checked my watch it was noon and the artificial sun burned like the ever burdening false hope of seeing the real sun again. It's so strange to remember being a child on my fathers shoulders at a park rays of sun peeked from behind clouds touching my hands and warming me as a clutched his face in what must've been an uncomfortable fashion, one of my few memories of home. I use the word "home" loosely that was a decade ago, though everyone refers to that place as home it's a distant memory. 
    "Good evening." I heard my fathers voice startling me.
"would you like to join me for lunch in the cafeteria?" He asked like we have options as to where we eat. 
    "Pass." I grunted.
    "Alright." He accepted and left without another word. As he walked out and I heard the swish of the airlock behind him I rolled over to look at the wall. It would be a plain steel wall had they not tried to decorate in with blue and white enamel in a sort of scyfyesque  pattern, resulting something tacky and entirely impractical.
    I got out of bed and tried or pretend that I didn't sleep half the day. I brushed my teeth and hair and put my hair back up in a high ponytail. I grabbed my PDA I had messages from my friends asking where I was, I read them all and slid my PDA in my pocket. I made my bed and sent my dirty clothes to the laundry via a chute labeled by size since everyone wore the same things you just picked up a weeks worth of clothes in your size every Monday from the bins and sent them down the chute as you used them.
    When I finally reach the cafeteria the food that I get is cold. It's a sort of unpleasant plant matter, it's not too bad when it's warm, but when cold it really has no redeeming qualities. We can only eat what we can grow and all the left over food is "returned to the soil" a process I don't understand. I eat a few bites, then slide it around on my plate, it's green and smells like compost, I force it down, and sit for a moment in disgust.
    There are only a few people left in the cafeteria most everyone has moved about to their daily activities which is fortunate because although the cafeteria is a large room it wasn't built to hold the thousand or so people who live on this ship at once and there is no food allowed outside the designated area. The walls here are the same pattern and material as the walls in the living quarters only they are red instead of blue. There were tables and benches along either wall and down the middle of the room bolted to the ground in case of turbulence. Which seems lazy to me all we have to do on the ship is learn and work so why go out of your way to eliminate as much of it as possible, people will get bored and start hunting each other for sport like is the novel I read last summer. The seasons of corse are dependent on months here because while the earth went around the sun the seasons determined by its position in orbit there is no orbit on the ship, no sun, only the sad fluorescent imitation. Everything on the ship is organic with the exception to the outer shell which is built to withstand anything space could throw at us short of a black hole without getting as much as a scratch. The advantage of the organic ship as opposed to the other suggested designs is that it's self repairing and creates an atmosphere providing us with oxygen without the fear of a shortage. 
    A defining buzz came from the intercom, pulling me back from deep thought, and then a voice "There will be a broadcast at 6:45," the voice said in an accent vaguely British. "Everyone is expected to meet in the auditorium attendance is mandatory." There was a soft crackling and then silence.
    Once sometimes twice a month there was a broadcast meant to update us on the situation back "home" and assure us that it won't be long now. They always started and ended the same way by reminding us how it all started and telling us how close they were to a solution. I like a lot of us lost hope a long time ago, it had been a decade and there were nine ships like this one between earth and Jupiter. They made a big show of us passing the place where mars would be, if it wasn't on the other side of the sun at the time, since we were the first humans to be out this far since the Mars landing went so terribly wrong stranding a six man crew on the red planet.
    I decided to take a shower before the broadcast. Just before I got in I heard my PDA buzz, There was a message from my father "meet me by the auditorium doors at 6:00." He really took these seriously, he was always saying how close there were and talking about genetic breakthroughs, it all went straight over my head, I was much better at history than I'd ever be at biology.
    When I got out of the shower it was three o'clock. I got dressed in the standard black t-shirt and black cargo pants. They are made of resilient materials and were intended to last us until we we're allowed return home. Everyone had to wear them but no one referred to them as a uniform. I wore my wet hair down so that it would dry. It hung in loose waves, around my face and neck, wetting my shirt in patches just below my shoulders. I decided to read while I was waiting I was taking a twenty-first century literature class. I've always liked classics, though English hasn't changed much in the past five hundred years the style and subject matter has changed a lot, not that people have a ton of  time for fiction composition anymore what with the whole crisis and all.
    There was a knock on the door and then then the swish of the airlock, I wished for the millionth time that there were locks. "Skylar?" someone shouted from our living room.
    I seriously considered pretending not to be there, I had just enough time to take a nap before the broadcast. I knew that Meredith would make her way in here eventually, and there was no point in insulting her intelligence by pretending I didn't hear her. "In here!" I shouted, sitting up on my bed. A second later my bedroom door opened.
    "Josh and Xavier and I are going for a walk in the gymnasium before the broadcast to get our fitness credit for the week. Xavier insisted that I come get you so that you 'won't have to do it alone later' or something" she rambled a bit, but that was just how she talked, long and animated, it was one of the reasons I liked her.
    "Okay." I said, "Are we meeting them there?" 
    "Actually they're waiting outside," she said flashing me an apprehensive smile, "Josh insisted that it would be easier"
    "Typical." I groaned. I always hated it when they stood and waited outside my door it made me feel rushed but I hated it more when they let themselves in. I threw on my shoes and pulled my still damp hair into a high ponytail and fallowed Meredith out into the hall.
    Right as we stepped into the hall Xavier shoved Josh into the wall. "Watch it if you get to many marks for conduct and they'll jettison you out the waste canal!" Josh threatened, jokingly.
    "What waste canal? Even human waste is turned into compost here! It's no wonder the food sucks." Xavier retorted, trying not to sound unnerved, he already had several marks and the handbooks were unclear about punishments. 
    "Excuse us!" Meredith rather unflatteringly announced our presence.  
    "Huh?" Josh mumbled, he always looked at Meredith like he was seeing her for the first time and the last time like he was trying to take her all in, just in case. She seemed oblivious to this, I wondered sometimes weather or not Josh was even consciously aware of just how his face fell into peaks of golden awe as he looked at her.
    "Let's go," I said breaking the silence that was spilling over into awkward, "We won't have time to walk if we don't hurry." 
    Josh cleared his throat, as we all started to walk. Moments later Xavier fell into step beside me, he nudged my arm and raised his eyebrows whist simultaneously flicking his head in the direction of Josh and Meredith, already deep in conversation ahead of us. I rolled my eyes to let him know I'd seen it too, we'd mastered this sort of nonverbal communication, it made things easier neither of us really liked talking and we both knew that when we did talk it was important, and if either if us needed to talk the other was there to listen. We walked silently down the maze of checkpoints and airlocks until we finally rounded the last corner toward the gymnasium it was a good five minute walk from my living quarters. We all had to scan our IDs so that it could log our fitness times we had to do three hours every week. I checked my watch we had about hours before I needed to meet my dad, so we'd still have to comeback at later in the week to get full credit, but all we had to do was walk everything else was optional so it isn't too bad with company.
    The gymnasium is a large high-ceilinged room room divided by windowed walls into parts, a weight room filled with gym equipment machines that everyone is taught to use when they turn thirteen. Basketball court, and multi purpose room used for different types of workout programs. On a raised platform around the top of the gymnasium is a track for walking. It is reached by a staircase or an elevator, but if your not injured and you take the elevator you are penalized with either two extra hours of required fitness credit or eight hours of work duty, depending on how clean your record is.
    We take the stairs two at a time only stopping to breathe when we reach the top. The best part of using the track on broadcast day is that you get the ESS (environmental simulation system) all to yourself, you get to pick a theme and a series of projectors speakers and fans create a sensory environment  with sights, smells, temperature, and in some a breeze or even full on wind. The ESS is the only "unnecessary" luxury that we have on the ship. All of our personal property is in storage lockers with our names on them, except for one small thing we were allowed to carry on.
    "Which setting are we using?" Asked Josh, staring passively at the touchpad. You had to choose a theme location season and time of day so that the ESS could create an environment to your exact specifications.
    "Forest path, mountains, and autumn, midday." Meredith stated as if it were obvious. She always knew what she wanted and seemed to make people feel like they were always one step behind.
    As Josh tapped in the settings the ship seemed to dissolve around us. Suddenly there was an infinite expanse of sky above us, birds chirped in nearby trees, a stream bubbled along in the distance, leaves of orange and yellow drifted down from trees obscuring the sunlight in patches as they fell, instantly the air felt cooler, and everything smelled clean and fresh but not chemically clean like laundry more like a brand new clean like the air just after a heavy rain. I close my eyes and take a deep breath, trying to make it real, when I open them we're walking. Meredith's red hair and freckles look right at home amongst the reds and golds of autumn. She dances when she walks causing her red hair to look even more like fire. 
    We walk side by side for several minutes, talking but not really listening to each other. I check my PDA it's 3:45 the time is passing slowly, less from anticipation and more from longing to get it over with. 
