The Tale Begins Under the Leaf Rain

Eiris, a regular college student, wrestles over her script in a forest glade, her secret base, at the Northern Woods when a mysterious man takes her to a trip back in time.

“I can’t take it anymore!” I grip the script and hurl it with all my might to the ground. My heart and my mind just want to give up.

 

I have been rehearsing for more than two weeks and I still cannot master the dainty, I-am-so-heavenly character of Psyche, the Love God Eros’ bride in Greek Mythology. I am just not cut out for this role.

 

Even in heavy semesters like this in Grand Lotus University, we are still required to fight for our department in the Art and Literature Intramurals around the first and second week of August, as it threatens to remove the Biology Office in the Hall of the Elite as exchange for defeat against other competing colleges.

 

Of course, it would be beyond shameful that the only field-deviant population of the school would go in desolation because they are absolutely out-of-place! It was not our fault for being invited to study here at the prestigious art-centered institution taking a totally different dimension called science! What do these Shakespeare disciples know about what we do? I bet they are as almost clueless as we are to them.

 

I gaze back at the fifty-five paged piece Allison wholeheartedly wrote for us. She has been my classmate since first year, and my best friend. Only Allison has the talent when it comes to writing, and she scribbles her pen as splendid as those Edgar Allan Poe freaks.

 

Likewise because of her beautiful voice and grandiosity in playing the piano and violin, she currently plays as the solo singer of our University choir. Allison always takes me to every concert, forcing me to dress up like her. I am the exact opposite of who and what she is.

 

Lazily, I throw myself on the luscious, green spring grass under the shade of my favorite linden tree. This forest glade in the bordering Northern Forest has been our secret base, Allison’s and mine. We used to come here to study together and do amusing pastimes when she is not into rehearsals and recitals, or both. But right now, similar to those frequent times, I am alone thinking.

 

The white cirrus clouds sail high above the bright sky. Greens, whites, blues, and yellows of this lovely September afternoon create a relaxing haze beyond me. This is exactly what I love about this place. I could think here undisturbed whenever I want.

 

Well, I guess that is my talent --- thinking. When I finally chose Biology as my course, I have refused taking things off my thinking space. I never let issues out of my head unanalyzed. Allison would always laugh when my brow furrows dig deeper in my forehead whenever I get really stressed out from an unresolved chemistry or calculus assignment.

 

“You know, you are not cute anymore…” She would mumble carelessly as my pen burns through the pages of my textbook. I usually get cranky.

 

“I do not even care if I turn Godzilla right now! I have to get this right, and quick!”

 

Luckily, no relationships have ever broken our friendship even once, and I am not looking forward to a chance. I love Allison with me; at least we keep each other as sisters. We are both single children and have been through tough times being alone in our childhood. I only live now with my mother, ever since Dad never came back after an archeological excavation on my junior year in high school.

But what I am saying is that, Allison is a totally different person and very special, too. Compared to me, she is more sociable and cheerful, and belongs to a prodigy family. I am just her local pessimist counterpart.

 

With a gloomier feeling now, I pull myself up and brush the dried leaves off my blouse and slacks. To be honest, I have memorized all the lines --- what goes wrong every time is my acting. I am such an emotionless mask. But Allison and the rest of the department just would not let me resign.

 

“It is the time to prove yourself that you are one of us.” They say.

 

“One of you, huh?” I gloat as I pick up the script and roll it in my fist.

 

For my three years of existence, I never felt belong in the department. I struggle hard to be accepted, which Allison really disapproves. I understand her point, my situation, their influence and everything. It is just that, I feel no internal stirrings inside my heart to do compassion for them.

 

The wind blows to my face which seems to tell me to calm down. I take a deep breath and position my hands just like what my best friend told me to in practice.

 

“I have come, my dearest, to the land you have wished me to be. Your affections are precious to me, but so is my longing to see you!” I swing my head dramatically as I conduct a searching gesture around the area. This is the part where Psyche wanted to see Cupid so badly after weeks of her arrival to the luxurious palace.

 

“Let me see your face, dearest, and gaze at your star-laden eyes!”

 

To act out the rising emotion, I toss the script to a nearby fallen log and stretch out my hands towards an invisible company.

 

I breathe heavily and slowly drop to my knees for the final begging line of Psyche skipping Rico’s parts as Eros. As I open my mouth to speak, the corner of my eye catches a strange sparkle at my right side, behind the large elm tree facing me. I swallow and keep my hands from trembling. No one knows this place, just me and Allison. I decide to continue.

