The Art of adjustment

The story of a boy who is transferred to a new school. He is faced with certain conflictions, both internal and external, and is forced to deal with them head on. It is witty, romantic and bad a*s.

The art of adjustment.

-         A short story by Dawid Bakkes  -

 

Monday:

I started squinting as I cycled underneath the trees. The morning sunlight fell through the branches, which were giving life to the first leaves, and into my eyes. Taking in the new town as I move ever closer to my new school. I got a few funny looks for smoking as I cycled, but that tobacco was much needed in my lungs. I’m not sure if the people staring were taken aback by the guy smoking in his school uniform, which was a brown colour that can only be compared to s**t, or because of the irony of cycling and smoking. Nonetheless I took my final corner and saw the big bland school building.

 

I locked up my bicycle and felt alone amongst the masses of unknown faces. Tall kids, short kids, fat and lanky ones, this school had them all. There were many trees with tables and chairs underneath and I had to cross this ocean of people. I saw the groups that sat together as I made my way to the secretary’s office.  There were the narcissistic selfie taking girls, the nerds comparing accounting homework, the gamers talking about their clan matches and of course there were the jocks talking about the weekend’s game. As I listen in to get the gist of each conversation I hear someone moaning and pleading and sticking my head around the corner I even find the typical bully pushing his victim against the wall.

The secretary gave me an easy-to-understand guide to the school and told me where each of my classes were. I walked into the 2^nd year English class where they were already busy with the lesson, which was when I first saw her. The first spark which initiated my interest to her was simply hearing her laugh as I walked in. I walked into the class and sat right behind her whispering in her direction “Your laugh alone is enough to brighten the stormiest of days.” She turned back to look at me and as her dark brown hair slid off her face the most beautiful eyes lit up and she began to smile.

“Thank you, I’m Jasmine” and as she began to blush a bit our interaction was ended. “Come on class please focus! Now as for you sir…” he said looking right at me “…You who came in so late. What is your name?” This teacher, along with many others with similar teaching styles, annoyed the s**t out of me. The way they speak and walk and even dress shouts out that they are the teacher and that you are their student. “My name is Ben sir…” I said unenthusiastically. “…I am new to this school and the secretary had to direct me to this class. That is the reason I was late sir.” Simple explanation should suffice I thought. “I did not ask you why you were late Benjamin, merely enquired your name.” “Okay” I could see that we would not be getting along. ‘And this is not a school, it is a university. I am not some teacher, I am a lecturer.’ “Sir, is a university not a universal school preparing one for all walks of life?...” He contemplated whether or not I was taking him for an a*s but he dismissed it “…And also sir, I was not aware that you got your Doctorate else I would have addressed you accordingly. It also makes a lot of sense now that you work here in this University.” I said it with so much facetious honour and respect that I was absolutely oozing with sarcasm.

   

I was present for the rest of my classes that day, but my mind was not really. Wondrous oblivion to the texts that the teachers attempted to teach. It was truly a trivial attempt at transferring their information toward this guy. The only time I really zoned back in was when he stopped speaking about work and told us about his own life. Not that I cared I was just curious to see what this guy is actually like. One often judges a book by its cover and I did not want to do this too. He let me down though speaking about how beautiful the church ceremony was that he attended the previous day. If not that then he was telling us about the dangers of premarital sex and I have a sneaky suspicion that his wedding ring on his finger is not there 100% out of choice. My mind was with Jasmine mostly though. Eventually it was the final bell that brought me back to reality. As the students exited the school in great haste I walked toward my bicycle. It was my more than a mode of transportation to me, it was freedom. The 6km cycle back home was blissful. The birds were singing that summer is on its way. The freshly budding flowers sure made it smell that way. My first day, in retrospect, I guess was okay.

 

Tuesday

I was late once more for Mr. Russell’s English class. Once more I walked right to the seat closest to Jasmine. As I passed her desk I dropped a note.

