A Piece of Insanity

For a family friend

In the echoes of my silence I never noticed what was forming. Silly of me really….They said such changes would bring about even greater changes, but who was I to expect It, Them, to change me?

My mind

My heart

My soul

Cliché topics no? Nullified minds, ravaged hearts, wandering souls, topics all too often written about, talked about. Yet those are what changed, what It changed. And what am I now? I wonder….

The broken stones lie scattered on the floor; you would think someone broke in. No, you would be mistaken, for the broken stones lie, in more ways than one. Yes there was a struggle. Yes I was screaming…..But there was no one else here. Just me.

Me

Myself

And

I

Don't stare at this paper with that look. "Crazy" your mind might be whispering "Insane" it coos to you. I would like to see you try….Try go through what I have, and not change. It's not as easy as you think dear. Oh no. It's never as easy as you think….It wasn't even as easy as I thought…..

You shall find no details here dear reader. No details about what I went through, or what exactly changed me. For I care to keep Them silent….secret…my secret. Insanity is such a vague way of putting it. You don't know till you experience it. The infinite corridors in my mind opened, that engulfed me. It happens, to the best of us, to the worst of us. And it happened to me.

In the pain of lose, in the taunting, in the unflagging taunting! That droned on and on. I was ostracized because of my pain. Oh such pain!

The cemeteries mock, and laugh, and call names to one another. I hear them chant silently to themselves, and to others. The buzzing in my ears, so beautiful, so sweet. Rows upon rows of breathless bones lie just beneath my feet. They hear it to, they hear the song with me.

Broken candles, black with soot, smell only like wax, never to be lit again, much like the sane rooms of my mind. It, insanity, is like…..glass. Pieces of Insanity are scatter across this world. There are shards of it in you. You know them, you know them well. Those moments, when you don't know yourself, the moments you look back upon and try to forget. Those are the moments. Your pieces of Insanity, those sharp shards driving into your mind, you avoid letting anything touch those shards, because then comes the pain of the slightest movement the touch caused. Pain Pain Pain. Insane Insane Insane.

People say "You've lost your mind" No no dear! It’s still there, chatting away with itself! Just because It’s changed, does not mean I lost It. Oh defiantly not! My mind is still here….It is just taken over by the pain given off by the shards of glass shoved into my brain. After the years of trauma the pieces were driven deeper and deeper into my mind, till they met each other in the center, other pieces, and they joined together. Brothers at arms! To create my own little window of Insanity! Joy Joy Joy. Insane Insane Insane.

Good bye reader, time for me to GO. The whispers are shouting my name! But before I leave you, I give you this to chew on.

I

Am

Not

Insane

I

Am

In-pain

Reviews

[Jake Donald Stephens]

The shards of glass that dug into my brain are from the splinters of the worlds skull that shattered during the big bang, and then a bunch of monkeys got here on a spaceship and invented toilet paper, so Jesus had to die on the cross to save the Easter bunny from Hitler, because dinosaurs ate the gay robots that made Adam and eve, and that's where babies come from.
You're welcome.


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.display. .jake.008.
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.division.leader. Wesley
.name. Jake
.username. DesertKing

.novels. Cliff, Night Breed, Journey of the Kervant, Back To The Shack, The Cult, The Purple Rift

.status. Role Model, Novelist, noelwrimo Champion

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[J.M]

Intriguing and ambiguous yet also sad, the contrast of pain and joy is expressed very well. I don't quite understand 'In the pain of lose', but apart from that it was a very good piece. The structure was original and the idea of insanity not being a loss of mind but instead a change in it was very perceptive. well done.

[Mary Evans]

Again nice piece of fiction. It has really a lot of emotion in it. It sounds poetical but its still very story like. However I'm not quite certain it can be classified as a typical short story. Anyhow, very good job writing it.

[ACOUSTICSHOE]

When time carresses your wounds of pain into a duller scream, you will be able to put whatever happened to you into a better place in your writing. Your writing is very good...Tight...I call your writing "tight" because it is still "bunched" up with it's experience of pain...You are talented and I wish I could meet you in person...I will read and wish to read everything you have written and would love to have a cup of coffee with you when you are 50 years old..Like me...