 

“Please, you are but my only treasure in this world. Let my heart’s curiosity rest for the beauty that I have not yet praised! Guide my love to someone not to a something, dearest. I love you…” I bow my torso on to the ground. My spine starts shivering as I say the last three words. I cannot help but be disgusted.

 

Just as I am about to lift my head, I hear distinct footsteps towards me. I freeze in my awkward position. If someone sees me like this, I know he or she would drop to the ground, roll and laugh until heaven says he or she could die. However, my thoughts are cut off by the pronounced silence as the pair of feet stops one yard away from me.

 

“Rise, my lovely queen, and let your heart not fall in to sorrow. You have me now and for all eternity. I do not wish you to see a finite form which slowly ages and then eventually dies. My love for you is eternal.”

 

It is a man with a clear and proud resonating voice, almost princely. I gasp as I analyze his lines. They are not from Allison’s rendition, but from a century-old one dating more than thirteen hundred years from a literature book I have read a couple of weeks ago. Remembering that, I hesitate. This is kind of creepy.

 

Nevertheless, I follow the man’s request and lift up my head. The moment I see him, my eyes immediately dart back to the ground even though I am standing at full height in front of him. He is so beautiful with a warm smile, cleanly cut ebony-black hair, perfectly sculptured nose, and sparkling moonless-night eyes. The newcomer is as handsome as the god himself, Eros.

 

“Look at me. What’s wrong fairest maiden?” He says with a tone of sadness. I can feel him getting closer to me.

 

I remain in my position, staring at the ground. This is all weird, awkward, and not to mention discourteous but I cannot help it. My heart is overexerting itself pumping like there is no tomorrow. I know it is impossible for me to relax, much more because he called me “fairest maiden”. Who is he, really, a man from the eighth century?

 

“I guess you are not into it anymore, I apologize, Miss Eiris Everdale.” The man says as he picks up the script and sits on the log gazing at me. Finally, I look up and see him smiling again. My cheeks are burning.

 

“How…how did you know…”Before I continue, I realize the answer to my question.

 

“The script…it has my name on it.” I stammer.

 

The man seems to be amused at my statement. He nods his head and hands the booklet to me. As I reach out to get it, I notice a large gash across his right upper arm just beneath his shoulder. The sleeve of his white shirt is fresh with blood.

 

“Oh, it seems you have noticed this.” He tries to cover it with his other hand and turns away.

 

“Are you kidding? Let me see that, please. It looks horrible!” I move towards him, ignoring the nervous pounding of my excited heart.  

 

Now that I am up close, my agitation seems to die down. He is not as intimidating as the boys in the university. He has this kind and warm aura around him. In my guess, the man is around twenty basing on his youthful built. And wearing lose long-sleeved shirt with dark navy blue pants and leather black shoes, he is like he is from another neighboring university.

 

They say this place is meant for recreation, and walks are not forbidden here. But where did he get the wound as worse as this? It looks like he has been attacked by a ferocious animal. But of course it is impossible in such a public park, isn’t it?

 

I grab my pack and carefully pull out a small first aid kit my mother always let me carry. At the corner of my eye, the man is looking at me with another heart-melting smile. I breathe deeply and face him.

 

“I am good at this so keep still.” I tear his sleeve and reveal the wound. Controlling my shaking hand, I look at it meticulously. Now, I am positive it is from a razor-sharp claw of some beast he met probably along the way. It runs straight through his skin, as if he was struck with one swift swing.

 

“Are you not going to ask me questions?” He calmly shifts his eyes to me. I look up and shake my head and continue applying the disinfectant on his gash. He is almost admirable not even twitching when I have expected he would. Is it maybe because he is used to it? That’s crazy.

 

“But it seems you are already working up clues, are you not?” I freeze. How does he know?

“Don’t be ridiculous.”

 

I grab the white ribbon in my hair which I intentionally keep as an emergency bandage, another idea of Mom’s. My long hair flows down on my back. I press down the gauze and tie the bandage neatly with the conventional square knot and hide the rabbit ears.

 

“Thank you…and you have such a beautiful hair.”

 

“Keep still for a little while longer. Mother told me this would make healing faster.” I do not answer to his remark and press my hand lightly on his dressed wound.

