"Lost" (Reprise)

This is a rhyming version of "Lost"

What happened to you

All weak and frail

You were so beautiful

Now you're a tragic tale

Loved them you always did

Now consuming you whole

It is you now I have to rid

You gave them your soul

Please again be mine to hold

No more drugs to steal you away

I don't want to leave you cold

But either me or drugs can stay

Make the choice: Life or Death

Don't let the addiction be a sway

I won't let them take you Beth 

Author's Note

Which do you like best?
Me personally I like the original but you might like this one better?

Reviews

[Decere Tiozon]

This is beautifully structured. It gave a glimpse of your situation; this poem is short and straight to the point. Yeah. I would like to see a tiny bit of anger. I don't know; if I were in that situation, I'd be very angry. The voice seems very hopeless, which I could see why. A person battling with addiction—it's their personal battle. And they would have to choose: between you and the drug.

[Josiah Morgan]

I actually like this one better

[Jack Kennedy]

Glad you liked this and reviewed it! Thank you

[Gypsy]

Tragic..addiction is..it has hit my family so I know the pain. I like the stanza..'now your a tragic tale'

Keep writing!

[Jack Kennedy]

Thank you glad you read it!! Take Care

[Girl With A Pen]

This poem made my heart skip a beat. Because in my mind I could picture a women in the hospital, I could see and feel the emotion that you portrayed so amazingly. Such a beautiful poem, thank you for sharing this

[Jack Kennedy]

Thank you for reading and reviewing this!

They both have a unique voice, the same message almost but told in different ways..That which stirs one, might not another and in that case you have the original one too.. They both have wonderful merit, stating that which many on drugs will hear but not totally understand or listen.

[Pure Innocence]

This was really beautiful and I liked how you added a name at the end to make it a little more personal. Very well done!

[Jack Kennedy]

Thank you! I hope to hear from you again soon :)

[stars are far]

That was AMAZING.. Really the best ..
well done :)

[Jack Kennedy]

Glad you liked it! Thanks for the review :)

[Ruth]

Personally, rhyme isn't a first preference but this...is sensational and heartfelt and rhyme sometimes gives pain and ache a boot, I felt this, a lot, excellent x

[Jack Kennedy]

Thank you! I'm glad your liking the works!

[Wynter Ignatius]

This is good, but I too am into the more raw and uncut poetry that is thick with raw emotion and the feelings it gives in spades.

[Jack Kennedy]

Thanks for the review and I'm glad you're liking the poems!