Lady Temptress

Prose Poetry

 

   She lay spread before me atop her hillside bed, beneath a glistening blanket of pure white. Her virulent attack upon my mind beckons, “come hither, and lie with me this night.”

 

Peering stares from all around were Iris eyes of chambermaids, dressed in lovely satin gowns of lilac mauve and yellow. Beside the woodland's babbling brook, insects waltzed on saffron threads to alluring tones of nature’s strumming cello.

As if a vine of ivy, toxic illusion begins its curling climb, creeping over landscapes designed  within my mind.  I, with watchful eye, beheld sweet petal’s slow demise as her beauty paled at the touch of death’s cold bite, her elemental grandeur gone, beneath the earth her lusty bulb, enshrined.

 

Silently she bowed her head, a gentle spasm and now she’s dead. As a lover, after release, she awaits rebirth, when once again her beauty shall throng this fruitful earth.

 

Alas, lost love vindicated, my phantasm incubated, giving life and substance to m'lady temptress, a lustrous crocus lady indeed.

 

Our kismet long abated... 

Author's Note

This piece was written as a challenge given to me by a friend. He presented a word-bank consisting of: Notated, substance, babble, vindicate(ion), spasm (s), yelp, vine, ivy, crocus, phantasm, cathode, kismet, virulent, elemental & yelp.

It was not necessary to utilize all of them, but I managed to use quite a few. It's still a work in progress as I am unsatisfied with a few things. BUT, as a great poet once said: A poem is never finished, only abandoned!

Although this piece is written from a gentleman's perspective; I am a female. There was no other way to approach this write due to the simple fact: it's written regarding a flower - the crocus lady.

Reviews

[Scott S]

This was a great answer to a worthy challenge. I thoroughly enjoyed the poem. Beautifully written, I find myself reading it over and over.......and probably will continue to do so. I am very selective on what types of poetry I read. It has to grab me, or it doesn't hold my interest. "Lady Temptress" grabbed, and held my attention from start to finish. In this piece the author has penned a breathtaking example of how great poetry should be written. Well done!

[Rockebah]

This is a beautiful piece of writing.What i really love is the choice of words. Good job.

[Alice Bliss]

Very vivid. I feel like I'm amid the beautiful flowers in a bright and magical forest. Awesome choice of words and use of rhyme. I love "...Iris eyes of chambermaids..." as if the Lady Temptress flower is so powerful that she has other flowers to attend to her every need. What a fun personification of flora!

[Antony]

I am in absolute awe of this piece of magnificance, this is one of the best pieces I have ever read on this sight and I have been reading for almost three years. It has it all, a vivd and colorfu description, flowing words that connect perfectly and a touching sentiment. I am so impressed by this and glad I had the opportunity to read it and feel it. Just excellent
Antony

[Yvonne Heidt]

Beautiful job on this. There isn't anything original that I could add to what's already been posted here!

I loved it.

[R J Askew]

Slow moving waters with a cultured eye leading the reader along. Has a leisurly Victorian feel.

[C. M. Miller]

Even as a "work in progress," this classic style poem sent my mind elsewhither, so much so, that it took some effort to rejoin the 21st century. Whilst reading the poem I was hearing in my minds eye (pretzel phrase, that!) Kate Bush or Laura McKennitt singing along; such an ethereal quality this poem emotes. Ah, to be with a constant temptress in flower . . .

This is beautiful! I think you won this challenge! It is very good. Very eloquent!

[Mercury Mirrors]

I couldn't find anything to improve on this one. it's beautiful. Thanks for reviewing 'Midnight Toll' by the way ^^.

[emmajoy]

This reminds me of words penned by ancients, the style in which it's written could be accompanied by the sound of a harp or lyre. Or, maybe, the words are a form of music in themselves. You're writing of a flower '... she awaits rebirth when once again...' and yet I'm not sure. Whether analogy or not.. it's beautiful.

I'll look in again to see how or if you've altered it or whatever.