Seeds of hope

A green prayer...

SEEDS OF HOPE

 

Dreams of deserts, deserted in dreams

Patchwork fields ripped apart at the seams

Sew up solutions in divided land

Some will crawl while others stand

Leaders come and leaders go

Progress slow as warm wind blows

Sand encroaches on fertile fields

Like cockroaches destroying yields.

The Sandman fills their dreams with fear

The Goddess will be barren this year.

Plant seeds of hope and pray for rebirth

To green the deserts of this Earth.

 

D.Hinson

Reviews

[Hilarie.Hope]

Title - I love the title of your poem. It caught my attention, for sure. Lovely.


Style and Voice - The poem seems to have an angry/remorseful overtone to it. Towards the end the reader sees a glimmer of hope with the lines, "Plant seeds of hope and pray for rebirth/To green the deserts of this Earth". Nice touch.


Word Choice - You have some wonderfully visual, imaginative writing. I love the wording. It really brings to piece to life in the reader's mind. Very descriptive writing.


Figurative Language - There's figurative language interspersed widely throughout this piece, but it's not overkill. The metaphors are what add such creativity to this poem.


Rhyme and Rhythm - This poem rhymes and you pulled it off fantastically! Personally, I'm not very good with rhymes, but you seem to have it down. I just can't get over how much talent this poem shows.


Imagery - Absolutely stupendous imagery. I think I've already somewhat covered this. Your writing is descriptive and truly plays out in the reader's head.


Theme and Meaning - My interpretation of this poem is that it is a commentary on the world's sorry current state of affairs. People are divided, the governments are drowning in their problems, Mother Earth is suffering from our mistakes, our ignorance and greed. It's very thought-provoking.

Spelling, Grammar, Etc. - No mistakes that I can see.

Personal Opinion - I love it. This poem touched me. You got emotion out of me and as far as I'm concerned, that's what separates the "good" writing from the "not-so-good". Good writing, either gently or forcefully, pulls emotion from the reader, whether it be love, hate, sadness, fear, jealousy or joy. This poem covers a wide spectrum of emotions, which I think is great, too.
Good job:]

[emmajoy]

Wonderful poem, wonderful writing.

The thought of what Man is doing and has done to Earth is abominable, there's no going back either .. what we've done has fatally poisoned and there's no antidote, no cure for what's happened.

People like you with sincere concern can only keep shouting out in whatever possible way they can ..
'Plant seeds of hope and pray for rebirth ~~ To green the deserts of this Earth.'


Fine writing and fine ethics. Thank you for sharing them.

[Sasavet]

I love this. It can be taken in so many different ways. It can be literal and be saying how the earth is slowly breaking down, or can be symbolic showing the slow fading and destruction of something important to you. This is so beautiful, good work.

[Laura Nikkinen]

The poem raises awareness of an environmental problem, if you wanna read it literally, but the political dimension of it is wonderfully intertwined in there, that's how i understood it.

[Katherine Hall]

A very visually compelling, and well constructed poem. Great music, great word choice. Love the image of a desert slowly taking over fertile land.
~Katherine

[Lizanne]

Absolutely, visually stunning. You paint a picture with every verse. Not one was wasted by being full of empty words. To take mother earth and destroy her as mankind has with their modern technology, is a hugh sin. In the name of progress we are preparing to throw ourselfs backwards. We are rapidly destroying everything needed for mankinds survival. The earth needs time to heal itself from everything that we have poured upon her in the air, water and land. If we do not allow this we are doomed to a vast land of waste and famine. A wonderful writing, but dark prophecy of how the earth will repay her grievances against us.

[54321]

This is a thoughtful poem.
It reminds me of a classic novel: The Grapes of Wrath.
I'm also feeling references to the civil war.
This poem is full!