My last everything

This is the last night
of feeling alone,
Just please tell me
everything will be okay.

This is the last time
of being shoved around.
Tell me they're gone
and make me feel better.

This is the last night
my tears will fall.
Pull me into your arms
and fill the void.

This is the last moment
I'll be like this.
My thoughts will fade
and I will disappear.

Reviews

[Angelina]

I like the feeling in your writing. I love it actually. I feel like alot of people write just to erite, and have no meaning behind it, but you clearly do. But I feel like there could have been more thought and time given to this.

[Calypso]

Coming to the end of anything is awful. You want to change and you've thought about it for some time, but when the time comes it makes you feel sick to your core.
Well written and full of emotion.

[The Nude Writer]

Really great statement :) Beautiful words :)

[James Hanna-Magill]

Dawn,

I like your freely speaking profile and I like the way this piece reflects it.

Life is a complex thing and this poem is full of opposites.

Alone ... OK;

Shoved around ... better; and

Tears ... fill the void.

Of course starting every stanza with 'This is the last ...' is a very effective way of lulling us all in.

Just keep talking to us all about what you feel and how you feel. It really doesn't matter what anyone thinks, just spit it out and say it. Tell it as it is.

Writing I have always found is a better way of expressing what I think than talking.

Do sex, roleplaying if you want and misery too. Whatever you feel. I hate stick in the muds; prudes.

Sounds like a poem about being between lovers. Loss and gain.

Sorry to be Mr Grammar, but for what little it's worth - 'Their' in the third line of the second stanza should be 'they're'; 'my' in the third line of the third stanza should be 'me' and I should grow up and get a life.

I have always hoped to find upon my tombstone the meaningful final words to sum me up - 'He could spell'.

Warmest regards,

James

[Dandelion]

Thank you so very much. I did not notice at first and I like people who correct my grammar so no worries.

[Empirik]

tremendous sense of emotion in this write. Lovely structure too. I enjoy and sometimes employ rules to emphasize the theme. Such as having the first four words of every stanza be the same. I loved it. Thank you!!! :)

P.S. Thank you for your review too, I felt really nice reading it.

[Dandelion]

Thank you as well and you are more than welcome(:

[Empirik]

As you are... :D