Save Me

older piece

Save Me
Help me,
Someone,
Save me please!
Kill me,
Lift me,
up on wings!
Love me,
Hate me,
Do these things!
Want me,
Need me,
My heart sings!
Throw me,
Break me,
As I cease to breath!
Trust me,
Doubt me,
No need to believe!
Hold me,
Kiss me,
I want to receive!
Love me,
Hate me,
I know you deceive!
Help me,
Kill me,
Save me please!

Reviews

[Angie- Reading As Fast ..]

I love the desperation, as well... It's very well written.

[Ashentara]

great poem Davia
two typos (recieve and decieve) but other than that, powerful and very thought-provoking.

[Starbound25]

loved the desperation in this, we all feel it at some time

[Hitman]

Short but with substance. I liked it and don't doubt yourself...you can write.

Also, thanx for joining the group. Look forward to reading more from you.

[Miranda]

i like the poem. thank you for your kind revews!

[Matt Shutler]

I love this poem and the slight contrast in it. It is really deep and shows a lot of people's mental feeling to other people.

[Adani Adoshi]

Both seem to suit it, though it would appear that it is more suited for a poem then a song. It follows the rhyme scale well, I must say, but in honest opinion, I do find it in need of more. Now don't get me wrong, it is a well put together scale, I just personally find something lacking. But I am not the judge of your art, nor will I ever be, but I suggest that you dig deeper then the surface and drown yourself in the more painful emotions to drag the reader into the darker torment of the desire to be loved.