    "I'm going to get some water." Meredith announced. 
    "I'll walk with you?" Josh said, though I don't know that he meant for it to sound like a question. 
    "Okay." Meredith said only momentarily confused, then she turned toward the exit marked only by a glowing sign the door itself disguised completely by the projected image. 
    They disappeared into the forest leaving Xavier and I standing alone amongst the falling leaves. He gestures for me to walk with him shaking his too long black hair from his green-brown eyes. I fall into step beside him trying to match his long stride but having to take two steps for every one of his.
    "Talk to me Red." He smiled, he only ever smiled with half his mouth, letting his eyes and dimples do all the work.
    "It's not even red anymore." I protested. 
    "I know," he said to the ground "but I liked it."
    "That's too bad." I said shaking my head just enough to move my ponytail.
    There's a hair salon on the ship and the lady that works in there had brought red hair dye with her as her one item on the ship, she was seventeen when she got on the ship, and like most everyone she grew up and that item became a reminder of how different things are here, she gave it to me for my thirteenth birthday. She was a friend of my fathers they met his senior year of high school she was a freshmen she had started early. 
    I felt a hand on my arm, Xavier pulled me around to look at him."Nostalgia," he said making sure to focus his green-brown eyes directly on mine, "gives the past power over present and is therefore the enemy." It's like he reads my mind.
    "Philosophy is opinion." I said unable to hold his gaze for more than a moment, "Besides it helps to remember that there used to be better days I fuels the hope for will be." When I looked back up he was smiling.
    "But really talk to me" he started to walk sliding his hand down my holding tight to my hand, trying to rein in his voice. I'd heard this tone before. "Are you worried?" He asked
    "No. I don't bother to worry anymore. I don't bother to hope either" I said.
    He looked at the trees for a long time searching them for an answer "The representatives look nervous." He stated finally. "They know something."
    "We'll find out tonight." I reassured him. Before he could respond Josh came up behind us
    "Umm..." Josh muttered. Xavier's faces was pink, he was still holding my hand. He relinquished his grip immediately. I caught Meredith's eye she was smiling, she was going to be in sufferable. 
    "We should definitely start walking now." She said holding back a giggle, not a laugh, she didn't think it was funny she thought it was adorable.
    As we started to walk Meredith grabbed my arm letting me know in her usual way that I was walking with her. "I knew it!" She said as soon as we were a little ways from Josh and Xavier. "Sky, why didn't you tell me!"
    "There's nothing to tell," which was true, I liked Xavier sure but so did everyone else. "It was just a misunderstanding."
    "Sure." She said, I knew she didn't believe me and I she wouldn't leave me alone.
    "What about you and Josh!" I used her silence to tun the conversation away from me.
    "If there was anything to tell you'd be the first to know." She said indignantly. She was trying to make me feel guilty, but I told her the truth my conscious was clear. 
    "I going to run a lap." I said.
    "Okay." she said stopping so that Xavier and Josh would catch up to her. I ran around to the door and say on a bench just outside to catch my breath the cool air from the forest made it difficult to adjust to the regular temperature of the ship, my skin felt cool to the touch but my body felt like it was on fire.
    I had just enough time to catch my breath when the door opened, Xavier sat down beside me on the bench beside me  and closed his eyes leaning back his face was red from running. "It's going to be alright, you know." I said to him. "Even if we're on this ship forever I don't know that it would be so bad. It's all we've really known."
    "That's the thing he replied it is all we've ever known so what if do go 'home'?" He asked. "It means that people die, Skylar, are we ready for that are any of us?" I didn't say anything to this and we both knew why because it was the truth that no one really faced head on people were going to die, and a lot of them, before this was over. Silence with Xavier was rarely awkward his warmth and demeanor make everything feel comfortable, but this was different the silence seemed to know something we didn't.
    "We should walk." I said. "I don't want to give Meredith any more reason to question my relationship status any further." At this he smiled.
    "Status report." He said teasingly leaning toward my face until his nose was just centimeters from mine, I caught myself not breathing, as he smiled.
    "Nonexistent." I replied as he pulled away, a braver person that me might have said something else. He helped me up from the bench. And we rejoined Josh and Meredith on the track. 
    "What time do you have to meet your dad?" Meredith asked.
    "Six." I said, "I won't be able to finish my fitness hours today, they lift curfew on broadcast days so I'll come back tonight and get it over with." 
