THE DUMBEST DOG

Pard has a few lessons for his master -----

The Dumbest Dog
Old Pard was the dumbest dog you ever saw. Somebody gave him to me when I was in about the seventh grade. He was big, even for a puppy. He was really red like an Irish Setter, except that he was bigger, heavier, and broader. And, he had more energy than could be expected from a dog his size. This was odd, too, because Pard never ate much—usually just my left over sandwich, which was more likely than not a mashed potato between two slices of bread.

I always considered Pard a dummy because he would never do anything that I told him. He just had too much energy to sit around and listen to some silly prairie kid. I used to spend hours trying to teach that dog something, but it was always a waste of time.

Pard was dumb alright, but I can’t count the number of times he stepped in to keep me out of trouble. One day, the Briscoe boys who lived nearby came over to visit. We got into a fight, like we always did. Dale was the oldest, followed by Jack, Billy and finally David, who was just a few years old. Even little Billy used to try to hit me once a fight got going. Well, this particular day, they got me down and pounded me good until Pard caught onto what was going on. Pard quickly scattered them like a flock of birds because he demonstrated fast that he was willing to chew up the whole bunch of them.

I often would explore Thunder Butte with Pard at my side. We would have a great time. We explored the cherry orchard and ate choke cherries by the handful. We explored the caves at the top of the butte where people had scratched their names and messages probably going all the way back into prehistory. On each trip, Pard would sniff out and grab a rattlesnake that I was about to step on. By rapidly shaking the rattler, he would beat it to pieces on the rocks. On most of these excursions, he would kill at least one rattler, and sometimes he would get two or three. He was dumb, alright, but he saved me from all of those rattlers without once ever getting bitten.

Another great trick of old Pard`s was catching my horse when it tried to run away. Almost every sheepherder and cowboy that I ever knew, at one time or another, had tried to teach a dog to catch their horse. Yet, never once did I ever hear of one accomplishing this feat until Pard came along. Usually, when you got off your horse out on the prairie, you would just “ground hitch” him. That is, you would just drop the reins on the ground. The horse didn’t like to walk with the reins trailing because he would step on them and they would jerk the bit in his mouth, which would snap his head back. Lots of horses could be ground hitched. Still, some were smart enough to know that if they ran, the reins would fly out to the side and wouldn’t get stepped on. Well, Pard thought that a running horse with flying reins made for a great game. Being a dog who always wanted to play, he just got right into the spirit of the thing—chasing the horse, catching the reins in his mouth, and pulling the horse to a stop. Then, he would tug and pull, eventually leading the horse back to me. Dumb old Pard! He saved me from being stranded so many times. This was something no one could ever teach a dog.

Pard died one winter when I was away in high school or college. They said he was always listless when I didn’t come home anymore. He just didn’t have anything to do. Or maybe in his own poor, dumb way, he just missed me too much.
-----Eagle Cruagh

 

Reviews

[Marie]

I was intrigued by the title, so I had to read the story, and discovered it to be very good. Old Pard was certainly one of the smartest, not the dumbest.

[Tracie Skarbo]

This one brought tears to my eyes...omg poor Pard. I wish I could have met such a wonderful animal. You have not only beathed life into this canine but have given him such a loving personality that you envoke strong emotions from your readers. Personally I think you should try to get this one and Lindy published in "The New Yorker" I think these are right up their alley.

Thank you for showing me an aspect of a ranchers life and giving me a peek into some of the experiences that have made you into who you are. :)

Tigra

[holly]

I loved your first two paragraphs. They were tight, and best of all, the first sentence grabbed the reader's attention and empathy. We've all had pets that were animal idiots, or so we thought. The irony in the second paragraph prepared the reader (I hate saying "me" all the time) for the denouement. In the main, this is really well written. The only quibbles I'd have with it are word and phrase selections where different words could paint the picture. Here's a good example:
"Pard quickly scattered them like a flock of birds because he demonstrated fast that he was willing to chew up the whole bunch of them." A more action-based way of saying the same thing could be: "Pard quickly scattered them as he lowered his head and showed them the teeth that could chew up the whole bunch of them. They took off like a flock of crows. " You can give the reader eyes to see Pard and, by picking a type of revolting bird to be scattered, can drive your sentences about the Briscoe boys home. If you see what I mean. Cheers!

[Alice Bliss]

Great description of Pard--"...red like an Irish Setter, except that he was bigger, heavier, and broader." One thing I especially appreciated was the detail that he was big although he didn't eat a lot. This tidbit is interesting to me because it gives the reader an insight to the dog that most writers wouldn't present in such a way--many people would just say that the dog was big and leave it at that.
I also love how you subtly introduce the setting by mentioning Thunder Butte, the presence of rattlesnakes and the use of horses to get around. You don't just stick in the introduction that you're in a rural desert-like area.
The ending did kind of bum me out because the narrator didn't even remember if he was away at high school or college when Pard died--it's as though the dog was pining away for the boy but the boy forgot about the dog when he left.
Very entertaining!

[J-Boo]

Makes me so sad for old Pard!

Touching story, beautifully written. Very clever and 'put-together'. It makes it seem like writing comes so easily to you! I also love the voice this is told in - very down to earth and believable, like a real person sitting next to you in a bar talking about his old dog.

[AaronPhobia]

This reminds me of the Futurama episode where Fry finds his dog and at the end it shows him waiting endless days for Fry to come back but he never did and he took a nap and died :( so sad...just so little time for a dog but your dog did live a happy life :) i hope so

-Aaron

[Ashley Campbell]

Ironically enough, your gorgeous Charley came to mind and I thought I wanted to re-read "Charley's Place" and by happenstance clicked on this story to see what you had enclosed here. From the title, it doesn't do the dog justice. You seem to lead such a wonderful life. Pard seemed like one of those dogs you loved no matter what they seemed to do. I loved this story because while reading it, a soft smile rested on my lips. Thanks for sharing your memories.

~
Silver Wolf

[lowena]

I say Pards a very clever dog.

Such a tender sweet story.

[IMOGEAN]

I have read about old' Pard so many times, and each time I think I love it even more. One of your more brilliant works, John.

[JC Fox]

too sad, although it's funny dogs can be so dumb and yet so smart at the same time, its the dense things they do (such as running into a door) that make you question their intelligence sometimes. Another great story