“Alas, I seem to have found a great a*s attached to this lass”

Simple and true I thought. This was meant as an icebreaker between Jasmine and I, you know, make a girl laugh and conversation follows with ease. Unfortunately Mr. Russell saw what happened and ceased the opportunity. “Tell me Benjamin, have you been listening to our lesson this morning?” he asked with a grotesque sense of right. “I have not sir, however I arrived late so I do not see how I could be expected to have.” Perhaps I should have been more respectful. Perhaps. “Tell me Benjamin…” he had a way of using my name in every sentence emphasizing that there is no title to it “…what would you say an idiom is?” I was slightly surprised by this question. A comparison using the words ‘like’ or ‘as’, but that was too easy. It is as if he did not hear me say that I was not aware of class context and then should not be expected to know. “It is someone who is not very smart… sir?” I can safely say that I was far from his favourite student.

After class I felt like a cigarette. I felt like 10. I asked around and got some directions to the bathrooms. At previous schools I attended I use to sell loose cigarettes to the smokers during breaktimes and the trick is to be in the bathroom during the first few minutes before the teachers get there to disperse the crusty crew of stinky smokers. Walking toward the bathroom I heard a familiar plea. A voice begging for mercy, that kid was being bullied again. It took me several moments to track down the location, but I found the same bully holding the same scrawny kid up by his collar. Distracted from my need for tobacco I stepped in.                                                      

“Hey man, what do you have against this kid?” I asked, sizing up the chump. He was built quite muscular, however he wasn’t a jock who spends his days in the gym. “F**k you, this twerp ain’t worth your troubles anyhow.” He said staring me down. “What is your name if I may ask?” ‘Why you asking? Wanna go run to the authorities tellin’ on me?’ “The thought had not even crossed my mind.” I took a moment to look at the victim. Why allow himself to be put through this day after day? ‘My name’s Jimbo Wilson, one of the toughest guys around so I would suggest you jog on.’ My well thought out, witty and quick response was cut short by the memory of my days selling loose cigarettes in the bathrooms during recess. The trick to being a good salesman is timing. “I'm afraid I must jog on indeed” I replied, and made my way to the bathrooms.

As I entered the Men’s room the air was already thick with the smell of second hand smoke. Just great! I wasted no more time in getting my smoke lit and entering my lungs. There were 4 other guys smoking in the room and I must admit that I entered with an agenda. “hmm smoking really is great between class huh?” I initiated conversation. ‘Yes indeed.’ One of them replied and the rest of their heads nodded in approval. Typical looking smokers who had their deodorant cans ready, too bad you are unable to spray that yellow off your teeth. ‘Yeah there is only road leading to your lungs, might as well tar it!’ we shared a smile and one of them added ‘Yeah man, who wants to die with pink lungs anyway?’ They smiled and I smiled and the ice was broken. “So tell me boys, do any of you possibly have some connection to spliff?” and they shared some nervous glances. One of them stepped forward and gave me a number. “You meet at the old forest near Windshire Road and don’t worry this s**t is good.” I thanked him and took the final few drags of my cigarette. Realising that I was not even nearly conscious or aware of myself smoking and that, in some sense, I wasted my lungs and money had gone to some waste.

 

 

Wednesday:

Leaving for school is always my least favourite part of the day and I try to postpone the action for as long as possible. This morning I procrastinated by texting the number I got from the smokers the previous day. “Hey, I was wondering if you have any section?” simple and to the point. ‘Yes I do :).. R50/gram of cali orange, R60/gram for the cheese and then I have a nice greenhouse chronic that I'm selling at R100 a G.’ Right back at you I thought reading the message, simple and to the point. “Thanks, I’ll let you know when I want to meet up at the old forest, I will probably only get later this week though.” ‘No worries…’ And that was that, now I was off to school again.

During my cycle to school I thought of Jasmine, replaying the moments in class and trying to rehear her voice. Then I thought of that shitbag teacher and his condescending ways. I’ll have to get him back in some way or another at some point in time. Perhaps I’ll egg his house, maybe I’ll find his email address and subscribe him to loads of Japanese tentacle porn or I’ll just think of something unpremeditated and impulsive. With all this thought of revenge I was not even barely conscious about my cycle and before I knew it I was heading for Mr. Shitbag’s very own classroom.

Walking into class, very punctually and on time for once, I headed straight in my usual direction. Whilst walking to sit behind her she looked up at me and gave a friendly smile. I smiled back at her, but I also smiled because I realised that being on time meant I could speak to her before we started working. “Good morning, Jasmine” I began as friendly as heartfelt as I could be. ‘Good morning, BJ’ she said teasingly. “hah, Jasmine the Jester is it?” ‘Ah don’t take it personally…’ and as she was saying it the sun let in a few additional rays of light in on her creating an angelic effect with her. She said something after ‘don’t take it personally’, but I was too distracted by her beauty to really listen. ‘So Ben, where are you from? What is your story?’ She asked. Unfortunately I could not tell her right then and there because Mr. Russell entered into the classroom. “Good morning kids!” he said, I hated that he addressed us as children. “mornin’ sir” a few kids mumbled back. “Morning I said!” he demanded, but only attained a slight increase in enthusiasm from his subjects which seemed to simultaneously confuse and frustrate him. “Right let’s begin then, did everyone complete their homework from yesterday?” and that was round the time my mind drifted away.

The final bell rang up a thirst for smoke in my throat and I walked toward the old Pine tree where some of my fellow students too had an after school smoke. I watched the tip of my cigarette burn as I pulled on it. And as I exhaled I looked back at the school I was forced to attend for the last couple of hours. I looked at the contrast between the white walls and brown windowsills. The fading paint made the brown seem less intentional and just dirty. My sight followed the cheap architectural design of the school toward where I locked up my ride. I could not believe my eyes when I saw the bully again. He was clearly a habitual a*****e. I looked down at my cigarette hand, then had my last few drags before walking there.

He saw me from a distance and I could see the annoyance in his face. “I see you have a new victim for your own insecurity today.” Pointing at the soulless little ginger kid under tight grip. ‘What did you just say you little f****t?’ Was his brilliant response. Well thought out indeed. “Why is it, do you think, that you feel the need to pick on these kids?” He had no doubt in his mind to his motives ‘It’s initiation, you wouldn’t understand newbie’ “Initiation? I mean it was clear that you didn’t really have anything against your victims. However I do not feel like the reason was initiation. Perhaps you were upset about something and wanted to get it out, perhaps you hate these kids cause they are the kids who grow up to get better marks than what you ever could? I’m betting you aren’t getting the same grades as this pocket-protector wearing virgin is getting.” It was at this point that the little ginger considered saying something, but decided to rather bite his lip. It was also around this time that Jim was getting upset. He let go of the ginger who immediately fled a few meters, but only a few staying close enough to see where this leads. ‘Say that to my face BenJamin the bj f****t!’ “Hey dude I’m asking you to think about what I notice about your behavior. I’m not critising or confronting you.” He tried to push me over before I even finished my sentence, but I stepped to the side and deflected his balance away. “Stop your s**t. I’m going home.” I said and turned around reaching into my pocket pulling out my cigarettes. Walking straight to my bicycle I heard him say something derogatory about the ginger, however he did not say anything to me.

On my cycle home I passed the forest where I was to meet the dealer, just to check out the environment. It turned out to be more of a little park with a lot of trees rather than a forest, but it was dense and smelled of fresh green leaves. This place seemed to have been the home of many a teenage shenanigans; bottles of liquor, empty condom packets and cigarette boxes. There was also tree logs boxed around the memory of what was once a bonfire. This seemed like a safe place to meet up.

 

Thursday:

I woke up to the sound of morning rain. I enjoyed beginning my mornings with a cup of coffee and a cigarette outside under our tree and this morning would be no different. I made my coffee and grabbed my smokes and walked out into the rain and found solace in the shelter the tree had to offer. Stray drops continually made their way through the branches and leaves trickling down hitting me on occasion. Ambient peace.

