Breaking out

It's been too many years
hiding in this shell
thinking I was in hell
Sitting in the background
While they all shined so bright
blocking my own light

It's been too many years
of watching the best parts of me
slowly get destroyed
by the powers of love
and misunderstanding

Too many nights in a fight with the mirror
things never seemed to get clearer

Too many dated with a late night pill
using a blade to cut out the pain 
thinking it was just the think
to make it all go away

I've cried my rivers,
and burnt my bridges
Spent too much time waiting just
to end up empty handed

I've lost and lived
felt like I would die
when she would leave
but finally got up off my knees
Stopped begging please

I'm past my past
as dark as it gets sometime
I have found my light

There's no more fights
and late nights with my vice
I had to leave that all behind

I don't hurt me when you do
I don't cry or quietly die
I not pretending I'm so strong
But I'm not falling tonight

Too many times I've listen to their lies
always have alibis
for why someone else get their lullaby 
It's just not right

I'm finding my voice
finally stepping into my skin
finding how nice it is to love me
more then I thought I loved them