Forever The Good Girl

It was hours before I realized
I had told the same lie again
With practiced poise and expertise
I explained the issue Love
Scraping its complexities into a neat, pretty bow
I beamed at my creation.

She eyed me carefully
Slowly, then more forcefully, she nodded
With a sigh, she deferred to my logic-
How could she not?
It made perfect sense; my perfect lie.
I nearly believed it myself.

It was hours before I remembered you.
The crazy weird wonderful roller-coaster ride -
The one we never really consented to go on.
It probably wasn't good; it certainly made little sense.
Haha, goodness, I'd leap on it again, without thought
If only I could.

They smile at me, and I nod wisely
Each day, when asked, I repeat my lie
How can I tell them?
That your words still echo in my heart.
That I miss you still, every single day.
I wish it made sense.

How I cannot possibly imagine being happy with anyone else
That the ride was wonderful, and I cherish it
That I cannot step forward, because I keep looking back -
Back at you.
It wasn't wise, it probably wasn't good.
I will - oh, I certainly will - go back...if only I could.

Alas, I am again the good girl. Tomorrow,
I shall bore the world with my tidy-bowed lies,
Mentally burning all thoughts of you...again. And again.
Dazzling them all with my steadfastness.
I shall pretend that I am happy, with all the right answers.
For Heaven forbid, that they truly look and see the truth -
I am, sincerely and forever The Good Girl.
 

Reviews

[DaughterNature]

I think you've got some powerful emotions wrapped up in this piece, but in this draft it's a little difficult for the reader to tease them all apart.

As I read your poem, at first I thought it was about emotional or psychological abuse, perhaps in a romantic relationship. But then it seemed like this might be a getting-over-a-breakup poem. Make sure that your wording and images are clear so that others who read your poem can understand and picture the story.

I also always like to remind people that free verse is hard because you could break your lines and stanzas anywhere. Rather than haphazardly, try to make all of these breaks with clear intentions.

Cheers!

[Kelly Scheppers]

"Dazzling them all with my steadfastness". You most assuredly dazzled me. Free verse is a wonderful thing - it gives you wings, and a freedom to express yourself without limits. I've been writing for twenty plus years. I find you most refreshing and exuberant!