My Existence

I'm there when you need me, or so I thought.

Do you notice me there, in the corner of your eye?

While you gather friends, smile, laugh, and lie?

Do you notice I'm still here when they leave you alone?

You're devastated and miserable-but never on your own.

When the world around you breaks and falls away,

and you're isolated, desolated in this deceitful play--

when everything else falls away, then you notice me...

 

You're a hearthrob and a heartstop, but you just want a friend,

and so I'll always stand beside you, always, until the end.

The world sweeps you off your feet, and you'll forget me here,

but I'll always forgive you, and I'll always be near.

And when the current tosses you ashore, and you're alone again,

I try to be the friend I promised to be, collect your pieces and mend.

And when you can stand you return to the ones that shatter you,

get washed away and think of the ones you matter to.

My existence in your eyes comes when you want comfort,

but once you walk again, it's the thought of me you contort...

 

The shallow world you run to doesn't even know my name,

and no matter how much you fall to it, you're just the same.

The afterimage of better people crawling to some fad,

and you cling to them, and yet I'm the one who's sad?

But really, who gives a s**t? It's you who chose this play,

and rather you wake up or not, true friends back you anyway.

 

I've seen your mistake once before,

suffered your pain I've learned to abhor.

Remembered the times you were there for me,

Thought you'd understand that became a reality.

Maybe I should shut the f**k up, what do I know?

I haven't been everyday, never had a say in your show.

For me to have the audacity to put my nose in your business,

speak with my head high like I understand this emptiness...

Please forgive these bitter words I've chosen,

wrote for you, rather than spoken.

Understand please, that I've always held you close to my heart,

and to see you desert me for them will always tear me apart.

My existence to you I hope is always as a friend,

even if you've chosen to disregard me in the end.

 

Am I just the one you're calling a let down?

Is all the light I saw in you just a shallow, empty sound?

All the time I confided in you and took in all your words,

I dried your tears and spoke my heart-I bled for the birds...

 

You're a hearthrob and a heartstop, but you just want a friend,

and so I'll always stand beside you, always, until the end.

You're devastated and miserable-but never on your own.

When the world around you breaks and falls away,

and you're isolated, desolated in this deceitful play--

when everything else falls away, then you notice me...

 

Author's Note

Sorry if there are grammar errors, I haven't gone over this yet...
Just badly needed to get the thought off my chest.

Reviews

[PoetryXpressions]

The emotions felt within your write are very raw and heartfelt. This is a very sad, but well penned write.
Sounds to me that you really want to be more than friends with this person but that's all there willing to give and even though it hurts you your willing to take that ...maybe hoping someday things will change...just what I got of the poem...could be wrong ...and just my opinion. It what I got out of it when I read it. Wishing you all the best.