 

I close my eyes and feel the warmth circulating my body, like soft rolling waves, which I then send out to the man’s gash. This is supposed to be an advanced technique, my mother said.

 

After a while, I flutter my eyes open and feel the breeze touch my skin. The man is giving me a puzzled look as he places his hand on his bandage arm.

 

“Eiris, that action just now…”

 

“I have never understood it but I have been doing that since mother taught me how to cure simple wounds. It always turns out right so I kept in the tradition.”

 

He nods intently, but his eyes are gazing way past me through the forest like he is in deep thought. Even in such situation he is really gorgeous.

 

I find my cheeks burning as I stash away the kit back in my bag. I pick up the script and flip some pages. He is still looking at me. I know I have to create conversation or this would be an awkward moment to be in.

 

“Uhmmm…I am wondering. Are you from Moon Crest University?” My mind is trying to gather information about the stranger.

 

“No…I am not a student.” He looks back to me as he tucks in the crystal in his shirt.

 

“Oh, I see.” I say observing him. Though he looks so young to be someone working as a professional based on his clothing.

 

“Eiris, don’t you remember me?”

 

“What are you talking about? Of course not. We’ve just met.” I feel my furrows grow deeper on my forehead. The man chuckles his voice as clear as a ring of a bell.

 

“What’s so funny?” I demand as I frown at him.

 

“Well, you should watch this out… He edges twelve inches nearer to me. We are so close that I could already sense his breathing.

 

He places his finger on my brow furrow and relaxes them. I stare up at him. He is so tall that I think I am just above his shoulder if I am going to stand beside him. I am starting to hate him.

 

“Hey,” He whispers. It is the first time I hear him utter a colloquial term. I throw back my eyes to him. He is now staring intently at me, maybe because of our distance --- I mean nearness.

 

“You seem to be always in deep thought. That’s dangerous.” He nods his head to emphasize his point. Hearing this, I could feel my furrow deepening again.

 

“There it goes again.”

 

“What’s your problem with me?”

 

“I’m just telling you that being in deep thought is as dangerous as spacing out.” He gives me now a serious look.

 

“And why is that? You don’t even know what I am thinking about!”

 

“Anyway, let me hand to you my gift…” He leans down to my face. “Please close your eyes.”

 

My heart beats faster as I pull my eyelids tightly closed. This is weird and scary, but my mind is racing. I cannot think clearly.

 

I feel his hand on the back of my head gently dragging me nearer to him. Then, I sense a soft touch on my forehead. My chest is tightening. I open my eyes. The man is smiling, his hand still on my head. He just kissed my brow furrows.

 

“What are you doing?” I exclaim in surprise as I take several steps back. “You b*****d! Don’t go kissing girls unprecedented!”

 

“What very brute language…It seems that you have changed interestingly.” He says as he stifles a laugh. What does he mean I changed? We just met. I am going to kill this man.

 

“Unprecedented, you say? So if I ask you first, you would let me?” He says in a playful tone.

 

“Idiot!” I shout back at him. My hands though are trembling. It was the first time I was kissed by anyone other than my parents.

 

The winds passing by blow gently that the leaves withering in age for the coming autumn fall down to us. They create a beautiful leaf shower. We both shift our gaze around the trees.

 

“Wow…” I sigh in amazement. Suddenly my anger dissipates, as if I am being bewitched by the scenery around me.

 

“Breathtaking, isn’t it? Just like when I first met you more than one thousand years ago.” The man says in a very low tone. Maybe he does not want me to hear him, but I did.

 

I could feel my eyes widening. What did he say again? He already met me more than a thousand years ago? What?

 

My heart responds by beating loudly as if agreeing to the speculation. A weird feeling sweeps over me. I look at him, and gasp.

 

“When you left, everything changed back in our home…I followed you and entered this dimension. In this new world, I have been born into another man. You can call me Linden, although I prefer you addressing me in my real name…”

 

I can feel the surroundings spinning around me. He is named after my favorite tree. I shake my head. This is just a coincidence, a result of the die-rolling of fate. But then, I step back as I look at him.

 

He now wears what looks like a blue silk robe embraced with an animal skin belt and medallions pinned elegantly across his chest. On top of his head is a pure gold crown. Draped on his back flows a heavy looking red cape, and his feet are in leather boots.

 

I read one feature about them during History lecture. They are what Azyrgian royalty used to wear. The biggest medallion on the man’s chest bears the symbol of trust, the greatest virtue of the kingdom --- three irises. This bloodline supposed to have vanished around the tenth century, and no one ever knew what happened.

