Exhaustion

For Pagemaster's Challenge #3; I searched for tunes to go wtih this. I found Iron Maiden's tune Aces High, about WWI pilots and that got me thinking of life in England under the zepplin and bomber attacks and the squadrons along the trenches. I tried to p

Sleeping is being awake
Being awake is like a dream

We are the fortunate few
So close to the Metro tunnels, we hide
The constant thunder of a storm of metal and H.E.
The earth quakes when they land nearby

That was two summers ago
Or, was that just a dream too

The smell of petrol is never ending
The death stares in their eyes haunt me
Drinks all around! do not take away the threat
Tomorrow, tonight, today, we fly

Faces covered in oil and powder discharge
Shaky voices, shaky hands, thinly guised grins
We are the few, the lucky few
We fly, we fly to fight, we fly to win

I close my eyes, they are there to greet me
Chums from just a few days ago, lost
The conversations, the drinks, the arguments
They are all real, yet not

Sleep. It does not come
I close my eyes, they are there.
Sleeping is just like being awake
Being awake is like a dream, a nightmare I live

The choke, the sputter, the cough, the roar
Bouncing along a field at full throttle
The soft lift, the circling to join up
Some days we fight, some days we live

Everything is drained, drink doesn’t sound good
Daily I fly, daily I die,… if only just a bit more
The choke, the sputter, the cough, the roar
Over the trenches once again I go

I promise myself, one day I will sleep
There is a girl back home, a dream I once had
I promise myself, one day I will sleep
There is a girl back home, a dream…

Reviews

[Blackbirdsong]

This poem feels like my life. When I was younger naps were punishment, now they're what I look forward to as soon as I wake up. You really capture well what that feels like and you manage to do it while still maintaining your structure throughout. Great job.

[Clavus]

This does sounds like a narrative of what any WWI pilot would have said/thought at the time--you captured the feeling perfectly. I'm a bit confused over the reviewers' comments about Vietnam. Had you served there and did you mean to have a correlation with this poem and another experience? You have written a very good poem, with either interpretation.

[James K. Blaylock]

wow, this was so very awesome! and the Iron Maiden only helped it along. war is really so ugly. so many have fallen over the years, and for what, our freedom. heroes give their lives daily that we may have a better future. great write here.

[Kelley Rose]

This had a lot of description and feeling. I enjoyed it!

[Carole]

Doc,
This is so touching. Great imagery for someone that has never been in a war. My husband served in the U.S. Navy and was in Desert Shield/Storm, but I know he didn't have to go through what you did. I imagine it is life changing. Thank you for taking the time to share. God Bless You, Doc, and thank you for serving our country, to protect our freedom.

[Kimberly]

Sleeping is being awake
Being awake is like a dream

We are the fortunate few
So close to the Metro tunnels, we hide
The constant thunder of a storm of metal and H.E.
The earth quakes when they land nearby

That was two summers ago
Or, was that just a dream too

The smell of petrol is never ending
The death stares in their eyes haunt me
Drinks all around! do not take away the threat
Tomorrow, tonight, today, we fly

Faces covered in oil and powder discharge
Shaky voices, shaky hands, thinly guised grins
We are the few, the lucky few
We fly, we fly to fight, we fly to win

I close my eyes, they are there to greet me
Chums from just a few days ago, lost
The conversations, the drinks, the arguments
They are all real, yet not

Sleep. It does not come
I close my eyes, they are there.
Sleeping is just like being awake
Being awake is like a dream, a nightmare I live

The choke, the sputter, the cough, the roar
Bouncing along a field at full throttle
The soft lift, the circling to join up
Some days we fight, some days we live

Everything is drained, drink doesn�t sound good
Daily I fly, daily I die,� if only just a bit more
The choke, the sputter, the cough, the roar
Over the trenches once again I go

I promise myself, one day I will sleep
There is a girl back home, a dream I once had
I promise myself, one day I will sleep
There is a girl back home, a dream�



**As I say about them all. AWESOME! I love reading your work. This was caprivating from the begining....causing me to want to know more and more about what you are talking about...
it confuses me though.
At first it seems like you are talking about life...music..something like that or a trend maybe...then it seems like a love... war..or hate

maybe im thinking too deep into the matter but iono...

anyways AWESOMEEEE!
:)

[Helen Woodward]

Love the dreaming when awake sentiment, I think anyone who has been in a war would be this way. Just ask the Vietnam Vets! You really have your finger on the pulse of the ugliness of war and how it's devastation plays out in your day-to-day living and stuffs up your sleep routine with nightmares that won't stop plagueing with vivid images of death, destruction and discomfort.
A great effort on your part Doc...

[Teresa Bridges]

Wow! Sounds like my life! Very well written, draws you in right from the start. I love the line, "being awake is like a dream....