Lament

Tragic, is the life upon me,

for love is fleeing from my heart,

it isn't right, for me to leave thee,

to leave me, crying in the dark.

Because, it kills me to see,

you leave me once again,

and yet you are hurt by he,

and still you stay in vain.

For it is I, who loves you true,

not he, who might kill you still,

Come to me, my love for you will ensue,

for in time, kill you he will.

Come back to me, I need you,

I miss you, his love is untrue.

Author's Note

Rate and Review plz?

Reviews

[MaD DrEaMz]

Just Beautiful.. Thankyou

[Jamie Cook]

*looks up from reading poem* STEAL THAT B*TCH! >:O
Set out on an elaborate heist and steal your princess away! :D
Haha no seriously though, this was very well written I enjoyed it very much, it was nicely penned and it was very beautiful and sad. :( but overall lovely! Great job!

[Alex Avery]

Haha, thanks. i got the best girl ever right now. i was listening to a song about domestic abuse when i wrote it.

[Jamie Cook]

welcome and that's great :D and pssh i know how you feel. those moments when you find inspiration from that one song. great job man

[Alex Avery]

how about my book-ish thing?

[Jamie Cook]

yeah reading that right now. dont worry.

[quarintine_deathangel]

"Why don't we ever stop and turn around to see who's running after us instead of running to someone who doesn't care" Lovely fb quote that's pretty relateable. The way you wrote this seemed like it was a try for classical this that and thou but it wasn't natural when reading. Try reading it through yourself to get what I mean. Your point is there but it doesn't have a natural flow to the tounge. Maybe change your words in certain places from edgy or rigid in sound to a smooth sound, it will sound much more romantic and classical. Rather than that this was an exellent display of emotion. I was glad to review and send me read requests for anything else you want reviewed. ^^

[Alex Avery]

haha, we had to make a sonnet in english class, and i used the classical language so it would fit the pentameter

[quarintine_deathangel]

I see, that makes sense XD I did a poem about how I don't like format writing when I had to do one of those.

[Acucena G.]

aww that was amazing

[-Serizawa-H]

That was beautiful.

[Maria Mercurio]

That is a dark and twisted romance. Her other lover will eventually kill her? You use the words leave and kill many times in the poem. I am assuming that is intentional? A message of sorts you are emphasizing?

[Elizabeth Sanders]

That is so good!

[Bowers]

that was beautiful, a well written poem, I very much so enjoyed reading it, I think you should write many more like it. !

[Music-of-Silence]

I like it!