"Lost" (Reprise)

This is a rhyming version of "Lost"

What happened to you

All weak and frail

You were so beautiful

Now you're a tragic tale

Loved them you always did

Now consuming you whole

It is you now I have to rid

You gave them your soul

Please again be mine to hold

No more drugs to steal you away

I don't want to leave you cold

But either me or drugs can stay

Make the choice: Life or Death

Don't let the addiction be a sway

I won't let them take you Beth 

Author's Note

Which do you like best?
Me personally I like the original but you might like this one better?

Reviews

[Decere Tiozon]

This is beautifully structured. It gave a glimpse of your situation; this poem is short and straight to the point. Yeah. I would like to see a tiny bit of anger. I don't know; if I were in that situation, I'd be very angry. The voice seems very hopeless, which I could see why. A person battling with addiction—it's their personal battle. And they would have to choose: between you and the drug.

[Saddam]

as always great poetry dear..... very nice one....

[A Soap Mess Stories]

Such a tragic tale, but at the same time so full of love. Great write

[Jack Kennedy]

thanks for the review. it is very much appreciated

[Riley Jules]

So awesome possum , so sad but so beautiful at the same time :)

[Jack Kennedy]

thanks. i appreciate the words

[just Penny]

I think I prefer the original. I have this theory that whatever comes out first is authentic and when we tweek and change, the mind dominates the heart. Just me. But this has a powerful message and a tragic reality that many endure. Penny.

[Jack Kennedy]

yeah i preferred the original as well but thanks for the review

[Cory Barrett]

Best is always up to you as a writer. I will say this piece is direct, and very moving.

[Jack Kennedy]

Thanks! It is much appreciated for the reviews