      Xavier looked at me silently asking if he could join me, I nodded. I know he loves to use the ESS at night he said that seeing the stars during the day is cheating and given the lack of windows on the ship he's not the only one who thinks so, in fact there's only one window on the whole ship a skylight that opens and closes over the auditorium. We walked for a while longer Meredith and Josh talked and I watched the leaves drift down steadily and tried to imagine a place just like this but one you could touch and explore, sometimes I wished we would go "home" though I knew it was selfish. 
    I checked my PDA 5:30, "I better go I said I need to run by my room before I meet my dad."
    "I'll walk with you," Xavier volunteered.
    "You don't have to," I said "I'll be fine"
    "Of corse you will." He said, "Don't be ridiculous, I want to."
    "Fine" I said. "Come on, the auditorium is a fifteen minute walk from my room, and my dad will flip if I'm late."
    We walked in silence back to mine and my father's living quarters. I invited him inside. "I'll be right back" I said and ran into my room leaving him standing in my living room. I grabbed the jacket from under my bed it's black like the rest of the standard wardrobe, and the auditorium is always cooler than the rest of the ship. "Okay" I said emerging from my room wearing my jacket that's just a size too large. "Let's go"
    By the time we got to the auditorium it was five minutes till six, I found my dad pacing by the auditorium doors. My dad smiled when he saw me clearly relieve that I showed up, I already had three marks for missing broadcast the last time I got four hours of work duty, but I decided then that missing an hour broadcast wasn't worth the extra four hour of labor added to the mandatory four. "Glad you could make it." Dad said only a little sarcastically. 
    "I found the time." I replied 
    "We should find a seat there are already at least a hundred people in there" as we started through the doors I motioned for Xavier to join us, he smiled like he'd been waiting for an invitation. The auditorium is a high ceilinged room, across the front of the room is a raised platform where the ships representatives sit during broadcast and a giant projector screen above the platform, it was built to house roughly fifteen-hundred people so the hundred people my dad was concerned about really didn't make a difference.
    "This is the one," my dad said "I just know it, we're going home." My dad is the only person I know that doesn't say "home" sarcastically.
    "Don't put all your eggs in one basket, Dad it's a slow process that's what you told me." I said
    "Yes, but they're so incredibly close to an answer, so any day could be the day." I knew that there was no point in arguing with him
    "Your a smart man, Mr. Merrick, what made you choose the ship instead of the movement?" Xavier asked. 
    "At the time Xavier," my dad said thoughtfully, "I'd have done anything to get away from there." Xavier knew when to be quiet, thank God for that. My mother died shortly before the launching of the first ship, all I know is that she fell off a building and my dad's way of coping with it was to pack up our whole lives and leave the planet. My dad never talks about her and I know better than to ask. 
    At this point the auditorium was nearly full. The sounds of voices grew to a roar as each person fought to be heard over the people next to them, you'd have to shout to hear yourself think let alone hear anyone else, but as soon as the lights dimmed all conversation ceased. On the projection screen appeared the president of the world union. He stared out over the crowd for a long moment as if waiting for the pin to drop that would solidify the silence that was already suffocating. 
    "I'm sure you've all been eagerly awaiting an update so I'll try to make this fast." He started, "As you all know in roughly the year twenty seventy three, a geneticist by the name of Robert Scott who's mother was gravely ill started experimenting with jellyfish to battle and cure degenerative diseases and prolong overall human life. His experiments were successful and after extensive testing administered to a widespread population of all ages. He saved his mothers life and the lives of millions of other people, but as time progressed the damage cause by is experiments with cellular regeneration became significant. People are thought to be fully developed at the age of twenty five, but as a direct result of Scott's experiment people stopped aging completely at thirty which before said point was the age that the body was thought to begin its decline. It seemed like just another win for Scott and his team, then people stopped dying of natural causes, we were immune to most major diseases, cancer was obliterated entirely and there was no degeneration to speak of. When this became evident to the general population people started to test the limits of their new found immortality, this was disastrous it should have been obvious but people could still be damaged beyond repair without the help of disease hundreds of thousands of people died. Just over five hundred years had passed since Scott's experiment the world was thrust into poverty people were starving the earth could not sustain the population. When a young rocket scientist and engineer, Elijah Dale, submitted designs that he'd been working on for a space cruiser he had several the best of which was a self repairing organic model. It was suggested that people volunteer to be sent into space in order to return the earth to a sustainable population. Since the start of this project ten ships like the one your on have been sent out and experiments have been put in place to reverse the damage, all of which have been unsuccessful." As he finished the story he cleared his throat and looked out over the crowd, and the something different happened something that never had before, he smiled. "Now on the the good news."