 

I have never seen such an effete type of clothing this close before, much more from an ancient civilization. My head feels heavy now. How could have had this happen? Or am I just dreaming? The leaf rain continues to fall.

 

For a moment, I want to close my eyes. But movement is impossible. I hold my head with both of my hands. Too much is too much. My analytical mind is dying to grasp reality. Magic, like this I presume, unfortunately of course does not register.

 

“Eiris? Are you alright? You are pale.” The man’s voice is echoing in my ears. I strongly wish for this delusion to fade away. This is not good --- I seriously think I am going to lose my mind.

 

“I am just a bit dizzy.” I manage to say. “This is funny…you are wearing an Azyrgian clothing…”

 

“Don’t worry I am not going to force you to come back to Azyrgia. I am telling you now that I will not hurt you, anymore. But after having me here even for a short while, do you really not remember me? Even just my name?”

 

His name…Is it not Linden just like he said?

 

“You are being vague! What are you talking about? This is the first time I have met you!” I flutter my eyes open.

 

Panic is rising within me. He still wears his kingly robes. Now that he is closer, I am starting to get afraid. Is he a ghost? Or something more cursed?

 

I take another step back. My mind and heart cannot take it longer. The man throws me a worried look that seems to rip my composure apart. I need to leave and forget about this freakish afternoon.

 

As I turn around, to pick up my bag, it has vanished. My script is gone, too. Then, I realize that we are in a different place now. The fallen log is absent from its site in front of the elm tree. I let out a cry as my eyes turn to the trees.

 

My favorite linden looks like it is just a five-year-old tree, so is the elm. The forest sends a mysterious sigh to me as the breeze begins to blow again. This cannot be happening.

 

The man, seeing that I have noticed everything, smiles. “Eiris, please lean your ears to me and calmly listen…you have me with you.” A painful stab strikes my heart as his words echo in my head. Curiously, it is as if someone deep inside me is heavily sobbing right now. And I am feeling her suffering instead.

 

“What the hell are you talking about?” I yell at him. My desire to punch him on the face dominates my reason right now. But as I lift my arm, my spine shivers. I too wear the strange clothes, a long pink, white, and gold silk robes with the glitter vines as belt. I cannot see my feet beneath the endless fold of cloth around me. My full arms vanish at the length of the sleeves.

 

“What are these clothes? Why am I wearing them, too? What is happening here?” I tug the cloth to see if they are true. My fingers slide through the smoothness of the silk. I am not dreaming.

 

“I guess you still do not wish to listen.”

 

There he goes again with his archaic language. I whisper.

 

“I…I want to go home! You hear me?” I exclaim. “Let me go, whoever you are!” As I let myself cry out, the leaf rain stops, and there comes a bright explosion. Blinding white light pierced through the leaf gaps and engulfed the forest glade.

 

The last thing I see before I feel myself falling out of consciousness is his smiling, but sad face. His handsome features are strengthened even more. This time however he is wearing his normal clothes.

 

“I am glad…you still have the power to stop me...then, you haven’t lost the strength to seal back the portals…” I hear him say. Then, the world goes black and still.

 

Ж                                Ж                                Ж

 

 “Wake up, Eiris! Tell me what happened! Eiris!” A soft, gentle tone called to me. I know, it is Allison’s voice.

 

I could feel stirrings around the room. It has to be a lot of people maybe from the whole cast coming here. I really want to hug attack my best friend from bringing the population inside. Where am I anyway? I flutter my eyes open. And it is just Allison --- I am at the infirmary. I could not hide the fear and surprise in my eyes.

 

“Eiris! What is the matter with you? You like you have seen a ghost!” Allison’s long brunette curls cascade to my arms as she leans closer to my face. “Eiris, answer me!”

 

I stare at the room speechless. I was so sure that there are a lot of people a while ago. A chill sweeps over me. I embrace Allison partly suffocating her. My hands are trembling.

 

“Would you please fill me in? If you don’t talk right now, Eiris Suzanne Everdale, I am going to call Dr. Emma.” She says with slight threatening. Her beautiful starlit eyes are burning with desperation.

 

I suddenly feel myself sinking. This is what I am afraid of when it comes to Allison’s temper. She sure is gentle and lovely like a princess, but she is a real demon when she does not get what she wants from me, especially information about myself.