Cycling to school with an umbrella would not really work for me so I decided to go stroll this morning. There were few other pedestrians beside myself walking this rainy morning. They varied in types; from the druggo hippy guy to a man in a suit and tie, there was a house wife carrying a fresh loaf of bread from the local bakery and a business man who did not seem to mind his executive shoes getting wet. We exchanged friendly nods and even maybe a “good morning” here and there. These people also did not seem to find my smoking strange, as if they understood. Like-minded people who too enjoy strolls in the rain and who most likely smoked at a time too. I was wondering about what it will be like when I am the older generation looking at a younger school kid smoking and how I would most likely advise him against it. I wondered if the decisions I make now really would determine which one of these roles I end up playing. Nonetheless my thought was interrupted as I entered the school’s gate seeing Jim waiting for me.

He was wet and without an umbrella and seemed like he did not get too much sleep last night. Before I could avoid this whole situation and walk around he saw me and his voice broke my peace to pieces. ‘F**k you! I don’t initiate these f*****s cause they are smarter than me.’ He seemed deeply offended and confronted by our brief conversation the previous day. “I’m not saying you beat on these kids because they are smarter than what you are.” I began, but did not manage to really get my say before he began again. ‘There is more than just book smart you know? I am good and using my hand and building s**t so don’t think you are the queen’s vagina just because you can understand numbers.’ He had been thinking indeed. “I know that dickhead, the problem is not that I don’t believe in your intelligence. The problem is that you don’t believe in your own intelligence.” This upset him quite a bit and his entire body posture went confused then aggressive. As he came in to push me I prepared to deflect him again, however he realised this and shifted his weight forcing me into the gate. I dropped my umbrella and it got full of mud. He held me firmly and was more shaking me out of anger than trying to hurt me. I couldn’t trust that he wouldn’t escalate so I sunk my knee into his stomach, which did not fully wind this big boy, but did give me the chance to push off the gate and get him off me. Fists raised in the rain we were ready to go at it, toe to toe, but Mr. Russelll was walking toward the school when he saw us and stopped us. Shouting at us for trying to degrade the school’s name and he did not seem to get the irony of saying that we were “dragging it through the mud.” He sent us to the Head of Department, but I was let off with a warning as it was my first offense. This was good because I had to go to Mr. Russell’s class next and if I entered with nothing but a warning he did not really win.

I walked in with my eye on Jasmine’s spot, but it was empty. Instead there was just an empty desk and chair with her usual 2 friends in their spots. I did not even bother going to sit behind her seat and found a new place in my usual spot, the very back. Mr. Russell was surprised to see me so soon knowing that there was no way my parents had already been in to speak to the correct administration. He seemed upset and betrayed as if the justice system had failed him. He did not give me s**t or even really acknowledge my existence after that look which suited me very well. As the final bell rang I stopped Jasmine’s friends and began to chat. “Hey girls, my name is Ben, do you know where Jasmine is today?” Simple and direct you know, best way to go. They did not know why she was absent, but they did give me directions to her house. My mission was to simply see if she was okay. My bicycle was locked behind the school and I knew that I could slip out unnoticed the only issue would be escaping the classroom. I waited and planned and plotted and practically was percolating before he left to fetch some chalk from the neighboring classroom. I had no hesitation and I took the dash-and-dive exit using the window. The fall was slightly higher than I expected but nothing that really hurt thanks to the lushly kept grass. I continued running until I safely reached my bicycle. I made it.

I stopped at my home to get changed in to casual clothing so that I seem less suspicious cycling around in uniform. I lived in the city area. My home was a flatbuilding and there are businesses all around. Buildings in my area were tall and square. You would hear movement at all hours of the day and you were free to move at all hours if you felt inclined to. Quite to the contrary cycling through the suburban area was nostalgic. I saw big old houses with gardens, pools and fruit trees. I saw the toddler toys lying around the front gardens and small red bicycles with training wheels. 

