Beast

You push me, I'll push back

Your hand on me, it will snap

You assume I'm nice and docile

Your plans end when I go hostile

~

I hold no love for loss of life

Though I don't run from a fight

Even your attempts to hurt

Will only leave you in the dirt

~

The look of terror on your face

The sign that nothing could brace

The scene you tried to make

Only ends with you in disgrace

~

Shut your mouth, hold your tongue

Leave in shame for I have won

You try to continue your hate

But all you want to do is bait

~

An argument that you tried to stir

Will be over, as quick as a blur

You came with words of hate

I came with knowledge of your fate

~

Behind the subtle smiles and quirks

Lies a tendency to hurt

We shall chear and sing as we feast

Just don't bring out the beast

Reviews

[C.F. Boehlke]

I really like the first two lines of the last stanza. I am hardly an even a novice when it comes to writing, let alone reviewing, poetry... but this was a thought provoking piece. You can feel the anger...perhaps some pain that is masked in machismo, as well. As I said, I am far from qualified to review poetry in terms of structure and form, but I did notice that the third stanza didn't "roll off" the proverbial tongue as well as the others. Perhaps an added syllable or two somewhere in there would help? I'm not sure :)

At any rate, I think I felt what you were intending the reader to feel! Bravo and thanks for sharing!

[Ryzo]

Loved the pace of your poem so fluid and strong. Nicely crafted I enjoyed reading it, thanks for sharing. :)

[Seanne Tholltree]

like it esp the lines:


The look of terror on your face

The sign that nothing could brace

The scene you tried to make

Only ends with you in disgrace

[biggerthenu]

I like this one nice write I can truly relate thanks for sharing

[Tai Ryens]

Anger spews out on every line, and emotion flows nicely with the poem. I'm not talking about the emotion of happiness, I'm talking about the emotion of hatred and despise being embedded deeply into this poem. That last stanza was just simply amazing, left me speechless to how professionally it was written. There were so many interpretations in my eyes to what the beast of that last line was, and I love that about any good poem. The power to be interpreted completely different depending on writer to writer.
Keep up the excellent work, amazing job once again.

[N.A.S.S]

Different from the poems that I have read so far in this site. Unexpected. I didn't expect a rock song! That's what I felt it was. The lines 'you came with words of hate...fate" were great. There is a certai angst in the poem that is well conveyed. Though I am not sure sure about the poetic genius of this poem but this is, I feel, a rock song, more than a poem. Just find a nice tune to go with it!