Chapter 1: Tom

When Tom is on a jog with his best friend, he goes into a life threatening condition triggered off by the exercise. This is Toms point of view has he goes through the rapid decline of his health

Chapter 1: Tom

It was just a normal day out, I went out for a jog with my best bud who’s trying to lose weight.  I lost 80 lbs and now my heavy set friend wants to do the same.  It’s a little hot out, but a small a gentle breeze keeps the temperature doable.  We were on a path that was completely covered by trees.  The trees acted like a roof letting in minimal light, which would create small little spot lights on the blacktop of the pathway.  There were a lot of flowers out on this path which made the run even more enjoyable, the sweet aroma coming off of the flowers filled the pathway with every small breeze that brushed up against the flowers.

Up ahead on the side of the pathway next to a tree stump that once belonged to an apple tree, I spy the very thing that we’ve both been running toward.  It’s the 2 mile trail marker, with the two very worn out and the yellow paint from the 2 chipping off, almost creating an plain indent into the wood post that reads “2”.  As soon as I saw this post, my body decides it’s time to slow down a bit.  I then feel my calves getting tired, followed by my thighs, with that lactic acid burning all throughout my legs which I knew would shortly start tingling.  My lungs started to feel tired, probably tired of working so hard to make sure oxygen is getting absorbed like it should.

Slowly, I started to get more tired….. My body started to feel heavy on my legs which required much more effort to move with each stride.  I’m determined to hit that 2 mile marker, so I push myself.  I’m just 200 yards away from it, I can get it, I know I can.  My legs soon gave out turning into jelly.  I was on all fours, hyperventilating, and I knew that if I could slow down my breathing, I would be fine.  I probably hit something I learned in Anatomy class called muscle fatigue which is normal thing.  It’s not common because people generally don’t exert enough energy and force on muscles in order to hit muscle fatigue, but if I just chill, I’ll be fine.

“Tom, you okay?” My friend, Jessie, asked as she bent over and started rubbing my back.  I try to answer verbally only to find out that it’s actually getting harder to breathe.  I can’t answer, and that’s a little concerning.  “You know you need to be more careful and not overexert yourself like that, right?”  I nod still attempting to catch my breath and slow my breathing down.  “Easy buddy, nice and deep.  In…… and out……” she said continuing to rub my back out of comfort.  I tried, only to have it become more difficult.  Something’s wrong, my body’s getting really heavy and my rib cage isn’t expanding like I want it to.  My arms that were keeping me off of the blacktop soon gave out as well.

“Tom?!”  She rolls me over on my back so that I’m completely flat.  While it’s somewhat easier to breathe, it confirms how dire my situation actually is right now.  “You okay buddy?”  She said while rubbing the middle of my chest.  I look up at her face.  It’s beat red, covered in sweat, and I’ve never seen her face look so scared either.  I shake my head “no” over and over again not even attempting to waste my breath.  Not sure how many more I have left.  “Do I need to call 911, are you having a crisis?”  She said trying to hold back tears.  I could tell it was hard for her to keep a calm face.  I try to regulate my breathing feeling my chest get heavier and heavier.  I slowly nod my head “yes” in an attempt to seem calm in hopes that if I seem calm, it would help her stay calmer.  “Tom?  I need you to breathe for me, okay?  Don’t stop, just keep your chest moving.  You’re going to be okay, just keep breathing,”  I nod and just take my whole focus and put it all towards.  It’s a little easier to breathe now that I’m in a straighter position.  It feels like an additional pound is being added on top of my chest every second.

“My friend and I were running and he pushed himself too hard on the run and is going into a myasthenia gravis crisis.  I need help immediately.  How do you not know what that is?!?!  It’s an autoimmune neuromuscular disease.  His respiratory muscles that control his breathing are about to give out basically,” she said in a shaking voice.  She bent down so she’s sitting on the blacktop right next to me.  She reached for my right hand as she crossed her legs on the right side on my body.  “Yes I do,” she said shedding a few tears, holding my right hand and gently stroking it with her thumb.  I look up at the roof made of pretty leaves and colorful flowers.  Looking at all of the gaps in between that the light was showing through.  “We’re at the Daven Park, at the second mile marker on the trail.  Thank you,” she said as the call ended and she hung up the phone.

“Hey, Tom.  I need you to look at me, alright?”  I look over at her face, it looked a little blurred.  “You’re going to be okay, I’m not going to let anything happen to you,” she said.  I could hear myself making noises as I struggled to breathe.  My body lost all feeling, and I can feel the oxygen depravation hurting my lungs.  “I know it’s hard, but you need to keep breathing for me.  Just in and out,” she said as she was taking deep breaths.  “In……” she took a huge deep breath in, “and out……” as she exhaled.  I could see black starting to take up my vision, starting from the outside and slowly but surely taking up my whole view.  Soon my lungs didn’t hurt anymore, I couldn’t move my chest anymore, I was completely paralyzed.

“Tom, breathe for me.  I know you want to stop, but you’ve got to keep going,” she said sternly.  I’m dying right now, I have minutes before I succumb to cardiac arrest.  Even though I’ve never had anything like this happen, I have been this close to death on several occasions.  I’ve just never been fully aware like this.  The darkness has now swallowed me up, leaving me with nothing but my hearing which I know will disappear momentarily.  “Tom?”  I felt a few last tears fall down my cheek before hearing the sad and desperate cry of a loving friend, “Tom, no!!”

Author's Note

The chapter titles will have different character names with them, that means that it's from their point of view. I got the idea from a book I read in the 8th grade several years ago for school. Everything is medically checked out. Working on being more descriptive because I tend to lack detail which leads to an extremely rushed plot. Positive critiques welcomed.

Reviews

[BikerTom]

I read only chapter 1 so far. Tom has lost 85 pounds and is going for a run on a path through the woods with his best buddy, who is later identified as a woman who also needs to lose that much weight. On the trail, he suffers what seems to be the beginnings of a heart attack. The scene is described well, but there are some writing problems. The story switches back and forth from past tense to present tense, which is a little distracting.There are some strangely worded ideas, such as the aroma filling the pathway with a breeze.(I think the author meant the breeze filled the pathway with an aroma.) I think the writer was correct in adding the details of the scene, but since this is the first chapter, I would like to have also seen something to add a little more tension to the beginning. For example, something with a little foreboding, e.g., "Who would have guessed that my 290 pound non-girlfriend would be the one to know my symptoms and save my life" or "You might have faced death many times before, but the present time is the only one that counts" or "Just a little run in the woods on a beautiful April day. Nothing can go wrong. Right?"

[DanTheProphet]

Thanks for your opinion, I'll definitely have to go back and edit it :)