Like The Rain

Written in 7th grade.

I lay in this bed

Thoughts running through me head

Of why I let this happen to me.

My mind wanders back

Back to the moment

The moment I threw everything away.

I saw this coming

I knew it would be too late.

I can picture that deep blue sky

The one I saw in your eyes

When I had so much to tell you

But nothing to say.

Then days passed by

Weeks

Months

I needed to tell you

But no words came out.

Maybe I was scared

But now I’ve missed my chance.

If you were my life

What is my life now?

I lay in this bed

Thoughts running through my head

And like the rain

Tears poor out.

Reviews

[Lindsay.]

I would have to agree with you, it was a tad bit choppy, but not by much. The whole flow of the poem was over all good, and my favorite part was the last two lines.

[Katie Lynn]

I love how you rhyme only the first two lines... making me expect to keep reading rhymes... but this is great girl

[Paul Grimsley]

this possesses a simplicity and a directness that works well to serve the subject and the run on nature of the poem perfectly mimics the thought process and the flowing of the tears.

[Conversing Empty Words]

It's a bit cliche. However, the strongest lines that caught me were "I can picture that deep blue sky//the one I saw in your eyes."

[Eamon]

Regret.

[Tripp]

Awww! I like this poem! Very down to earth and sentimental! ^^ *Hugs*