Looking at the small bicycle that was much similar to the one I first rode and there I was, still riding. The suburban areas were cleaner and had this freshness to it. 

The air was crisp. I neared her house and my mind began to doubt itself. “Come on! You got dis!” I thought as I began inspecting the house. It was a double story brick house with a roof that resembled that of a mushroom roof. The edges curled over a bit and it carried solar panels. They had a lush garden with dark green grass and well-trimmed lavender plants that had a fresh purple. Their door was a large and heavy looking made with an old English design. The windows and windowsills also had the old English look. My eyes drifted further up toward the second story windows when I saw that the one had stickers and notes pasted on it. I picked up a small pebble and threw it at the window. A few seconds passed before she glanced out and saw me without responding or opening it. My mind entered the doubting phase but could not dwell in self-doubt for too long before she opened the Old English door. ‘Hello Ben?’ She asked looking confused. She was wearing grey sweatpants and a football jersey she seemed to be drowning in. “Hey Jasmine…” I began and cleared my throat to avoid my voice sounding shaky “…Uhm I noticed you weren’t at school today and I was just concerned that is all.” ‘Oh yes, how sweet. I just was not really in the mood for school and my family was gone for the day so.’ She let me deduce that she stayed home all by myself. “I’m glad to see that you are healthy.” ‘What is the time now? Shouldn’t you still be there now?’ She looked down at her watch and back at me. “Yeah I should but you see I did not really feel much like school either.” It was her turn to deduce that I escaped from that wretched place. ‘How on earth did you get Mr. Russell to let you leave?’ She asked slightly raising her eyebrow. “Well see I did not really stick around for him to not allow me and capitalized on an oppourtunity presented to me.” ‘He is probably so mad at you’ “Ape s**t indeed.” ‘So now that you see I am alive would you like to come inside?’ “No thank you. I would have liked to but I need to get home myself.” ‘Oh okay I understand, don’t worry.’ She said and she seemed disappointed to say it and I did not need to go home either, but I would rather hang out with her in a more mutually comfortable environment first.

“What are your plans for the weekend? I mean, if you have not made any yet, how about we go grab a milkshake or something?”  ‘I would love to.’ The disappointment dropped from her face and with that I could be off. “Will you be in class tomorrow?” ‘Yes, I will see you there.’ And we both gave a sincere and heartfelt smile before I turned around and she closed the door.

 

I cycled home with a smile seemingly sewn straight onto my face.

 

 

 

 Friday:

Friday was another one of those days where I dabbled with my bad habit of being on time for class. Luckily Jasmine was on time too and I got to admire her beauty before we commenced with work.  I thought the way she complimented her friends was beautiful. I saw beauty in the way she listened to them speak with no intention of replying but simply to hear what they had to say. I thought it was beautiful of her to share her piece of fudge with the girl who she never really spoke simply because she could see that the girl wanted some.

In perfect contrast to this sweet hearted girl entered the grotesque Mr. Russell. He walked straight in without his usual ‘Good morning students’ crap. That only happened when it suited him. He dropped his case onto his desk that thumped and grabbed everyone’s attention. There was no beauty left in this room, instead there was nothing but dry tension. ‘So somebody in here thinks that it is okay to just leave My class!’ He shouted and a lot of heads turned in my direction. Jasmine looked in my direction too with a naughty smile on her face which in turn made me smile. ‘Oh you think this is funny Benjamin?’ “Not really sir, this whole scene greatly lacks in all humourous aspects.” ‘Excuse me?’ He somewhat mumbled as he could not believe what he was hearing. “Why of course I’ll excuse you sir, I mean this is Your classroom after all.” And that was the point at which he really began steaming. His blood was quick on the rise but he felt that as an English teacher he should first mock the boy for his mistake. ‘excuse me’ he began ‘can mean one of two things. The first being that of please excuse me from the room and the seco-‘ but I cut him off before he could finish “Oh oh I see sir you meant it in the terms of ‘please repeat that for me’ okay. I was just saying that this particularly scene is in fact not funny in my eyes and that it would probably make Chaplin cry if anyone tried to sell this as comedy. Why is it that you ask? Do you find it funny and just wanted a second opinion or?” and then I waited in silence for him to cut me off. He was baffled, befuddled and on the brink of bursting with anger. ‘Just get out! Get out of My classroom right away! I will much rather just deal with this on Monday.’ I did not say another word I just walked right out and fished in my backpack for my cigarettes.

