Lovers in Winter

Just a little hyperbole-metaphor type thing.

I'm a bull with a heart piled high with stones,

With just enough space for water.

Sloshing, bending through the cold crevices,

Hot like afternoon tea.

Bitterly sweet,

Like two lovers in winter.

Roped around each other in a knot like pretzels to keep warm.

Gazing over a frozen lake.

But the water underneath the thin sheet of ice is alive.

Adrenalized,

Waiting,

For a break through the cage.

And as the couple tests the ice, curious,

The water underneath finds a hold, and patently waits for the two to stand atop it.

And as the lovers cross, 

The water bends, and breaks the ice.

It splinters, and the water bursts up and out.

It breaths.

But in the wake of joy,

It's been dawned,

That the couple is gone.

Lost in the emptiness of water.

Without breath.

Slipping through the rocks,

Burning...

Reviews

[Ufi Auttorri ~ UfoAutho..]

Reads like a couple of throws of the i-ching ("Yì Jīng"). The way that the similes are used seem somewhat at odds with the apparent intent and/or message. They require grounding that is unavailable for most readers I suspect. But, it's just a thought. The words themselves have an likable constructive position throughout so there is none of the frailty of pure whimsy.

[Poe Redd]

Definitely one of my favorite poems from your collection. It reads cold, and the metaphors are kind of mind-blowing. Like a breathing painting- this one.

[Brian Angeles]

I love winter and the emotion your poem brings leaves me satisfied.

[Death Girl]

I am really liking your work. You are an amazing writer. nicely done

[Simon Welsh]

Nicely done. There's a progression of maturity within this one.

[Graveyardfuck]

Thank you, Elliott

[Tarry Franck]

Wow was not expecting this due to the title but I loved it. Bravo