I Fluff Your Cushion of Cactus Thorns

A friend, a mistress of Abstract Poetry, was trying to teach me her craft. She gave me the title as a prompt, my mind drifted back to the desolation of my first marriage, and this was the result.

 

I fluff your cushion of cactus thorns

freshened with tears of disappointment

from our romantic honeymoon

and the private lake-side cottage

from which you fled in boredom

 

I give you my special bucket of worms

for your next bait-and-switch,

that future victims might see the real you

behind the pre-nuptial masks you wear

before they fall into your trap

 

Just for you

I bottle skunk-scent perfume

to moisten your deception-stained skin

for all the lovers you entertained

while I worked to pay our mortgage

 

For you alone

I stomp sour grapes into vinegar

to moisten your lie-cracked lips

as you writhe upon the road’s shoulder

gasping for water

 

and with brackish holy water

I give you my blessing

and wish you a happy life

as I leave you far behind

 

 

Reviews

[Genie]

Wow! A very successful prompt -- what a good poem! It's almost a litany, albeit not religious of course. But the way it's developed and the form it follows make it feel like it could be sung -- or even chanted as you leave her far behind.

I don't know if I'm reading this right, but I wonder if the 3rd and middle stanza would read better if the last two lines were in the past tense: for all the lovers you entertainED/while I workED to pay our mortgage ...? Just a thought and a suggestion, and I may be out of line completely.

The title and first line are superb, and your litany of poetically barbed metaphors follows perfectly. Bravo!

[Carrie Montgomery]

this is sullen, irate, and wonderful!
"lie-cracked lips" -bravo!

[Blackbirdsong]

So tell us how you really feel! Damn this is a wonderful and powerful vent and I reads as if you must have felt cathartic after writing it. I also like how even some of the most painful descriptions and images are also in some abstract way kind of beautiful. I remember reviewing this before certain things happened...glad you backed up your work my friend...this is definitely one I would love for the book :)

[An Ordinary Woman]

I loved this one but didn't really understand "abstract" but I've been doing a bit of studying. I love the title too, I think you did a remarkable job with this. Definitely.