Part 2

“Death may be the greatest of all human blessings” -If Socrates was right? I would smile now.

We hit the ground softer then I'd imagined in those seconds of falling. I was unharmed and calm, it was as if some entity had picked me up and cradled me down to the hidden floor of this hidden planet. I sat in ruins for a while- a long while. The ship fell apart around me, decommissioning itself, and I just sat in silence, still deafened by the hum of the machine. In that sound I had lost the crow, it cried no longer for me. I found myself lonely and looking at gauges again watching the vital vials drop lower and lower into an inevitable end, for the ship and for me. I was going to die in this wreck- I was almost contempt with it. Goose had gone, disappeared- I suppose he'd not made it through, I didn't look over for fear I would be proved wrong. There was no sound though, no scream, no weep, he was dead.

   I looked out of the window once again, this time searching for anything... there was little, little dust, little cloud, little life in this atmosphere. I was on the edge of an oblivion. In my dying boredom time passed oddly, threes minutes became one hour. The bearable moments became unbearable times.

   So I began to sing to myself, muse and radiohead.

Wake.. from your sleep

-the drying of your t-tears

TODAY. we escape-we escape

...breathe, keep breathing...

   I felt myself shake as I sang what seemed to be the concluding lines of this book of mine, this life. One, two, three. Three times I shook but upon each one I regained something- some hope, belief. I began to believe that I could go further, further then this wreck. I believed in home, the home I'd left so far behind. So I picked myself up. The belts that entangled me, seemed to slip off by this will, and my feet.. felt light. I stumbled, so proud, away from the ship. I walked to that edge of oblivion and upon it I fell.

   

   “Home! Take me home” I cried.

   I felt my eyes well up, So I closed them tight and held it in best I could. With my hands at my side I muttered promises of home, swore that I would go there again, prayed that I would even. 'take me home, take me home' I whispered. I wheezed a long sigh and let go of the fists I had been clenching so tight. I dared not open my eyes for fear that nothing would have changed, in spite of my prayer. Instead for a while I listened, I listened to the planet an I heard its soul in the silence. I felt the ground beneath me, picked up the dust of it and felt it whither. It reminded me of home- the beach couple of miles south of the academy. I used to go there as a kid and now I took mine there, it was as if I was there now.. looking out at my girls dancing in those giant shirts of theirs. “James”- some ones calling me “James!” the girls are looking now, worried. I feel sick -and what's worse is I don't know why. I throw my shirt off and I ran t'ward the sea, there is something in the sea, calling me, I just can't make-it-out- I tripped over and...didn't stop. My eyes wide open I fell down into this great crater. I tried my best to stop my fall but the sides were dust and steep- I feel further into oblivion. I was rushing towards an unusual platform, an unusual flat of bright yellow- I flailed my arms stronger to try and catch myself again but it was futile.

   I looked into the yellow and saw myself, my reflection. It appeared to be a still pool that I was rushing into. I saw my fearful face, I knew I couldn't swim, not like this. My fate was written in the water, it was written twice.

There was another reflection, feint but there. A reflection of another. I looked up toward where it would be, and there, sure enough a figure stood, like a bird in a storm, moving along the opposite bank. I caught it clear in my sight as the liquid hit my legs.

   “JAMES!” he called me.

Author's Note

This is probably the most un-complete Part I've written I struggled with it for a long time and rather then fester I moved on with the intention of returning to it later.