Painted Puppets

Painted puppets
wake in the night
black death
takes souls into spinning flight
they pray for vengeful breath

Eyes shut with webs of might
being led
painted puppets laugh with piercing sounds
It shakes and stirs
wicked stench a flow

Grave stone met
kneeling upon my knees
the bloody dagger
cuts my heartstrings
they taunt to come take part

Painted puppets
rule the bitter sky's
I arise cold and dark
transformed in fiery dance

Fearless of painting my new mask
in the sanctuary of tombs
sharp arrows pierce all light
taking the life of my soul
for I am a painted puppet tonight

Smiling with morbid truth

Author's Note

Rough Draft Any feed back will be most helpful, thankyou!

Reviews

[Wandering Violet]

Nice and disturbing! Very dark and eerie.

Great choice of words and the atmosphere makes it unsuitable for reading on a dark and stormy night - unless you want goosebumps! Love it!

[- - -]

I agree with Jupiter Jazz, very dark and amazing

[Jupiter Jazz]

I like it! It had a Macbeth meets Poe feel to me. Good job. Yosh!

[stars are far]

this was so greatly done
Amazing :)

[Raven Starhawk]

Absolutely vivid it its magical lore. You have a fascinating poem here.

[...]

. extremely vivid writing ...
. exceptional title ...
. intriguing last line ...

[Sethnicity]

I like the way each stanza depicts it's own scene.
And how you surrender to it... Wow dark indeed cus truth is often found in the breakdown.
Favorite line:
Painted puppets
rule the bitter sky's
I arise cold and dark
transformed in fiery dance

I'll have to check back on the next rendition.

[Jibey]

What a macabre, dark piece, filled with the stench of death and the images of stiffs... the idea of the painted puppet seems like voodoo... and the blacness of the night is reflected in the ritual at the grave...Fascinatingly disturbing - if you see what I mean!

[Judas Hammer]

very cool, visually stunning, I was in a cemetery, cold and shaking for my life. Awesome

[Coyote Poetry]

A very nice scary tale. My mother won't watch any movies with dolls as killers. I like the description and very good ending to this poem. Thank you for a excellent poem.
Coyote