I felt the warmth of your smile

I felt the warmth of your smile

A Poem by Moonflower

 

 

We laughed the night away

and

You made love to me beneath

a star scattered sky

 

I'll never let this go

even though

Summer faded into Autumn

with those

warm, eastern winds

 

Your face was reflected

against the water

rippling with our voices

 

I sighed and took your hand

Loving the feel of skin against skin

fingertips dancing

to the rhythm of our foot steps

 

Lets watch the seasons change

and I'll hold your image in my grasp

Empty pockets won't hold back

our happiness

 

© 2010 Moonflower


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Reviews

good writing which attracts me. good wishes.

Posted 13 Years Ago


Very vivid and romantic

Posted 13 Years Ago


I'll agree with Miss Coral below, in that you need to be more consistent with your grammar in terms of verb tenses. You go from past to present, to past again and back to the present :S
The imagery is nice, but you could have gone further and made this poem your own.

btw...is there a reason why "and" is on the 2nd line by itself? Seems silly to have split the lines up since it does not add anything to the stanza.

Posted 13 Years Ago


I loved this. Especially this stanza

Your face was reflected
against the water
rippling with our voices

Posted 13 Years Ago


0 of 1 people found this review constructive.

This is wonderful and lovely. Enjoyed reading this.

Posted 13 Years Ago


0 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Love this piece- I would recommend being more consistent grammatically, but otherwise, this was flawless. The voice and imagery in this were wonderfully penned, and carried your signature of delicate but powerful emotions.

Great write.

-Coral-

Posted 13 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

"Loving the feel of skin against skin" this line is just amazing.Giving someone credit for their smile..is what is worth about...take care..keep writing:)

Posted 13 Years Ago


0 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Oh, if only all women could love for the sake of love alone. Lovely read.

Posted 13 Years Ago


0 of 1 people found this review constructive.

this is a good poem, i liked it. i like the way you said "empty pockets wont hold back out happiness" it makes me think of how people say money cant buy everything (such as happiness in this poem). it also reminds me of a summer romance "summer faded into autumn" this is just an all around good poem. well done and keep up the good work.

Posted 13 Years Ago


sweet and delicate moments... very nice.

Posted 13 Years Ago



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Added on September 20, 2010
Last Updated on September 20, 2010

Author

Moonflower
Moonflower

Louisville, KY



About
Hello :) My name is Desiree. What brings me to this website is my love for poetry and storytelling. At this time I consider myself more of a poet, than a writer or author. I do not have the pa.. more..

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