Puzzling places, Indecent minds

We walk in, smiles adjusted

Placidly

on our faces

 

Hiding

our lonely eyes,

feasting hearts

No one

speaks

 

We chatter

 

In blindness, security

we only think that

we're holding on

a

moment

longer

 

As we drown our minds

timidly over-looking

 

S

I

L

E

N

C

E

 

and repose

 

We smooth our mask

 

Perfect

In..place...

 

And decide

there

isn't any such

redemption

Author's Note

Had a little trouble with the ending...

Reviews

[Bard Constantine]

Much ado about nothing is the usual topic for the day for the average group of people... nonstop chatter about subjects of no consequence to cover the sound of our own emptiness... you hit the nail on the head with this one...

[~~~~~]

I really like this one. At some point we all do it. Humans practise the art of obscurity. We, generally speaking, don and pretend to appease yet only deceive ourselves in the end. We hide our hearts and true self to fit within a norm but the pain of imprisonment lives within us. Deteriorating. Can one find any self-solace or complacency in fabrication? I like the ending as well as the form.

[al25]

Very good setup. Again another great piece of wriring by you. Really enojyed reading your work.

I like to see this type of playful nature with structure. This is something a bit different than I've seen from you. Good job experimenting with structure. Thanks.

[FocusedAmnesia]

I love the format of your pieces. Choosing 'redemption' as the last word was a nice choice. Great read.

[nono]

I have a little trouble thinking how to word thing sometimes too. But you did a nice job i like it a lot. nice job!

[Norma M Sutton]

This reads well.

[Candylove.]

honestly, the ending is perfect. ha
Exceptional poem, i love it. :)

[Poetic Beauty]

I think the ending wraps up this poem nicely. It is done a style in which it makes me think that the person or persons are thinking these thoughts in their own mind trying to figure out what they want and reliving memories. It flows smoothly

[Lighthouse Call]

It reminds me of the song by muse..
"I want to recognise your beauty's not just a mask."
Who ever knew how silence can be so loud sometimes?
Its a great write! I like your style. Good emphasis.
Yes, the ending could get better, but its really good this way. Maybe a second review could help. :)