The Curse

Blue was her color that mornin`

I followed with my black right after my yawnin`

She put a tea on the stove

I was in our bed, hearken a steam in my soul

Then I buttered us two slices of bread

She sat

Face in her palms, wishin` to be dead

Me, a wordsmith in a silence

just a nurturer in a darkness

She wailed

her hug looser with every tear

through her shattering pain

askin` me and God unsolvable "why?"

You see, my dear friend

yesterday our month old daughter died

Reviews

[Bear]

Very powerful subject matter that should emotionally move everyone who reads it, well done. A couple of your sentences could be worded differently, starting with the first sentence "Blue was her color that morning" were you to replace the word "color" with the word "mood" it strengthens your intent "Blue was her mood that morning". Also "She put a tea on a stove" when you are at home do you put a tea on a stove or no the stove? "She put a tea on the stove". This really is a great poem you should try to find the right image to post with it, maybe not now that I think about it as it almost makes people cry so an image would just add to the effect and people would definitely cry :~) Clap! Clap! Clap! Clap! Clap!

[Satoshi IroTzu]

Respect, Papa-Bear

I enjoy and appreciate your comments as always.
I appreciate, and cherish, time you invested to give me a different angle and advice that benefits my writing.

[Neal S]

This is very sad. A normal routine broken by the thoughts of loss. I felt this though. Nice work.

[Satoshi IroTzu]

Respect, Neal S

I`m glad to see it touched you.

[HeyJadeXO]

Usually, I can decipher what you are writing about in your poetry.I have to be honest, I am a little confused what the topic this one is about.

[Satoshi IroTzu]

Respect, JadeXO

It is about a couple going through their morning routine only to break because their daughter died a day before.