 

Jasmine had asked her friends and they informed her of what happened the previous day. They made me sound courageous for diving and not hesitating. They told her that they gave me directions to her house. She asked them what they thought about me and some were positive and some had mixed emotions after the blatant disrespect they witnessed. “If he does not respect any form of authority then he also would not respect you.” That kind of s**t.

I found my cigarettes and sparked one up. The lunch time bell was to ring in 8 minutes and I would prefer to be out of here before the place gets flooded. I slowly walked toward my bicycle with the strange feeling that someone was keeping an eye on me. I inhaled some smoke and exhaled the smoke. I felt better. I did not know why I could not get along with Mr. Russell but I just could not. It had nothing to do with his teaching style or appearance but more to do with him and the way he saw his students. I inhaled some smoke and exhaled some smoke and felt better. I could see my bicycle and there was some kind of note stuck to it. I walked toward it inhaling and exhaling once more and feeling light headed. I threw the cigarette ahead of me in right under my shoe killing it as I walk. I bent down to look at the note and it said “watch out f****t!”

The next moment I felt a huge thud and felt myself falling to my side. I touched the spot on my head where the pain was coming from and looked at my hand, there was no blood at least. I looked up to see Jim standing there with a clever smirk on his face. Enraged I thought about the how the human jaw feels as it breaks under your elbow. I wondered if he was going to cry by the time I am finished with him. I shot myself up and felt dazed. I took one step closer and gave a quick jab with my left hand knocking his Adam’s apple. He choked a bit and I slapped him across his ear as hard as what I could hoping to burst his eardrum. We both kind of stopped for a moment when the lunchtime bell rang and looked at each other. Neither of us wanted to get into trouble again, but we both wanted to go at each other’s throats. “F*****g meet me here tomorrow at 10 and we finish this!” I commanded him. ‘Yeah right f****t you just looking for an excuse to not fight me.’ I was so enraged that I did not really care if I got into trouble anymore. ‘Okay I will meet you here.’ He agreed. I unlocked my bicycle and cycled home as quickly and vigorously as possible.

That night when I was in bed trying to fall asleep all I could think about was the previous fights that I have been in. I did not win all of them but I made sure to always get a few solid punches in. I did not even originally want to fight Jim, merely liberate him a bit. He was continually initiating force as his defense and it had gotten to the point where fire meets fire.

 

 

Saturday:

I began my morning with the usual coffee and cigarette, however I could not take in the moment. My mind was not at ease. I decided to text the dealer and arrange for some weed. My plan was to buy it and smoke then go meet Jasmine and go for a milkshake. “Hey, can I buy from you tomorrow?” ‘Sure. You know where to meet me right?’ “Yeah Yeah I do. Can I get a gram of that greenhouse?” ‘Yeah sure I still have stock.’ “For R100/g it better not have seeds or anything and be legit greenhouse.” ‘Don’t worry I know my s**t.’ The deal seemed sealed.

The problem known as Jim seemed to only have one solution. No matter how I tried thinking of alternatives I slowly realised that I would have to fight him. No amount of trying to talk to him would suffice and I had this feeling it had something to do with his parents not engaging with him enough as a child. The time was nearing so I began cycling to school. The cycle went by faster than I expected because my mind was so distracted. 

