Counting plastic bags

A second person account of life in the foster care system, real life story....

they hand you another trash bag and tell you to fill it. that's all you get to keep one flimsy bag's worth of life. The first time you pack the picture of your mom and dad and the photo album your brother made you. you bring the stuffed pony from when you still slept with a night light and the dress you wore to the funerals. three houses later the pony is stained and missing an ear  and the photos burnt up in the fireplace as "Mommy" as she wanted to be called made you watch. You've learnt to ferret away a store of food whenever you can, because who knows when you will be fed again and the cross that came from the "first ones" got tossed in the trash after hundreds of prayers for a good home fell on seemingly deaf ears.

this time when they hand you the bag you know everything you have will still leave it half empty and you’ve stopped caring if the garbage bag smell will seep back into your clothes. You go to the new school and people smile but you don't bother the respond you'll be gone by this time next month. It's always a short stay no wants to keep the one with "problems". Somewhere between the first house and this one your eyes acquired a jaded look, your laugh a bitter tint and a multitude of scars. Deaf kids have a lot of "accidents" it seems. You used to hope the next family would want you, now you know they won't and don't even try to change their minds. Seven months and twelve days until eighteen. six more black plastic bags full of life until you're a real person again. Smile for the family Christmas picture with the four others, this will be the last one.

 

Want to know how I know what it's like? Well…you are me and I am you.

Life sucks doesn't it? I think so too.

Reviews

[Tegon Maus]

I'm sorry for your pain. It gets better... I promise. Well writen, good visuals. I hpoe you're not this sad but just write this well.

[crazysox]

This is so sad and tragic....It brought tears to my eyes. I can't imagine how life has been for you, if this is a true story. How sad :'(

Wow. I don't even care that there are grammar errors, this is just tragic. I'm so sorry for the loss. I want to just give you a hug right now.