The 24th hour

Hmm a rather psychotic man indeed!

She weakly tries to speak eloquently

Trying to mask her meek inablility

Still the cries go ignored

Oh.

The poor little sparrow 

Sprawled upon the venetian dust in my catacombs

'Who was once my little spark of divine fire

Whose ev'ry element took me to the stars and higher!

Damn my folly for giving way to her spell

How I tremble at her sight.

Not even the worlds nor Greek Gods knew of such heights!

Yet I can't recall her name...

I guess to some men in the dark it's all the same.

Her lifeless body holds no interest to me no mores

So I kick her aside next to all the other boring w****s

Reviews

[Devons]

Is he perhaps the male God of Vengeance...? This is the personification of that mythical concept for me. With its "venetian dust" and "catacombs" it creates a secret environment of some dark angel or phantom of the opera, exacting justice upon those women who have wronged him. Often, in poetry, this perspective is shown from the female side (usually embittered rants and whines about lost lovers), so this is a refreshing version of that mood. It depicts the power of the woman that the he is destroying, and in doing so, the reason why he is destroying her. It subtly echoes the see-sawing nature of the sexual conflict between man and woman. "Yet I can't recall her name..." is darkly humorous, and the poem as a whole has a sense of perverse amusement about it.
"I guess to some men in the dark it's all the same.
Her lifeless body holds no interest to me no mores
So I kick her aside next to all the other boring w****s"
...The best and most poetically powerful lines, yet still with that black sense of humour seeping through. It is a somewhat Gothic imagining, fairy-tale-like in its nightmarish twisted sense of evil; and yet radiating a certain kind of understanding for the character's attitude. Perhaps seeing into the mind of a psycho, and somewhat suggestive of how this attitude could come about.
The poem evokes more than its mere words and imagery might indicate on the surface, which makes it interesting. The phraseology and humour gives it a modern feel, and has an element of social commentary about it somehow. An entertaining, moody, and mysterious piece of writing.

[TTBoy28]

"I guess to some men in the dark it's all the same..." man, what a total disregard for human life. You did say it was psychotic, and, you lived up to it! Fantastic job!