 

Then, there she goes like every other story where she is the winner --- she goes off telling my mom with her perfectly fabricated stories which end me up grounded, with her! Creepy, isn’t she? I used to insist that it does not mean she is older than me that she has to be this overprotective. But I always sigh in defeat.

 

I tell her about the outlandish experience I had. Allison listens carefully as I stress the details about the man I met. She looks like she is in deep thought as I am, especially when I mention about us wearing strange traditional clothes from Azyrgia. She does not speak at the length of my story. I see her eyes turn into slits. I have the strange feeling that I am not supposed to know these things.

 

“So…how did you find me?” I manage to ask to break her solitude.

 

“When I came here about an hour ago, you are already lying here, completely tucked in. I was so worried about you when I was called by the nurse through public intercom.”

 

“Then, who notified the nurse?” I reply in hesitation.

 

“It is quite odd as I recall it. She doesn’t remember. Strangely, she knows she has to notify me.” A slight nervousness wafts from Allison’s voice. I mean, it really is something curious, beyond that scary.

 

“That’s it! You are going to school and come back at Lily Street in my car. No buts or I’m alrights.” She says as she flips her curls away from her face.

 

“And you stay close to me.”

 

I feel my cheeks burning. “You are worse than my mom! I…can’t believe you are doing this to me, Allison!” I exclaim as she raises her brow. It is a sign for me to agree, do or die. My head becomes dizzy again. I have the ultimate best friend in the world. I resign and nod at her.

 

She smiles sweetly now. Really creepy.

 

We both gaze through the bedside window. As it sinks below the horizon, the sun is spilling vibrant colors of red, yellow, and orange across the indigo sky with scattered gray wisps of clouds.  I get out of bed and wear my school shoes. The night is about to close in.

 

“Better come with me. I already managed to finish the stage and the second-to-the-last rehearsal. You have to be in the last practice next week.” I know she has been doing her best to cover up for me when I am absent.

 

“I will, don’t worry. And you can stop acting so angry…freaks me out.”

 

“A man kisses my best friend, whom I did not have the chance of meeting --- then you expect me to calm down? Are you asking for a miracle?” A typical Allison sarcasm, I thought. If only people knew about her fierce attitude, all of her suitors would go hasta la vista. But unfortunately, she only does this to me. I sigh.

 

“Okay, okay. Now, let us head home.”

 

“Is Auntie going home tonight?” She asks as she helps me wear my bag and hands me out the script.

 

I throw her a sad look, but I try to smile. “No, not yet. Maybe next week.”

 

Allison’s eyes sparkled. “Sleepover.”

 

“Oh, no. I have tons of work to do and I do not need an entire night talking about that man.” I say as I cast a pissed off look at her. I swallow hard as I saw her menacing eyes dart towards mine. However, this time I mean it.

 

“You cannot make me, Allison Jane Lakes!” I shout as I dash out of the door. Allison follows her steps faster now.

 

“You come back here, Eiris! Eiris!”

 

Little did I know, four young men, together with the mysterious man I have just met are watching at this very moment, deciding how to explain everything starting from introducing themselves to me. I never knew I have been a refuge of the greatest responsibility from my real home --- in Azyrgia. 

Reviews

[IK]

Good bits: Interesting premise, I like the protagonist and I like the mysterious stranger called Linden. I also largely like the dialogue - especially between Allison and the protagonist. This sounds natural and smooth. I also like the build-up of tension and the questions posed in the readers mind as we go along.

improvements:
1. I'd be really careful about word choice and grammar. For eample in the paragraph:
"For my three years of existence, I never felt belong in the department. I struggle hard to be accepted, which Allison really disapproves. I understand her point, my situation, their influence and everything. It is just that, I feel no internal stirrings inside my heart to do compassion for them."

That last sentence would read much better as "It is just that I feel no internal stirrings inside my heart to have compassion for them"...or "to act out of compassion towards them".

2. The story moves along far too quickly when the man from the other time arrives. The girl is too comfortable around him too quickly. She goes to investigate the wound too quickly. I like this scene and would like to have savoured it more and have the tension built up.

3. The stuff at the start is a bit confusing - perhaps too much detail too soon? Also I would break it up a bit with dialogue and slowly ease the reader into this new world.

Hope that helps!

[Endeavor]

Thank you very much! I'll revise this piece using these points to make it a lot better. :)