The Most Constructive Review Ever Removed

"Serah" claimed to be the editor of a poetry magazine and assumed the auspices of a top reviewer...wrote an essay on reviewing and received the following review.. She removed it.

I am the editor of a national poetry magazine here in Italy called "Fleas to the chimp" and I've found that when interviewing potential employees in the capacity of reviewer there is an overwhelming tendency in them for the most part to merely run the gamut of superlatives from A-Z without actually saying anything truly constructive at all. They spend a very long time conceiving their 'work' and tend to give the same kind of review each time, using pretty much the same words, and with the same adulation and feigned appreciation with all kinds of work of hugely diverse standards of quality, ranging from the sublime to the ridiculous. The reader of such a review can then learn nothing at all from this about the true quality of the work being reviewed, as the same critical appreciation is given to all. So, in this sense, one cannot tell a good poem from a bad one - according to the review they are all good. This is effectively useless, regardless of how intelligent the vocabulary of the reviewer in question. Needless to say, these applicants never got the job. We ended-up employing a monkey.

Reviews

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I totally agree with the review process above, how are we meant to improve as writers if the every review is sycophantic..regarding the person named..wolf in sheeps clothing springs to mind..I appreciate that not every has been stung by her antics but if you have then I am sure that you would fully understand the nature of this review..I hope that she finds a little peace and compassion in her heart and stops listening the her mind..it's feeding her lies..

[TadKent]

Ha, you made me realize that I've done this. hopefully I won't anymore.
Thanks for the heads up!

[Desert Dreamer]

I'm a bit confused. First of all, I thought you were someone I know with a new name, which is why I am here reading your work, because you have his picture on your profile, at least it is the same as the one he uses... And now you are saying things about Serah that don't fit the Serah I know. She gives some of the best reveiws which are very insightful. What you are saying does not fit any of my experiences with her. My opinion is that you are being hateful of her for some reason that isn't obvious to me.

Something odd is going on here.

[Devons]

I know where you're coming from on this one, and it ain't out of a tree. And yes, it seems it has struck a nerve - more than one, in fact. Be careful, though, that Gandre is a witch and can cast spells. I should know, she turned me into a Nazi. Everything you say here, though, is very true indeed, and if some people are offended then so be it, it can't be helped. Personally, I didn't see much to be offended about really. I mean, you could only be offended if the words are related or focussed upon you, so if Serah removed this review then she must have recognised herself in the references you made here, that's all I can say. My own experience of her is not particularly good either, but I won't get involved with that again.
Anyway, very funny ending, and a quite intelligent satire of all that is wrong with the pretentious side of art.

[Chloe..Across the Unive..]

Are you speaking directly of serah?
I think you are...she is a good person and kind .. if i got such a review i would remove it also...
She is also a friend of mine and I stand up for my friends!

Your writes are comical but if this is aimed at my friend, serah... then it is mean and malicious.

You couldn't be who I thought you were... I don't think he would be so harsh..
not the person i am thinking of who reviewed everyone's writing with such grace and style and kindness.. I don't think this is that person who has always been kind enough to read simple writers such as myself..
This cannot be the same kind soul... I was wrong... !

[Gandré]

you are nothing, ZERO. not even a high-school degree. We don't need to know who you are. Your writing is ridiculous and and your idea plagiarized. Employing a monkey - where do you have this idea from? World is full of small dicks and small brains. Otherwise, why you would leave malicious reviews....

[Elizabeth]

I employ monkeys.

[Fallacy Pharmacy]

The most constructive review ever, this is. I rather have one truly criticizing review rather that five that don't really mean anything...

[zombiikillah666]

this is true.
but i dont like critiques, so
just tell me my poems good
even if its not. makes me happy. (:
hahaha. this story was very good. i like it. (: