asleep

Lay besides me

and count my heartbeats

count them till im asleep

count them till you're tired.

dont fall asleep but watch me as i do

watch me as  i dream about you,

about us two...

and when you're hungry,

dont you eat

cos i will feed you

with my love indeed.

it aint much but its all that i have

i hope you're happy

happy till the end.

Reviews

[...]

it s can be also good for singing. have very good rhytmus and words nice jumping . very nice expression of love.

[DeadDreamer]

Very lovely! The only main problems that I can see are grammatical errors, which can be easily fixed. Apostrophes and such. Overall, I like where you went with this. Don't we all wish love were that innocent?