The House on the Hill

The House on the Hill

A Poem by Debra Stevens Edwards (debby)
"

A Tall Tale

"

The House on The Hill
The House on the Hill

When you walk past the house on the Hill,
It feels like deaths haunting cold chill.

The stories they tell about that place,
Beautiful woman, tears on her face,

I wondered why this woman cried.
I also wondered why she died.

The library seemed the place to go,
When you had a needed to know.

I read newspapers found not a word.
The hall of records were things occur

The name way to familiar to me.
My grandmother Elisa Applebee,

Had a thirst for knowledge it seems
Grandfather died she often dreams

Far off places she longed to travel.
There is a mystery here to unravel.

I found what I have been looking for,
Found her research and facts Galore,

I search old photos and finally found.
A photo of her, a book tightly bound.

Same woman at the house I had seen.
I was stuck in a nightmarish dream.

At the library she checked out this book.
That moment she seemed to be hooked.

As I read the house drew me in its grasp.
The black-outs filling my memory lapse.

I have gone too far in,Life at Steak
Reading this it may not be too late.

House is yours but go inside its walls.
Unbelievable horrors a house recalls.

Destroy the book it is a gateway to hell.
As many before me have known so well,

Keep the house but let no one enter inside.
There is no escape and no place to hide.

The book "House on Haunted Hill "
Under the photo I found her last Will.

Warning all who read it may be trapped.
I may never find my way out I will adapt.

I cry to warn others tempted to stay away.
It sucks you in here you will forever stay.

1/22/2009
By Debra Edwards


copyright
Debra Edwards

© 2009 Debra Stevens Edwards (debby)


My Review

Would you like to review this Poem?
Login | Register




Featured Review

I like this and the story that it tells. However, the rhythm in stanzas 1, 6, 7, 8, 13, and 14 is off. Most of these could be fixed by reading them out loud and deleting a word. In a few lines, you have two sentences stuck together without punctuation. This one is an example.

"I fear that I have gone much too far in I feel like bate. "

There needs to be some kind of punctuation between "in" and "I feel"
Also, "bate" should be spelled "bait."

If you fix these minor errors, this will be a great poem.

Posted 11 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.




Reviews

I love this. It makes you feel a bit uneasy. I also love that you don't elaborate much on the ending, letting the imagination kick in.

Posted 10 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Breath taking. Sounds like a run down of my book. Loved this. Thanks for sharing.

Posted 11 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

I like this and the story that it tells. However, the rhythm in stanzas 1, 6, 7, 8, 13, and 14 is off. Most of these could be fixed by reading them out loud and deleting a word. In a few lines, you have two sentences stuck together without punctuation. This one is an example.

"I fear that I have gone much too far in I feel like bate. "

There needs to be some kind of punctuation between "in" and "I feel"
Also, "bate" should be spelled "bait."

If you fix these minor errors, this will be a great poem.

Posted 11 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Very Nice. I get a much better image in my mind reading it now. It tells the whole story and does so in a very smooth manner. I think I'll save this one. Great Job.

Posted 11 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

I liked it alot. I was a little disappointed that you didnt continue. What traps you in? What is the rest of the story. other than that it was good.

This review was written for a previous version of this writing

Posted 11 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.


Request Read Request
Add to Library My Library
Subscribe Subscribe


Stats

372 Views
5 Reviews
Rating
Added on January 22, 2009
Last Updated on February 21, 2009
Previous Versions

Author

Debra Stevens Edwards (debby)
Debra Stevens Edwards (debby)

Long Beach, CA



About
I am a single parent of six daughters. I write as a release of emotions I'm feeling. At times I write to entertain my girls or just because I have something to say. My goal is to publish a book of .. more..

Writing