You Know Im Only Two

This is a piece I was asked to do a long time ago about child abuse..... its not my best because I was rhyming all the time back then.... but I tried ;)

You Know I’m just Two

 

Mommy what’s the matter?

What did I do wrong?

Was I singing to loud?

While I was humming a song.

 

Daddy what did I do ?

Can I fix it for you?

I didn’t mean to break it.

You know I’m only two

 

Shut up you brat

You make me sick

mommy don’t say that

I’ll show you a trick.

 

Daddy please don’t hit me

I wont do it again.

The cup on the table

was to close to the edge

 

Mommy don’t lock me away

in my room where it’s dark.

Cant you and daddy see

that you’re breaking my heart

 

You know I’m just a baby

please lower your tone  

I only repeat what I see

what I learn in my home

 

Mommy please hold me tight

all I want is your love.

Instead all I get is a huff

and a shove.

 

Oh I really did it now

Daddy’s getting the belt

He hit me so hard

that I can’t cry for help

 

All I see now is dark

why did I have to die

I loved you so much

and I really did try.

all I needed was love

that’s all you had to do

Why wouldn’t you see that

You  knew I was just two

 

 

By : Debbie Kelly

 

 

 

Author's Note

This is a piece I was asked to do a long time ago about child abuse..... its not my best because I was rhyming all the time back then.... but I tried ;) Im posting allot from my old journal.... thanks for reading

Reviews

[seath]

i think this poem just needs a little polishing when it comes to diction while taking in consideration the rhyme that is desired for the piece, but I can say this is rich in the imagery which gives the readers empathy for the poetic persona. To achieve a reliable narrator effect i think you have to use flashback in the narration of the poetic persona.

I think you intend to use "too" in these lines instead of using "to".
"was to close to the edge"
"Was I singing to loud"

[Debbie_Philly]

Yes Seth... it is in need of editing.... I did this as a project for child abuse a few years ago when I had some work to do with my writing... i should have made the edits before I reposted... Thank you so much for your review and your help ;)

[Debbie_Philly]

Ooppsss...lol. I mean Seath. Sorry about that

[The Rock And Roll Cowbo..]

Child abuse is so sad... but when the child feels like it is their fault it is even more appalling... such a sad write but so is the subject matter.

[Debbie_Philly]

Thank u my dear friend!!!

[The Rock And Roll Cowboy(REBEL WITH A CAUSE)]

My pleasure young lady.

[Zubier_abd]

this was lovely and i could really put myself in the shoes of the child and could feel her pain and bewilderment while reading the poem. nicely done. :)

[Debbie_Philly]

Thank you so much Zubier !! It is very sad to see... and I hope that i did it justice.... it was for a anthology.... :)

[Rhianne Ney]

You've tried and it was good... just don't push yourself when you try something...
Relax...
Anyway, this is a good write, please keep writing (:

[Debbie_Philly]

Thank you so much Rhianne !!! :)

[Rhianne Ney]

You're welcome

[Mia]

Wow! I can only imagine how difficult this was to write whether you have a personal experience or not. This was such a brave thing to write and for such a worthy cause. It breaks my heart to read this but it is so important to read. You can't just pretend that this is not someone's reality. If children have to live through this the least we could do is make a stand against it. Thank you for sharing this beautiful and touching poem.

[Debbie_Philly]

Thank you Mia..I have had to call on some that were beating the children... there is no way to hear that and not do something... I see it on the buses and subways as well and i cant stand to see it and i cant stand to know that people will not help..... IIf I had the money i would open a shelter.... this is my wish.... thank you so much for reading and understanding !! :)

[Mia]

We do what we can with what we have. You have a voice and you're using it and that's great! It really is my pleasure!

[emmajoy]

Brilliantly sad, full of wretchedness that makes a body sit and wish this wasn't
true.. but it is, it is. Have written similar myslef, Debbie, so have many others and such has to be repeated time and time again until more awareness, every second of the day awareness, is part of our somewhat selfish 'civilisation'

Read a second time and .. so sad. Thank you, dear friend.

[Debbie_Philly]

Thank you so so much Emma.... this was hard to write because its so hard to imagine.... we have to save the children for sure !!!

[ba_mcfarlane]

Kudos. I couldn't have written this. It is a courageous piece. It moved me, disturbed me. Really disturbed me.That is not a bad thing. My discomfort flags this as a great write, to my way of thinking.

[Debbie_Philly]

Thank you so much.... it was really hard to wrote a piece for this subject... it always haunts me to know that someone would hurt a child like this.... Thank you so much for reading :)

[Debbie_Philly]

Whoops I mean write not wrote...lol

[Forest Green]

Soulsearching piece of a side of life that is truly terrifying...how does this go on...!

But it does, senselessly...and you've opened the topic up with care.

[Debbie_Philly]

Steel thank you so much....I was a new writer then and wasnt sure if this was the way to go.... but this subject must be addressed.... thank you so much for reading !! :)

[Angie]

Hi Debbie! It's nice to have found a friend on here! This was such a sad poem. All I could think of was my Grandson (who is only just two!) Made me want to cry!

[Debbie_Philly]

Awww Its so nice to meet you Angie... :) Yes this was a challenge poem from a few years ago... it had to rhyme and it was about child abuse... a very heat wrenching subject that I care deeply about.. I was concerned about this though because having to rhyme it... I didn't want to take away from the seriousness of it... hugs to your grandson and thank you so much for the wonderful review !! :)