*TITLE PENDING*

I was just thinking...

Somethings need to be escaped,

yet i continously find myself

speaking to you

*like light matches and throwing them

on a pile of papers*
I know you well enough

to understand with me,

you hold no good intentions.

*Yet i light candles, and leave them in open spaces,

waiting for them to be knocked over*

I know your game,

similar to how the moon knows the oceans tides

and as temperatures rise....

*I wonder,

how long to we have to play with fire....

before we get burned?*

Reviews

[Michael X]

This is nice Danni, visual and passionately projected with vivd emotional imagery
beautiful first draft, minus the few grammer and spelling errors,
I think the details came through, conceptual in design, the last stanza
would have remained perfect in pattern consistancy if it were two lines.
metaphorically well thought out, keep up the nice work.

[☮]

I liked this a lot. I saw this aa an internal battle of knowing what is bad for you, yet doing it anyway. Playing with fire for the rush, until inevitably being hurnt. Nice analogies.

I loved:

"I know your game,
similar to how the moon knows the ocean's tides"

You're stepping it up. Nice work!

[Spat Queen]

It is interesting the way you turned fire into something of a destructive force of energy. I have always found fire to be very invigorating. I suppose fire, to me, is like an infant or a wild animal it needs assistance. It needs to be attended to and even tamed which takes patience and skill. Without the moon the ocean would have no tides. Beautifully penned and thought provoking. Nice work.

[Lyrical Love]

With some minor adjustments...this is an excellent write.
I love the contrasting colors only not red and green-maybe red and
black (would make a better statement of what I think that you are trying to convey to the
reader...
You are involved with someone that you know is not good for you. You know the pain that is going to come
from going there.
Secondly, ...like light matches-change that to lighting;
I have used the lower case 'i' as a way of how I felt about myself...use it with consistency-like only in the red (when the writer is weak).
" how long (to) we have to play with fire...." change the to, or add something there...
I love the play, and dance with the words (flow).
Great job!

[Marvin Lewis Jr.]

This is a very passionate and artistic piece that can be interpreted in many different ways, I believe that is the quality that separates "great" writers from "good" writers and after reading the majority of your material you've proven that you're a great writer!
I like the pace and the vivid imagery and I also respect your ability to paint such a vast picture with so few words.
As always I enjoyed reading!


-Marvin Lewis