    "Good news?" Several people whispered in unison.
    "As our test with the jellyfish became successful we moved on to rats and then pigs and finally apes, we believe after extensive testing that we are ready to conduct human trials." He paused letting the words 'human trials' settle in amongst the crowd, no one said anything no one even seemed to be breathing. "We have decided after intense debate amongst both your representatives and the great states representatives that the best grounds for testing both for observation and administration would be the space cruisers that are already in place. Participation in the trials will be entirely voluntary, no one under the international consenting age of eighteen will be allowed to participate, take note though that once you have opted in you will  under no circumstances related to the trials or otherwise be allowed to drop out. All of the known risks will be presented to you before you sign the agreement and you do so at your own risk. A team of scientist will be arriving on each ships, sometime in the next week or two, to administer the cures and record the progress. We hope that you take the time before their arrival to weigh the benefits of your person participation against the risks, keep in mind the ends justify the means. That will be all for this broadcast we hope to see you home soon." The screen went black and the lights came back on in an instant. For the longest time no one moved no one spoke. 'The ends justify the means' rang through the room like a gunshot, people are going to die and the world will reap the benefits, but what if there are none what if killing even in the name of humanity is a vain practice. When people finally started to file out I felt my PDA vibrate "meet me outside your living quarters at midnight" it was from Xavier. I didn't even realize he'd left.
    My father was quiet the whole way back to our cabin, he went straight to his room as good as locking the door. I wanted to ask him about everything, but there was no point in trying to get through to him, he used to act this way when I'd ask about my mother he would get quiet and hide in his room, sooner or later I just stopped asking, if I hadn't known before I knew now that something was wrong. 
    I waited in silence until I was sure that my dad was asleep, he hated when I went out after curfew even when it had been lifted. It was a little early but I knew Xavier would already be outside I brushed my hair but decided to leave it down. I grabbed my PDA and ID and walked silently toward the door, the airlock was too far away from my dad's room to wake him but I had to get there first. When I finally made it out the door as I had assumed he would be.
    "You're early." He said.
    "And you are?" I replied
    He didn't reply, he didn't look like he was even breathing. We walked the winding passages out IDs got us through the checkpoints that would usually alert the guards that we were breaking curfew, but not tonight. When we reached the gymnasium Xavier turned and looked at me, "I need to talk" he said. He looked like he might cry.
    "I know," I said, "Me too."
    We ascended the stairs to the track. Xavier beat me to the top of the stairs he always does and by the time I got there the ship was already consumed by a grassy field that went on for miles into the horizon broken only by a faded white wash fence and the sky was alight with a million-billion stars that all looked so far away. Xavier dropped to the ground and laid down in the grass. He didn't have to tell me to follow him I just did. 
    "Everything they say is cryptic" he said "It's designed to make us think that this is all for the greater good." He said gesturing to some vast unknown.
    I sat up. "My dad," I choked on the words, "My dad is going to volunteer. He's going to volunteer to be poked and prodded and..." I couldn't finish.
    "And murdered." Xavier finished somberly.
    I nodded. He sat up and put his arm around my shoulders pulling my head to his chest. "I can't ask him about it, he'd just tell me to trust him." I said through tears. 
    "Maybe it won't be as bad as we think." He sighed, trying in vain to comfort me. 
    "Don't patronize me," I groaned, "I.."
    "No." He said. "Really think about it they used machines to speed up the degeneration of cells right? But there's no way they'd do that to people."
    "We're not people, we're not a part of their society, we've been exiled."
    "No we haven't, we didn't do anything to deserve this.
    I just shook my head. He stood and helped me up. We walked side by side for a long time, I waited for the not knowing to crush me, for me to no longer be able to handle what I had spent so much time not thinking about. I let the cool night air consume me licking at the skin on my bare arms until it reached bone. 
      We didn't say another word, until we finished our time. He said: "I'll walk you back." and I said: "Okay." We walked back in silence.
    He lingered at the door for a moment. "Thanks." He said smiling but only slightly, "For everything, really."
    "I didn't.."
    "No." He looked me dead in the eyes, "You did." and then he was gone.

Author's Note

The wording is sort of rough right now and it doesn't flow the way I'd like, I fully intend to rewrite and reorder some things. Also most of it hasn't been proof-read so excuse a few typos (and the use of the term syfyesque, it's clearly not a word but it wants really badly to be.)