Make Believe

Make Believe

A Poem by DeliriousCerises
"

Another less than happy love poem

"
I want to love you, I really do.
I think you really want to love me too.

We act the part as lovers do,
But loving is something
We only rue.

You take from me what you can get.
I give and give
Building up regret.

Then I take it back,
In the cruelest way.
With misplaced anger in the things I say

You try to pretend
It's all well and fine.
I try to pretend
You were meant to be mine

And everyday,
We pretend to be blind.
We try to forget
Things not well and fine.

And when it all begins to fall apart.
You pull at the strings
Attached to my heart.

And you silence my cries,
And my angry retorts,
With desperate threats as your last resort.

And we play this game all night and day.
Until your final coercion
Is the first thing you say.

I grit my teeth,
And bear a grin,
And this is how you always win.

But I see the truth,
And you do too.
Still we play the part of lovers true.

Without the love we wish we had,
We're meant to be
Forever sad.

But I'll pretend we're meant to be.
While you pretend
You still love me.

© 2012 DeliriousCerises


Author's Note

DeliriousCerises
Have some thoughts? Feel free to share them with me.

P.S. This was inspired after reading this lovely poem ---> http://www.writerscafe.org/writing/EAGLE-CRUAGH/414942/

My Review

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Featured Review

OK, I'm sure you realise the setup of the poem is basic as well as the rhyming scheme not being too complicated but it works and is executed well. I like the soft tone to each rhyme, it sort of contrasts the underlying level of spite and loathing which leaves a nice taste to the point.

You get a sense the poem is building up to an explosive climax but then simmers down again and that makes it more realistic, because in many relationships you are describing/featuring in this poem that's exactly what happens.

I can relate 100% to this poem. It's very true to life without being complex or pretentious. That I think deserves credit.

"But I'll pretend we're meant to be.
While you pretend
You still love me."

This was a nice ending. Sometimes settling for that love even if it's a bit fabricated feels a better idea than letting it go. It's like Dan le Sac vs Scroobius Pip said: "There's a weight over me today, something I have to say, love too much to leave, don't like you enough to stay."

In the end I don't know what the answer is. Consolidation to consider and value the feelings of someone else? Or will that rot with time in a broken relationship destined to fail?

You hit upon these points to people who are in your situation, maybe to those who don't have experience in that situation won't get it and because of it's simple nature it may be a bit harder to relate. I'd say as it was very subtle not everyone will feel the force of it and probably see it to be more calm than it really is.

Whenever I write "grinding my teeth" I'm f*****g grinding them as I type that s**t. So that's interesting to see.

I think the poem says a lot about you, though, probably more so than you'd imagine. It's a nice introspective piece and lets us see more of the poet than just her words.

Is there any reason you chose to do stanzas of four lines and then three without any sort of reflection? I noticed in your work you have a lot more structure and stability than mine, but this one seemed a bit misconstrued in that respect?

I like it though, as I think the message it is giving is a worthwhile one and while basic, it's effective and certainly not poorly done. I can relate to it and agree with the points you are making. I like the continued use of "lovers" too, it's a very ambiguous term and worked well within the context of the poem. That is definitely suggestive of what you know I am thinking, as perhaps it has no place in a review to hit upon that element of the relationship.

Posted 8 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.




Reviews

The majority of the rhymes work well and I thought this was a topic you don't see expressed very often. There are love poems galore and end of romance too, but not this love you, not, better than being alone, I guess, kind of write. The last stanza says it all.

Posted 8 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

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Pax
powerful ending. i enjoyed it..

Posted 8 Years Ago


I like this, it's moving and I can definitely relate.

Posted 8 Years Ago


Simple, but powerful
A very sad poem about a love that seems to have merely fizzled out noone caring enough to fight it or to bring up the problems, everyone just letting things slide.
Beautifully and well documented once again.

The rhyming can feel a little forced in parts, but it dosent take too much away as the gentle but repetitive ryhming in this happens to also have a positive effect on the way the words read. Brilliant ryhtm aswell.

Posted 8 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

OK, I'm sure you realise the setup of the poem is basic as well as the rhyming scheme not being too complicated but it works and is executed well. I like the soft tone to each rhyme, it sort of contrasts the underlying level of spite and loathing which leaves a nice taste to the point.

You get a sense the poem is building up to an explosive climax but then simmers down again and that makes it more realistic, because in many relationships you are describing/featuring in this poem that's exactly what happens.

I can relate 100% to this poem. It's very true to life without being complex or pretentious. That I think deserves credit.

"But I'll pretend we're meant to be.
While you pretend
You still love me."

This was a nice ending. Sometimes settling for that love even if it's a bit fabricated feels a better idea than letting it go. It's like Dan le Sac vs Scroobius Pip said: "There's a weight over me today, something I have to say, love too much to leave, don't like you enough to stay."

In the end I don't know what the answer is. Consolidation to consider and value the feelings of someone else? Or will that rot with time in a broken relationship destined to fail?

You hit upon these points to people who are in your situation, maybe to those who don't have experience in that situation won't get it and because of it's simple nature it may be a bit harder to relate. I'd say as it was very subtle not everyone will feel the force of it and probably see it to be more calm than it really is.

Whenever I write "grinding my teeth" I'm f*****g grinding them as I type that s**t. So that's interesting to see.

I think the poem says a lot about you, though, probably more so than you'd imagine. It's a nice introspective piece and lets us see more of the poet than just her words.

Is there any reason you chose to do stanzas of four lines and then three without any sort of reflection? I noticed in your work you have a lot more structure and stability than mine, but this one seemed a bit misconstrued in that respect?

I like it though, as I think the message it is giving is a worthwhile one and while basic, it's effective and certainly not poorly done. I can relate to it and agree with the points you are making. I like the continued use of "lovers" too, it's a very ambiguous term and worked well within the context of the poem. That is definitely suggestive of what you know I am thinking, as perhaps it has no place in a review to hit upon that element of the relationship.

Posted 8 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

This is a very interesting poem. I can feel the pain this causes, to pretend to love someone. It is very well portrayed in every word you wrote. This was a pleasure to read, as it was very well written. Great job!

Posted 8 Years Ago


1 of 2 people found this review constructive.


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6 Reviews
Added on July 11, 2012
Last Updated on December 10, 2012

Author

DeliriousCerises
DeliriousCerises

About
You can call me Cherry. I love all forms of art, they are like therapy for the soul. I used to write, stories and poem and such, but then I stopped for a long time. All I did was journal, but recently.. more..

Writing



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