Our Cloud

For The World 500 Group.

" I see a rabbit ",
" I see a tree ",
I see what my world use to be
my thoughts were consumed of  you...

We met when we were five years old
at the park looking at clouds
we declared that heart shaped cloud to be our cloud
and our cloud it became
and our cloud its remained... until now...

We're not as strong as we once were,
what ever happened to us and our cloud?
you said nothing would tear what we have apart,
but something has and its more than I can handle

Our cloud is broken
while we each have our separate pieces
and go our separate ways
hopefully or cloud can join together again
instead of raining hell  on  both of our lives

Author's Note

This is for The World 500 Group. The theme is fluffy clouds. Thanks

Reviews

[Blue Moon Ice Cream]

I really like the comparison you made here...you picked a unique symbol for a relationship that I've never seen before. It's a really cool thought that a couple could have a cloud that was 'theirs.' This is one of my favorite poems you've written...you tell a great story without any tired, over-used lines about how the cloud has turned dark. The ending line was a superb wrap-up.

[Kate Hunter]

cute. Keep at it, I loved it.

[gothicchica]

its beutiful so sad and lovely

[Kevin Horsley]

Stunning idea, friendships developed this young usually stand the test of time despite what life throws in the way. Just because paths have parted and taken you down different roads does not mean they won't meet again.

Really identified with this and using something simple like a cloud fits with a childs mindset.

Good job.

[Coyote Poetry]

Age does take the hope and desire of life away. Too bad we can't keep the energy and drive of youth and hold on to it forever. I like the story in the poem. Would be a better world if people could see artwork in a cloud and hold on to laughter. A excellent poem.
Coyote

[JJ_love]

it was too much fluff. Go deeper. You want to make the reader feel all of ur emotions completely. I dnt think this demonstated tht very well.

[Art]

nice work Ta'Shandra...

[Revolutionary]

this poem is happy and then sad.I like the switch in emotions.I have a similar poem called cloud shaping.I like yours.It is beautiful

[Brittni]

I never thought that clouds could be a symbol of love. It's like, for a moment it's there and another moment it's gone. It's unique pieces like this that stick with me. I loved it.

[♥(heatherawesome..]

This is a wonderful poem and I love it soooooo keep up the awesome work.