Inside Me

Inside Me

 

You want to get inside my head

You never know what I’m thinking

You never know what I’m feeling

And you’re dying to know

You’re dying to crawl under my skin

And realise what keeps me going

 

You want to know if I think about you

When you’re not around

You want to know if I will reach out to you

When you start to miss me

And you test me

But I never pass

Because I don’t let you win

 

You try to see behind my eyes

See what I see

See things from my side

From my point of view

But it’s so hard

Because one look at my eyes

And you’re drowning in a pool of milk chocolate

 

You try to see behind my smile

Maybe I’m hiding something

But you can’t get past the bright white teeth

And my pink lips spread so wide

You’d rather just sink in

And get lost

Than figure me out

 

You’ve gone days and nights

Wondering about me

How can you get close

How can you make me feel

The way you feel

You examine me like you would an exam

Trying to get yourself that A+

But always ending up with a C-

 

And you study till I’m pushing at the walls of your mind

Till I’m leaking out of your ears

Till I’m pushing at the back of your eyes

Till I’m trying to escape through the gaps in your teeth

Trying to push your tongue off my head and make a run for it

You study me till I’m sucked into your brain

Bouncing off of pink clouds

Taken away by red water

Flowing through your veins

And I know every inch of you

I see inside you

I am inside you

 

But after all this

Capturing me inside you

You still are far away

From finding your way inside me

Author's Note

Another way of describing how to get under someones skin :P

Enjoy!

Reviews

[C.]

I really liked this a lot :)

[Coyote Poetry]

I like to have some separation. When two people become one. Something must get lost. I like the thoughts and the logic of the poem. Good to be free of control and thoughts. No weakness in the excellent poem.
Coyote

[Victoria Elizabeth]

very good, keep it up

[Damien Davison]

Great write! It was a pleasure to read it, such an amazing poem. I'd like to quote a few lines for my favorite ha, but I'll stuck with the last stanza. A perfect ending, nicely done!

[Androglossia]

Wow, this is clever. Truly heartbreaking but good all the same:)

[LuthienThalia]

Excellent job. I can feel the amusement at the attempts to get under your skin.

[Ice QueenJen]

I thoroughly enjoyed this poem, and a good way of putting how someone tries to know you yet falls short. And good job on writing this too!

[James William Dyer]

I agree with the commentor below about the line pertaining to the exam. However, I liked the controlling aspect of this poem and its edginess, those can be difficult things to admit in a poem. This poem is a really good opportunity to throw in additional imagery. There are so many things that physically get under our skin that can be compared to a person who does that mentally. Splinters, shards of glass, dirt under the fingernails, nicoteen patches, syringes, thumbtacks we step on, etc. I enjoyed the poem quite a bit.

[James William Dyer]

This line: "You examine me like you would an exam'" is the one wanting stitches, in my opinion

[Destinyxi]

Yeah, I agree haha. But like I asked the commentor below, what would be good to replace that?

[James William Dyer]

"you review me like you would a test"
or maybe: "you appraise me like your flunked and pencil-marked exams"
or "you scrutinize me like you do exams", it's mostly the repeating of the word exam, sounds clumsy in that line, but you'd want to keep the word exam at the end, probably, since it's a better word than test, in my opinion, for this poem.

[Destinyxi]

Yeah, alright, I'll work with it. Thanks for replying haha :P

[khalid]

very nicely penned...out of familiar topics, out of the box, i really enjoyed..

[John Alexander McFadyen]

Hi Destinyxi, this sounded a little controlling, mocking one who would know someone they had affection for and feeling happy to deny them. it flows well but is perhaps a litle 'over egged'.I found the line' You examine me like you would an exam' careless and a little clumsy. overall it is a good read and is full of emotional expression.

[Destinyxi]

Hm, how would you change that line? I wasn't a fan of using exam in one line either :P

Thanks for your review!

[John Alexander McFadyen]

maybe, you examined me like you would an experiment