When I arrived I looked around, but did not really see anyone else there.

Whilst wondering whether or not he is actually going to show I took in the school. I always enjoyed school grounds when nobody else was around. It was tranquil and it seemed like a place with so much potential. So much could happen here, so many minds could be expanded here and so many were indeed. I began scratching through my backpack for a cigarette when I heard Jim’s voice from a distance. ‘Hey f****t!’ he yelled, but I could hear that he was nervous. I did not reply until we were within speaking distance. “Why are we here Jim?” ‘Because you’re a f****t that does not know his place.’ “I disagree…” I began with the hope of reasoning with him that if he simply changes his ways this would not have to happen. He interrupted me as I began my sentence however with a comeback he saw somewhere on the internet ‘-Oh you do know your place? Is it, maybe, on your knees sucking a dick?’ And at this point I interrupted him. With my fist.

I landed a right hand punch harder than I should have in his ribs. He was shocked but now aware and he jumped a bit from leg to leg before throwing his whole force behind a punch. I blocked but it still made it through and got my cheek. I could taste the blood. I jabbed and he blocked and he jabbed and I deflected and landed a punch. Nothing serious enough to end the fight. He flung his knee at my chest and I jumped backward catching it with my hands to stop impact. When I landed I did not let go of his leg and kicked out his other one. He fell to his back winding him without any doubt. I dropped my knee down onto his chest pinning him down while he fought for air. I was not finished. I punched him in the face repeatedly until both my knuckles were covered in both our blood. Both his eyes were swelling and the left one would be blue and purple for the foreseeable future. His one front tooth was a bit loose and blood was coming from out his nose running over it. He was still conscious and I got up. I heard a car driving and parking. I saw it was Mr. Russell however it was not until the next week that I found out someone warned him there would be a fight, I was never sure if it was Jim.

I lit a cigarette and began smoking. It was that Inhale exhale holy s**t I’m pumping with adrenaline kind of cigarette. Jim was slightly groaning as he sat upright looking at me with fear. “Hey Jim…” I began, but first took a drag before carrying on. He would not interrupt me this time “… If you ever call me or anyone else ‘a f****t’ again. I will f*****g kill you.” Now the fear in him increased exponentially and he just stared at me. “You cannot go about bullying humans, rather go see a psychologist. So if I ever find you bullying anyone again. I will kill you.” And his head dropped in shame. I would not really have killed him, but he had to stop his s**t. I inhaled and exhaled watching Mr. Russell walk closer and closer. This dickhead. I began walking in his direction toward my bicycle. He began to speak ‘I have never!-‘ which was when I interrupted, “please sir, I would rather just deal with all this s**t on Monday.” And walked toward my bicycle. He could not believe my arrogance as he was checking if Jim was okay I left.

My cycle home was one filled with contemplation. What was it that caused this lecturer to feel the need to assert his dominance? He seemed to do it impulsively, like this second defense type nature has become all he knows. He acted this way without much thought or deliberation. It really has become his reality and his nature. It made me sad. It did not seem to be his fault it was just what he knew and it made me sad that he has not experienced more of life. I promised myself to always act from my true self and not this fake second nature. I arrived home and took out a cigarette. It was good. The air was fresh with new leaves and I reminded myself that none of this will really matter in 20 years’ time. The seasons will pass as they have before and will ever more. Today was a struggle and there will be better days and there are bound to be more struggles and confrontations in my life and I accepted it. Promising to not compromise for what is considered socially acceptable. I went to bed that night with dry blood on my knuckles and slept like a baby because my conscience was clean.

 

Sunday:

I woke up feeling fresh and as I remembered the amount of s**t I was in, my mood dropped. I remembered beating Jim’s face when he was beyond the point of having just lost and I felt remorse and regret realising the ramifications of my actions. I needed some weed in my life.

