Us

...You... <3

Lost,

Away at sea,

Without you,

Thats where I would be.

Broken,

In more pieces then two,

Thats my heart,

Without you.

Alone,

Is you not here,

There are people around,

But I dont care.

Us,

The way I like it to be,

In this moment forever,

Just you and me.

 

Reviews

[Katharine Eilene]

Very powerful. Simple, yet had me entranced.

[Jeff]

A great romantic poem.

i definitely understand the feeling and you captured it so well. the poem flowed beatifully and the words you chose made it heartfelt. i loved it.

[GamingGal]

Pros: I like the emotion I can feel in this one, the devotion if this person to their significant other. It's rather touching. And your rhyme scheme is good as well. It makes the poem flow. Your lines, the way you broke them up, helps it flow as well.

Cons: I'm not sure I like the line "I don't care." It seems a little too casual compared to the other language and wording here.''

Overall: A good poem, I liked it.

[A]

That's a sweet romantic poem, I enjoyed it because it's well described, well-done.

[{A}shley {B}lack @-;-]

Wow I can really picture the scene the feeling of being lost without that special someone I loved the structure and flow of this piece my only criticism is that I wish it were longer its a really good write well done keep them coming