“Hey please can we meet today?” I texted. ‘Sure :) what time?’ the dealer replied. “How about 10:30?” ‘Perfect for me.’ I thought about Jasmine for the first time and how I wanted to see her as soon as possible. I would first go buy some weed and smoke up and calm all these nerves I’ve built up over the course of the morning then go to her house and fetch her. I had not gotten her number or told her a time or even a day. I simply said I would meet her this weekend. I had enough time for a coffee and cigarette before beginning my cycle. Inhale and exhale feeling like a badass king. Then I began my journey.

As I began cycling I thought about the fact the streets were so empty. I remembered that people generally aren’t driving Sundays at that time because they were at church or at home still sleeping. Slowly Mr. Russell crept into my mind. I remembered him talking about some sermon he was at. It was a Red-Orchard Baptist Sermonic.  I thought about his red corolla that pulled up at school and I suddenly knew what I had to do. I changed my route and headed straight for that church. As I arrived I knew that the more I hesitated the greater my chances of being caught would be. I ran at a quick pace but kept my head low. As I got to his car I went to the front of his bumper and took out my house keys. I did not stop until I got to the very back of the boot. I then proceeded back to the front of the car causing a second scratch all along the length of the car. I made a third and a fourth and a fifth at which point I realised that I needed to get the f**k out of there. I first stopped and took in what I had done. It was simple and direct. I grabbed my bicycle and sprinted off to the forest to meet the dealer.

I arrived at the forest and hid my bicycle behind some thick bushes. I felt like the police were after me for sure although logically nobody has even noticed it yet. I walked into the forest which really was smaller than one would have wanted and saw that there was nobody else there. I was a few minutes early so I fished away for some smoke. I sparked it and began to clear my mind in the heavenly tranquility this place possessed. Inhale and experience the smell. Exhale and clear you mind a tad more. I heard someone walking behind me and breaking twigs. I heard someone who was walking slightly more cautiously than what I expected. That was when I heard my name.

“Ben? Is that you?” I heard a familiar feminine voice say. As I swung my head around I saw Jasmine standing practically above me holding a bag of weed. “Jasmine! What is going on?” ‘Tell me Ben, were you being a naughty boy planning on smoking weed?’ She asked mockingly. “Tell me Jezebel were you planning on being a criminal and sell me weed?” I asked attempting to raise my eyebrow. We proceeded with laughter and the smoking of weed. She told me about her childhood and her parents and I told her about the time my appendix was removed and I had to spend time in hospital. She told me about her grandmother that was developing a gambling habit and I told her about my uncle that drank away his family’s money. We, at one point, decided to go and buy milkshakes.

“Which flavor would you like?” I asked as we go there. ‘Uhm I think I will try the Peach and Banana milkshake.’ She said and I asked the vendor to just make two of them. We found a booth secluded from any eerie eavesdropping ears. “Do you like the milkshake?” I asked and she seemed uninterested in my question all together. ‘What on earth happened to your hands?’ She asked indication the scabs slightly forming on my knuckles. “I sort of got into a fight.” ‘With whom? And why on earth?’ “Well it began when I noticed him picking on some kid and I thought it was something personal.” ‘no it rarely is’ she wisely interjected. “I believe that the reason he does all of this might be because nobody is stopping him. He is constantly looking for trouble and getting away with it.” ‘Like a kid who never stopped testing his boundaries?’ “Exactly.” I said with a smile. She-really-gets-me kind of thoughts were running through my mind. I may have only known her for a week and already I cared for her greatly. As we walked back to the forest we walked along the beach. We spoke and chatted and conversed for hours. I told her my story and she told me hers. The sun was setting over the blue ocean turning it into a pink orange. The horizon was had big clouds that went deep orange with a gorgeous golden lining. Her beauty went great with the beautiful beach. I told her about my story and she told me hers. The sunlight was dancing on our skin and we stood on leaning against the railing. I slowly leant in closing in to her face. Our lips touched and our hands followed suit. It was simply bliss.

 

The end.

 

 

Author's Note

This is typed with South African/British English. (Flavour not Flavor and realised not realized)